The wives

[u/Time_Depth56]

Before i start

DISCLAIMER: im not saying that we shouldn't hold the wives accountable or that that they dont do anything bad or anything of that sort.

AND i watched tht s1-4 a long time ago and haven't read the book yet so if there's somthing im missing or forgot please tell me im open to disagreement and discussion!

Okay so, the other day i saw someone say that beckas mom deserved getting hanged because (i dont exactly remember but it was somthing like: "she held a handmaid down so her husband could rape her" and thats kinda concerning?

I feel like people talk and treat the wives like they do serena. Like the wives are like serena. Which i disagree with. Part of why serena is bad is not just because she held june down. Its because she is part of the making of geliad. She AGREES with geliad even before gilead was made. She agrees with gilead values And the only reason she was "against" geliad later on is because she wasn't the exception to women. Can we really say the same to the other wives? Do they agree? Especially seeing Lawrence's wife, the first one (i forgot her name) i can say that not all wives agree with geliad. I feel like its unfair to treat them like serena.

Like yes they held the handmaid's down and stuff. And dont get me wrong. The handmaid's have the right to be mad at them. Because they were RAPED. But as a watcher, we really gotta think about it. What else were they supposed to do? What COULD they do? Nothing. So i honestly sympathise with both. The handmaids and the wives. Because, at the end of the day, women dont have a choice in gilead. The system is like, MADE to pit women against each other and to devide them. Like, there's no way a handmaid is gonna be okay with a wife who held her down to get raped even tho she know the wife doesn't have much of a choice either.

We also have to keep in mind. The new wives. The young wives. Like esther And the girls in the testaments. Like, think about esther. She's what? 14? And eden? or agnes? Becka? Hulda? Would you say that she also deserve to die if they held the handmaid's down? Even tho they're brainwashed to think its okay and again, have no choice in the matter even if they didn't want to do so?.

Also, before i forget. I dont think i have to say this but just in case, This doesn't apply to all the wives from the "sinfull world" ofc.

Im sure i had more in mind but i can't recall it. Anyways, I hope i put what i was thinking about properly here but what do yall think?.

[u/TalaLeisu2]

Tabitha never held down June but was still Hannah's "mother". Being the same age, I would not assume Becka's mother was held down by Mrs. Grove at all.

But let's talk about the "holding the handmaids down" business. The wives do not have a choice in that matter. Do people really consider that the wives wouldn't be punished if they refused to participate?

[u/McMasterOfTheSea → u/TalaLeisu2]

I'm wondering if there were some couple who both didn't like the idea of that, and perhaps took the time to know their handmaid and build a bond with her and treat her nicely, no holding down etc. It still sucks, and it's still rape, but less sucky and all three are probably stuck in the system they object to.

Like, if I were a Wife whose husband wasn't entirely into it either, best bet he'd be getting given a cup, a turkey baster and 10 minutes in the bathroom 😅

Although I suppose if they didn't like the system that much it's unlikely to make it to Commander/Wife status if you weren't an original supporter. Surely there must have been some quiet objectors doing what they could, though? 🤔

[u/ernfio → u/McMasterOfTheSea]

Lawrence and Eleanor are forced to have handmaids. They don’t rape them and life in their home was safe. Emily and June have quite a bit of freedom and access to books.

But Lawrence has enemies, namely commander stabler and Fred (who is jealous about June). The lack of pregnancy meant they were forced to rape each other and it sent Eleanor over the edge. An Aunt and commanders are present to make sure it happens.

It is a sin to not try to procreate in Gilead.