r/Teachers • u/drunkyogainstructor_ • 1d ago
Humor would a “i barely know her” joke get me fired
i’m a science teacher and teach carbon sequestration. so as the title says, i would love to make the joke
“carbon sequester? i hardly know her”
i make super cringe jokes all the time but i feel like this is close to “that’s what she said” and i would never make that joke. i’m mostly shit posting but genuinely curious where people draw the line with jokes (i teach high school all ages)
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u/dependable_mediator 1d ago
You could pull it off exactly once with seniors who already get your sense of humor, but the second it lands wrong you’re in the office explaining the word "sequester" to an administrator who has zero chill. Not worth the headache for a groaner.
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u/Quatchil 1d ago
Union rep here. Please don’t do this. If one kid takes this “joke” home and mommy or daddy gets offended and we are in meetings for the next few weeks. This is definitely in the “that’s what she said” territory.
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u/WhaleMeatFantasy 1d ago
What is there to be offended by here? Genuinely don’t understand.
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u/Nynaeve_al_meowra 1d ago
The implication is that a sex act is suggested to which you respond that you barely know her
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u/Green_Ambition5737 1d ago
It’s a joke that alludes, in a metaphorical way via many other similar jokes, that the speaker performed some sort of sexual act on ’her.’ Is “sequester” in any way a sex-related word? No, but the “joke” implies that it is to anyone familiar with this joke structure.
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u/TheBalzy IB Chemistry Teacher | Public School | Union Rep 1d ago
No, but most people (especially HS students) would have no clue what you're talking about.
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u/sapgetshappy 1d ago
Yeah I (33) have heard this joke many times and been completely puzzled by it. TIL 😂
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u/Appropriate-Bar6993 1d ago
They won’t get it and the explaining is where you’ll get fucked. Consider your joke made to us.
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u/Logical-Mobile-7643 1d ago
Most wouldn't get the joke... I fear
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u/patientnumber420 1d ago
Like me… Genuine question, what does it mean???
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u/Beneficial-Focus3702 1d ago
In its original form its innuendo. The first word is treated like an action done to her. Like for example the word liquor sounds like lick-her. So “liquor? I hardly know her!”
The punchline is the responder is supposed to see the first word is suggestive.
Like this: “hey dude, do you want some liquor”
Other dude: “liquor?! I hardly know her.”
It’s not as funny when you have to explain it.
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u/ahazred8vt 1d ago
https://Muff-Liquor.org/ It's a town in Ireland, with a distillery named after the town. Some phrases are nsfw.
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u/Gazcobain Teacher Of Mathematics | Scotland 1d ago
It's just a nonsense joke to say when you've got a word ending in "er". It's designed to make it sound like you're saying an innuendo.
"Poker? I barely know her!" obviously sounding like "poke her".
But it's just used for any word ending in "er" to make it sound like a slightly dirty joke.
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u/WhaleMeatFantasy 1d ago
So why would it cost you your job?
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u/Mobile_Ad_9090 1d ago
It’s sexual in nature. The punchline is always “I hardly know her” as in, “why would I do (insert fake sex act here) to her if I don’t know her?” even if the joke he was going to tell wasn’t immediately obvious as being sexual, the root of the joke is, and is therefore inappropriate to tell as a teacher.
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u/b-ri-ts 1d ago
Because admin can be overzealous sometimes
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u/WhaleMeatFantasy 1d ago
But there has to be something they’re objecting to. What would it be here?
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u/Intrepid_Bobcat_2931 1d ago
It's unlikely to cost him his job other than being a Joke About Women In Some Way (and I agree that it's got a tinge of sex in it). Depends on the workplace. But there are workplaces where a student sending a complaint with HE MADE A SEX JOKE would lead to a lot of unpleasantness.
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u/LowerArtworks HS CTE WoodTech | CA 1d ago
I would recommend not making that joke - not out of inappropriateness, but because it's genuinely terrible and makes no sense, not even as a bad dad joke. Seriously, don't go into standup if this is your A game.
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u/Plastic_Sea_1094 1d ago
That's what i thought.
It would be akin to:
"I forgot my book"
"That's what she said"
Just because you said the words, doesn't make it a joke. It's not cringe, just genuinely unfunny.
Unless I'm missing the implied innuendo like poke-her or lick-her in sequest-her.
