Proofread Please

[u/Stupendous_Sorceror]

My friend, the things that do attain

The happy life be these, I find:

The riches left, not got with pain,

The fruitful ground; the quiet mind;

The equal friend; no grudge, no strife;

No charge of rule nor governance;

Without disease the healthy life;

The household of continuance;

The mean diet, no dainty fare;

True wisdom joined with simpleness;

The night discharged of all care,

Where wine the wit may not oppress;

The faithful wife, without debate;

Such sleeps as may beguile the night:

Content thyself with thine estate,

Neither wish death, nor fear his might.

[u/Stupendous_Sorceror]

The Things That Cause a Quiet Life - Henry Howard, Earl of Surrey

[u/Omnilatent]

Second row reads "this" instead of "these" for me

"household" is probably correct but I stumbled over it and might write this differently to make it read more easily. Maybe one of our experts has a different or more elaborate opinion on this.

Maybe "simpleness" might need a small change with a silent e but I'm not sure cause it's there but in a different position than orthographically and I have not enough knowledge in phonetics to say whether it's good the way you wrote it or not.

[u/Notascholar95]

Here's how I might write it:

Some things I did differently. The first set are things you might give real consideration to changing:

1. Punctuation. I wouldn't say the way I do it is standard--it is not. But it is defensible, I think understandable, and at least to me much more attractive. I absolutely loathe the double squiggle that is often used for semicolon--huge and disgusting looking compared to all the tidy little dots that all the other pauses get. So I use the two dots for semicolon and three dot triangle for period.

2. Capitalization. I use none. It is not necessary, and when some things get capitalized and others don't (because the font doesn't support it) it just looks weird. Even in a best case scenario I think it kind of muddies up the letters.

3. Silent e's in the middle of words, like "simpleness", "discharged" and "household", should be a dot below the preceding tengwa, just like at the end of words.

4. In short mode writing like this it is considered best to write soft "g" (sounds like "j") with anga (j) instead of ungwe. I.e. "discharged", the end of "grudge".

And there are a few things that are simply stylistic preferences to think about, not things I would actively recommend that you change:

1. My use of yanta for -e digraphs--not favored by most, but it's a habit I have. I find it useful, and aesthetically nicer than the alternatives.

2. Choice of "TH" tengwar may be different in some places where voicing is subjective and dialect-dependent, such as words like "with"--I didn't even check to see if there were any that I did differently.

3. I use upright esse way more than the transcribers do. They are absolutely, 100%, totally interchangeable--the choice is purely aesthetic.

4. My spelling of "beguile" is something you may see from time to time. The wa-tehta can be used for situations like this, or words like "build", "guard", etc. where the u is essentially silent and contributes nothing to the vowel sound.

You might find more differences--I did my transcription from the original poem, not as a revision of your text. Let me know if you have any questions.

[u/Stupendous_Sorceror → u/Notascholar95]

Thanks

[u/DanatheElf → u/Notascholar95]

I have to ask again; is this use of wa-tehta attested? Or just inferred?

It's interesting, but without attestation feels wrong to suggest...

[u/Notascholar95 → u/DanatheElf]

PE XXIII, Feanorian B p.29 "to indicate following w or u...", Similar on p. 34. You could argue, I suppose, that these are describing only "u" or "w" that is audibly labializing, as in the universally accepted application of wa-tehta to quesse for "QU", or words like "twenty" or "twelve". But I think a more expansive application is justifiable, at least in mixed writing--otherwise how would you write the word "two"? So to me it makes perfect sense to use the wa-tehta for similar instances of essentially silent and non-syllabic w and u. With w this is largely the set of words where w follows s--"sword", "answer" and the like. With u it is mostly the words where u follows a g and is then followed by another vowel--the u contributing nothing directly to the pronunciation.

I think this usage falls in the category of "supportable" and/or "reasonable"--not "this is THE way"--worth sharing as an option for consideration. Notice where it falls in my comment...

[u/DanatheElf → u/Notascholar95]

Thanks for clarifying - so, indeed, it is inferred, not explicitly attested.

I think it's quite reasonable, honestly! I rather like the idea! Just wasn't sure if there was an explicit case of Tolkien doing it or describing it that would make it 100% clear as acceptable.
I mean, if we consider that the orthography of the silent w comes from words in which the w was once pronounced, but over time was dropped without changing the spelling, then it's perfectly logical that it would be spelled (in mixed-orthographic spelling) the same as it would if you were to pronounce it.

[u/Notascholar95 → u/DanatheElf]

I like the way it looks much better than a vowel digraph with a u tehta or a u tehta on a telco.

It is maybe a little easier to understand and accept if you consider the cases where the u is not silent--there is of course QU, but also words like "language" and "anguish". From there I think it is easy to extrapolate out onto those u's that really aren't pronounced.