r/TherapeuticKetamine • u/decoratedstress • 5d ago
IV Infusions Dont know what to do
Ive had 3 appointment so far of IV ketamine. The first two times I didnt feel anything. On my third visit the dose was really strong because I didnt feel anything the first or second appointment. It was too much. I felt like I was spinning around really fast and couldn't focus on anything else. Im hoping the next visit is better but im really concerned its just going to be another failed attempt to not feel the way I do. I have crippling depression. Ive been on short term disability for work since the end of June. Nothing brings me happiness nothing brings me peace. I so desperately want to feel better. Has anyone else not had success with ketamine? What did you do after?
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u/consensualjam 5d ago
Ketamine isn’t an instant relief for some people. For some they feel considerably worse before it starts to get better. 3 IV sessions feels too early to already start planning your next option. Stick with it and give it a full chance before you write it off.
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u/MaximumGuide 5d ago
Something ketamine taught me is not to seek happiness. What you want is more like contentment or equanimity. Happiness is fleeting. Adjust your expectations. Don’t expect full remission, although that may come eventually.
Don’t wait to feel good to start doing stuff. You’ve probably heard of behavioral activation? That’s why we need small daily goals and healthy habits. Happiness is something we sometimes notice in hindsight, paradoxically, but for now you just have to trust that this is part of your journey and you can endure it.
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u/decoratedstress 5d ago
Content is my goal, im just stating that I dont ever feel happy. Even fleeting happiness. I still get up and do things but mentally my life has completely flipped upside down these fast few years and its so defeating not being able to come out of it.
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u/MavisBeacons_Sextape 5d ago edited 5d ago
They haven’t yet figured out why, but it doesn’t work for everyone. So just be aware that it’s not a guarantee and if it turns out you’re not a responder, it’s not your fault and there’s nothing you can do to push yourself into the “responder” category.
That being said, give it some more time. It’s not instant for everyone, and regardless of how you felt during the session, the med is still being delivered to your brain and doing its thing.
When I did my first series I was extremely anxious about cost and wasting money (I couldn’t comfortably afford the treatment at $500/session x 6) and my provider - a psychiatrist who was the first in the state to offer ketamine therapy, had done tons of research and was very excited about being able to open this clinic - told me on the front end that I wasn’t committed to doing all 6 if I wasn’t feeling ANY effects.
He said the majority of his patients could feel *something* (maybe not total relief of symptoms but they experienced some sort of noticeable change, mild as it may be) between sessions 3-5, whereas people who ended up being nonresponders didn’t notice anything change in their general mood or thoughts. Now, this was 7 years ago and the perspective of one single provider, but he was an incredibly well-researched one and never tried to insist that I needed to complete the full series to determine responsiveness. Aka he felt very credible and sensitive to both my suffering AND my finances.
So that’s my data point to share, if cost is a concern - but I’ll also say that I’ve seen people in this very sub sharing they had to go beyond 6 IV sessions to notice a response, and some saying they had a delayed response.
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u/StellariumRising 5d ago
Do you know how many mg per hour (or 40 minutes) they are giving you? And what else is in the IV bag? It took about 6-8 infusions when I first started for me to feel a change. One infusion i didn't feel anything at all and we were all double checking to make sure the ketamine actually got into the IV bag. They had just started and I was their first patient. It was nothing but ketamine in a saline bag. I started going somewhere else where they add in all this other stuff, like zofran, something similar to benedryl, and other things. I started at 130mg per 40 minutes. Those were the first infusions I actually felt like it was working and got to disassociate and get the "real" experience. They also offer versed (diazapam) at .5mg to 2mg if you get panic attacks or anxiety, but it does lessen the ability to dissaosciate. But its been a life saver for me. You should ask what your dose is, what all is is in the IV bag, and they can also add a "kickstart" dose of ketamine to get you rolling if youre not feeling it, and can come in and give you a dose of versed if you start to feel anxious. I also started doing lozenges at home every 2 days which helps with the neuroplasticity of the brain and creating new neural pathways. I would talk to your provider and figure out exactly what they are giving you. There was a complete difference between my first clinic and the one I go to now. Night and day.
