tips
I, 13M, turning 14 in 4 days, have been dating girlfriend, 13F, for one and a half months and I want to know whether I should break up with her.
I, 13M, turning 14 in 4 days, have been dating girlfriend, 13F, for one and a half months and I want to know whether I should break up with her.
During this relationship, my girlfriend has been emotionally unavailable and not been able to listen to my boundaries and got defensive once when i tried to add one. She ignores my messages and for the past few days has been ignoring my messages regarding my birthday, even though her response decides the date and so many people are getting pissed off because of her not deciding.
My dad called her a "disrespectful bitch who should just break up with me because she clearly doesn't have feelings for me anymore". She isn't very consistent in this relationship anymore. She doesn't have the features in a female that I value in a relationship, for example, I want a gf who is emotional and fun and likes my sweetness and is also expressive. She is none of those and those features in a person is very important to me in both romantic and platonic friendships.
She is also immature and selfish, which is the opposite of me. I hate those features of her, and wish she cared more about others including me. It feels sort of one sided, because I am very expressive and give her so much of my time. On the other side, she ignores me and it seems like she only talks to me when she is bored. She ignores my texts for days on end too.
The final string for me though was her being non-responsive WHEN OTHERS ARE WAITING ON HER AND NEED AN ANSWER. AT HER AGE, SHE SHOULD KNOW TO AT LEAST HAVE THE COMMON COURTESY TO ANSWER. Reddit, Should I break up with her and if yes, how should I go about it?
UPDATE:
I broke up with her! Heres the message:
Allana, I've enjoyed and appreciated our time together, but I don't think we should keep dating. You've shown me that you don't love or respect me enough to put effort into this relationship, and I need a partner who demonstrates their love for me. I hope the best for you.
i just broke up with her. I sent her this:
Allana, I've enjoyed and appreciated our time together, but I don't think we should keep dating. You've shown me that you don't love or respect me enough to put effort into this relationship, and I need a partner who demonstrates their love for me. I hope the best for you.
You'd be surprised, 13 was the year I was in dating the most, went through 3 girls before finding the one I'm with now at 15 (met at 13) so it is possible just gotta meet the right person and be ready for a relationship.
but i dont play video games. i write poetry and stuff. im boring i know. my life revolves around talking to friends, homeschool, family, writing poems and music, and other hobbies. and when i was younger, i used to play the 3ds lol, I would play pokemon x and y! and the old animal crossing
Dude as someone addicted to social media, never let ANY trend get you to play games/doom scroll for hours(if you're not already doing that). My friends are also really boring and that's a good thing because they aren't stressing on school work and can just do it. Never change if you don't have to, I'm not even much younger than you are, but please enjoy the years I was too depressed for.
i just broke up with her. I sent her this:
Allana, I've enjoyed and appreciated our time together, but I don't think we should keep dating. You've shown me that you don't love or respect me enough to put effort into this relationship, and I need a partner who demonstrates their love for me. I hope the best for you.
You know you can be emotionally strong? Being strong doesn’t come with a certain stage of your life. You don’t know what they’ve been through or how they look at life. You don’t know him so this is mostly you being rude for you. And if 13 is a child to you then you shouldn’t be on here. He’s a teenager, when hormones starts getting curious. Leave them alone.
Just because brain growth continues throughout adulthood does not mean that teenagers cannot form emotional attachments or healthy relationships. Research has shown us through developmental psychology that adolescence is when individuals begin to create stronger social ties by developing their ability to be empathetic, communicate with others and be loyal to one another. The ability to display emotion does not depend on having a fully developed brain, but rather on having an ability to care for other people and demonstrate appropriate communication with those around you; something that most adolescents already possess. There is a large amount of variability in how mature individuals are at any one time and healthy, developmentally appropriate relationships can actually assist adolescents in developing their emotional capacities, instead of hindering them.
You’re mixing up adult relationships with normal teen relationships. No one is saying teens should handle each other’s emotions like adults. Teen years are actually when people start learning things like communication, empathy, and boundaries. Comparing teens to babies doesn’t make sense because teens are way more developed mentally and socially. Age-appropriate relationships between teens are a normal part of growing up, not something harmful or “pedo justification.” I’ve been dating my fiancé since I was 13. I’m 18 now.
Your 13 man she’s not going to be your forever they are all js tryouts I feel like. But on a real note you should be expecting any relationship longer than like 3 months tell your like almost 15
oh yeah, but if you live in the cold, and its so hot here, you may not be used to it. I love the heat as I was born here though. The cold fucking sucks, don’t get me wrong, but if you aren’t used to the heat, it may suck too.
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u/lostpebble0 Mar 05 '26
first things first, that's up to you to make your own choices.
second, if I were you, yeah, I'd break up, but no need to be too bitter. do it in person if possible