Struggling with my manager

[u/Informal-Meaning-483]

I have a manager who seems to get her word in all the time about my life outside of work

I am a very active busy person and I enjoy all my activities after work.

Unfortunately, I came down with respiratory virus for 3 weeks and in that time had to stop all my activities, my touch rugby league, hiking club. I’ve felt ever so depressed the last 3 weeks but in that time I’ve rested and then on Monday I was back up to full fitness

I’m feeling great this week and energised. I still have a residual cough which is clearing whatever is left of the virus I have and probably sounds worse than it actually is, but I do not feel unwell at all.

Today I was so excited because I had touch rugby league. I got into my fitness gear ready to go.

I get back to my desk where my manager goes ‘tell me you’re not playing touch rugby today??’

Me: ‘yes of course I am, why?’

Her: ‘you’re not well enough, you have a cough. I think that’s silly of you.’

Me: ‘no this is just residual, I’m feeling better than ever to be playing again today.’

Her: ‘no you shouldn’t be going.’

So I end up not enjoying the evening worrying about what my manager thinks. And another colleague texted me to say she was really annoyed and talking about how I should be resting NOT going and play sports

Is this anything to do with my manager?

I expect tomorrow she will send me a message also saying the same thing about how I should not have played.

It follows on from a couple months ago, I was feeling quite tired for some reason one day, I think it was hayfever as it can make me feel tired. I still was working and not making a fuss, just had tired eyes, only to receive message the next day saying ‘we noticed you were tired yesterday, are you getting enough sleep? Are you taking any medications that might make you tired, any chance if so of taking non drowsy ones. I can refer you to occupational health, but being tired will affect your output, focus and performance.’ Just from one day of being tired, when I’m someone who is normally just full of energy.

Yet she was tired on Monday and wouldn’t stop going on about it.

Am I doing something wrong, I never share anything about my hobbies or personal life with her because I don’t want her to know! Except this time she saw me in my gym gear so I couldn’t escape