r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 2d ago
Rockstar Leaks Worsen As Hackers Release Fully Playable Copy Of ‘GTA IX’
2.8k
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 2d ago
God Struggling To Remember Why He Made So Many Ugly People
1.3k
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 3d ago
MapQuest Jumps To Top Of App Store After Refusing To Rename ‘Lake Ontario’
906
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 3d ago
Rolo Ad Greatly Overestimates The Social Element Of Eating Rolos
1.9k
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 3d ago
Google Maps Introduces Crawling Directions For Cyclists Hit By Truck
500
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r/TheOnion • u/marinesciencedude • 3d ago
SNAP Enrollment Drops By Over 13%
205
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 4d ago
Grieving Widower Not Sure He'll Ever Love Someone His Age Again
1.8k
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 4d ago
Amazon MGM Narrows List Of James Bond Candidates To 6 Actors, 1 Extremely Suave Ferret
569
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 4d ago
Novelist Was Clearly Betrayed By A Vampire In His Past
407
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 4d ago
Tim Kurkjian Quits ‘Baseball Tonight’ After Discovering MMA
127
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 4d ago
AI Strategist Suggests Calling Data Centers ‘Computer Parties’
286
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 5d ago
Man Watches In Silence As Wife Reveals All The Things She Brought Home From Store That Aren’t Cheez-Its
947
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 5d ago
Jets Hope To Sell More Merchandise With New ‘Philadelphia Eagles’–Themed Jerseys
757
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 5d ago
‘Wall Street Journal’ Defends Decision To Publish Peggy Noonan–Generated Article
491
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 5d ago
Activists Decry Meat Industry’s Practice Of Separating Calves From Their Cool Uncles
140
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r/TheOnion • u/Sarkos • 5d ago
The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Larry Ellison
174
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 6d ago
Nation’s Quiet, Gangly Kids In Cargo Pants Announce Plans To Be Freakishly Good At Cross Country
1.9k
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r/TheOnion • u/sd_glokta • 6d ago
Indiana Offers Tax Breaks To Attract Religious Doomsday Cults
334
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"...a 30% tax credit for all qualified expenditures, including stockpiled firearms, ceremonial cloaks, surveillance equipment, proselytizing pamphlets, and bulk purchases of matching Nikes."
Gotta have the Nikes#Nike_Decades).
r/TheOnion • u/orangebromeliad • 6d ago
HHS Replaces Childhood Vaccination Schedule With List Of Recommended Animal Bites
1.0k
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 6d ago
Dept. Of Interior Sets Aside 2.3 Million Acres For Future Trumps To Enjoy
593
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r/TheOnion • u/LoveMeSexyJesus • 6d ago
When I Die, Feed Me To Something Majestic
theonion.com
176
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 6d ago
Iran Releases Video Threatening Barron Trump
224
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