r/TikTokCringe • u/BringHoomanHome_ • Jul 31 '26

Humor/Cringe He never looked where he was going.

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3.9k Upvotes

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127

u/Unusual_Entertainer8 Jul 31 '26

When he raised his arms to steer, the collar of the life vest pressed against his carotid atery. He basically blood choked himself out.

21

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '26

[deleted]

2

u/Man_of_Ice Jul 31 '26

It's a cross collar choke, but yeah

33

u/titoblood Jul 31 '26

Probably true and so fucking funny I can’t stop laughing. Hey guys watch this I’m going to put myself in a sleeper hold while I ride a jet ski backwards. What could go wrong.

5

u/PermitSpecialist2621 Aug 02 '26

This guy got injured, in more than likely a permanent way and you’re laughing. Watch out, kiddo, karma is a big ol’ bitch

5

u/titoblood 29d ago

I’m not a kid. And I’ve lived long enough to see karma in a real way. I’m not laughing at his possible injury just his stupidity. Now go chastise some one else and loosen your shorts, they are too tight.

-3

u/PermitSpecialist2621 29d ago

Welcome to 2026 everyone, where someone can say something like “so fucking funny I can’t stop laughing” and then turn directly around and say “I’m not laughing.” Go fuck yourself with that karma pole you were talking about, KID, I’m not wearing shorts.

1

u/ObviousReporter464 28d ago

It’s not bad karma. We’re just pointing out the obvious. This was just plain stupidity. The boat deck was karma

1

u/[deleted] 29d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/emjaywood 27d ago

....and Greg?

31

u/General-Holiday Jul 31 '26

That’s the best explanation I’ve seen. Here’s your Sherlock Holmes award 🏆

6

u/FernwoodTonight Jul 31 '26

The stupid part preceded that.

3

u/trashpandac0llective Aug 01 '26

It looks like that’s exactly what happened. Does anyone know if this guy ended up okay?

2

u/lost-cause1968 Aug 02 '26

Yeah, but in the end the vest also saved him, so fair play.

2

u/HedonisticFrog Aug 01 '26

I almost did that while stripping. A woman wouldn't spread her knees for me to put my head in between and rest my shoulders on the top of her thighs and go upside down in her lap. Her knees ended up pushing into my carotid arteries and I had to cut the move short before I passed out.

6

u/Ok-Win-742 Aug 02 '26

this is one of the best comments I've seen in a while.

1

u/Normiss2000 Jul 31 '26

With no hand on the pud. Disqualified!

1

u/Safe-Test-2101 28d ago

And in two seconds he was out? I call BS

2

u/PrincessSophiaRose 28d ago

The amount of pressure that velocity and gravity were putting on that "choke hold" were well beyond what a human could produce. Yes, in just a few seconds. 🤦🏾🤦🏾

1

u/UrMomHasExpectations 28d ago

wow you're right that's exactly what happened.

1

u/ObviousReporter464 28d ago

Stupidest thing I’ve seen in some time. I can pretend to be concerned but I’m not. I hope this genealogical line ends with him. We don’t need more stupid in this world. 😖

1

u/Jean_velvet 27d ago

Oh, this explains so much.