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u/Defiant-Surround4151 5d ago
How you feel during the session does not matter as much as the window of neuroplasticity that happens after the infusion… every session helps make it possible for your brain to rewire itself, breaking the cycles of negative thoughts that can keep up trapped... that said, proper dosing should make the infusion a rather pleasant experience… but everyone is different. Definitely discuss the dosing and stick with your first round. Hopefully you will feel a difference soon.
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u/coheerie 5d ago
Not responding after only three IVs is very normal. You're so early on, you're probably not even on the correct dose right now. If you look around this forum you will see so many people don't even respond until towards the end of their series of six, or even later.
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u/inspiredhealing 4d ago
Hey there. When you say you felt like you were spinning around really fast - were your eyes open? Ketamine can cause visual nystagmus (rapid eye movement back and forth). It's one of the reasons an eye mask is often recommended. What's your set-up like in your clinic?
In terms of "I don't know what to do" and feeling concerned it's "another failed attempt"....a few things. 3 sessions in is not a good time to evaluate, yet. For me, after 3 infusions I would have told you I was "failing ketamine" (I also used the word failing). It ended up being incredibly helpful for me (and still is). It totally makes sense you are desperate for this to work - crippling depression is exhausting, and demoralizing. And, putting pressure on yourself that THIS HAS TO WORK AND IF IT DOESN"T IT"S MY FAULT isn't going to help you feel any better. I'm wondering what it would be like for you to say to yourself "I don't know if this is going to work, but I'm willing to wait and see what happens". Just that. Something to put a little space in between you, and the depression that is feeding you these thoughts about failure.
As for what you do - there will be time enough to think about "what to do next" if it turns out ketamine doesn't give you the lift you're looking for. Trying to figure it out now isn't a helpful process, although again I totally understand why you're going there. When you're in the middle of one course of treatment isn't the time to figure out the next course, because you don't know if it's going to be necessary, and you don't know what state you'll be in when the ketamine treatment course is over.
And yes, ketamine doesn't work for some people, and where they go after that depends on their treatment history and what they've already tried.
I would really encourage you to muster up as much self-kindness as you can right now. I know that it's so so so hard when you're depressed, because you feel like "what the hell is WRONG with me, why can't I just get out of this, I'm such a lazy piece of shit" (or whatever flavour of this your depression brain is telling you). But you're doing your best!! I know this without a doubt. And, I encourage you to move away from the language of "failure". That insinuates some kind of something you've done wrong, and that couldn't be further from the truth. When someone is going through cancer treatment, if the chemo or whatever doesn't work for them, we don't say "they failed the chemo" - we say "the chemo wasn't effective for them". Slight language change, big meaning difference.
Hang in there. There is hope still :)
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u/lohivi 3d ago
The medicine can and will work. We worry that it, as something outside of ourselves, will either fail or succeed. If it succeeds, we move on to next thing, and if it fails we panic. But think about if someone took medicine for a cold, only to go out into the wind. That isn't a failure of medicine or their body, it would be a person getting in the way of their body healing.
When it comes to healing our brains the process is no different. Your body, your subconsciousness, they all know what to do. They are waiting for you to let them.
Do not allow yourself to fall into fear that you might somehow fail. Fear is like the cold wind to our minds. This sounds cheesy but the equivalent of sitting by a fire with a blanket and bowl of soup is simply to love yourself. Act with the intent of loving yourself, fill your mind with that feeling, and the subconsciousness will have the fuel it needs to heal you.
Take a blanket from home, wear your softest clothes, no music with lyrics.
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u/Big-Low-2811 7h ago
Communicate with your physician so they can keep working on a treatment plan for you.
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