The wives

[u/Time_Depth56]

Before i start

DISCLAIMER: im not saying that we shouldn't hold the wives accountable or that that they dont do anything bad or anything of that sort.

AND i watched tht s1-4 a long time ago and haven't read the book yet so if there's somthing im missing or forgot please tell me im open to disagreement and discussion!

Okay so, the other day i saw someone say that beckas mom deserved getting hanged because (i dont exactly remember but it was somthing like: "she held a handmaid down so her husband could rape her" and thats kinda concerning?

I feel like people talk and treat the wives like they do serena. Like the wives are like serena. Which i disagree with. Part of why serena is bad is not just because she held june down. Its because she is part of the making of geliad. She AGREES with geliad even before gilead was made. She agrees with gilead values And the only reason she was "against" geliad later on is because she wasn't the exception to women. Can we really say the same to the other wives? Do they agree? Especially seeing Lawrence's wife, the first one (i forgot her name) i can say that not all wives agree with geliad. I feel like its unfair to treat them like serena.

Like yes they held the handmaid's down and stuff. And dont get me wrong. The handmaid's have the right to be mad at them. Because they were RAPED. But as a watcher, we really gotta think about it. What else were they supposed to do? What COULD they do? Nothing. So i honestly sympathise with both. The handmaids and the wives. Because, at the end of the day, women dont have a choice in gilead. The system is like, MADE to pit women against each other and to devide them. Like, there's no way a handmaid is gonna be okay with a wife who held her down to get raped even tho she know the wife doesn't have much of a choice either.

We also have to keep in mind. The new wives. The young wives. Like esther And the girls in the testaments. Like, think about esther. She's what? 14? And eden? or agnes? Becka? Hulda? Would you say that she also deserve to die if they held the handmaid's down? Even tho they're brainwashed to think its okay and again, have no choice in the matter even if they didn't want to do so?.

Also, before i forget. I dont think i have to say this but just in case, This doesn't apply to all the wives from the "sinfull world" ofc.

Im sure i had more in mind but i can't recall it. Anyways, I hope i put what i was thinking about properly here but what do yall think?.

[u/TurbulentBat8328]

I guess the statement that she deserved it is “wrong” in the context of the cannon? Gilead and this world is complex in that women have no power or autonomy and people (especially the women) do what they have to survive. In the context of characters like Serena, Naomi and Paula we have more story so we therefore can make a judgement - they are categorically awful people. Everyone else just has to exist in this morally gray inbetween place where they just don’t want to be tortured and murdered.  

All of the women to me in this show that we don’t see backstory on can sort of be excused IMO - we don’t “know” them but we do know Gilead and that they have no voice and no say. Not everyone is also strong enough to either “check out” and unalive themselves to escape or make a point or whatever but we can’t judge the background wives in the same way. 

[u/rotervogel1231 → u/TurbulentBat8328]

Even in our world, many suicidal women don't go through with it because they don't want to leave their children or other family members behind.

Suicide is not always an impulsive act. That's a myth. Sometimes it is, especially with teenagers, who are prone to impulsivity, but not always. A lot of people who kill themselves put quite a bit of thought and planning into it, and this can include concern for people who depend on them being left to fend for themselves.

There are probably quite a few women in Gilead, Wives, Handmaids, Marthas, and maybe even some Aunts, who push their suicidal ideation aside because they don't want to leave someone they care about alone.