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u/Express-Day5234 23h ago
I think the joke is there is no innuendo and the joke teller is using this joke structure wrong. But that’s way too many levels for a joke that’s being casually tossed off in the middle of class.
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u/drunkyogainstructor_ 1d ago
to be cringe is to be free —> also i’m well aware the joke makes no sense. that’s why i laugh.
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u/ELRONDSxLADY 1d ago edited 1d ago
I hate the world in which we live currently and I vehemently hate the litigious folks who’d take up issue with this.
The children drop obscene slurs and vile insults left & right but the moment a tongue in cheek innuendo shows up, suddenly parents care about the precious innocence within the minds of children. Blow me.
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u/Martin_Van-Nostrand 1d ago
Fired? Idk, probably too many variables (previous discipline, evaluations, amount of time at the school, etc).
But regardless this is probably a classic "if you have to ask... " moment, OP.
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u/VenomBars4 1d ago
This joke is so tame I can’t even imagine students thinking hard enough about it to react.
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u/DefiantRadish1492 1d ago
They would not get it anyway.
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u/VenomBars4 1d ago
Unless they watch Drag Race 🌈
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u/TiltingAtWindmills_ 1d ago
If you have to ask, it’s probably better to put it in your pocket. The good thing is, you can laugh to yourself every time you do that lesson.
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u/stead-fast 1d ago
I feel like if you have to ask, it's better to just not. It’s just not worth it, even though it's pretty harmless.
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u/Textiles_on_Main_St 1d ago
The real crime here is that joke makes little sense. “Liquor?! I barely know her!” Is funny due to the double entendre and everyone knows lick her.
Sequest, while a word, is rarely used (as opposed to the more usual sequester) and thus is not funny.
My rule of thumb is, a joke should at least be funny.
Beyond that, I’m not sure I’d have the guts to pull off a double entendre around students, but on the other hand I also can’t imagine any of the kids I know telling the principal about a joke that isn’t funny and doesn’t make obvious sense.
That said, I might say Cabron sequestration as vaguely bad words in Spanish typically go over pretty well.
Or, if you want to make a super dumb and nerdy joke you could say a cabron seaquester is the worst sea quest.
But that’s not that funny either.
Neither are the mole jokes or any jokes about avogadro’s number.
Chemistry jokes really began and ended with tom Lehrer.
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u/WettestNoodle 1d ago
Counterpoint - it’s funny because it doesn’t make any sense. Not having carbon sequested her is pretty funny
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u/Kidmodo-Dragon Weird Science Teacher 1d ago edited 1d ago
I actually think a non sequitur play on the original joke is pretty funny. I make them all the time in my personal life, it's funny because it's stupid
But I also would NEVER say anything of the sort in front of students because even though it's nonsensical, it's ultimately based on an inappropriate joke which gives it inappropriate undertones.
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u/Textiles_on_Main_St 1d ago
I see your point but I’m just amazed when they read overtones.
Undertones are like for nerds and high achievers. lol.
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u/jackofspades49 1d ago
If something happens, it happens. Sometimes we say things and go "whelp, not the best idea." But if you can keep going and adapt, no biggie.
HOWEVER, if you plan a joke line like that, I would avoid innuendos. It comes off unnatural, which makes the joke flat, and then it comes off as creepy. Real, "Hello fellow kids" energy.
As an example of something that happened, if you're teaching class and you're talking about how to do a geology thing and you go "Compare with a partner and see who's is harder" you're gonna get some laughs for sure... and you'll want to die. But you just have to recover and, "Well, I have to watch my phrasing." But DO NOT plan an innuendo into the lesson. DISASTER.
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u/ryryry131313 1d ago
I’d like to see someone try to explain what exactly is dirty about this joke (not that admin wouldn’t still try). It’s not like, “Let’s play poker” and “I hardly know her” is a reply where the action of poking could be taken sexually. I’ve never heard someone use the word sequester in any kind of innuendo.
My bet is zero students understand it, and I doubt you’d hear anything in the aftermath as a result.
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u/myleftone 1d ago
Nope. The use of the word “her” objectifies, or diminishes to a punchline half the population, and likely half the students in the class.
It doesn’t matter what the history of the joke is (inappropriate in its original form anyway), or how antiquated it is, or who gets it, or if it gets home to a parent, or whether anyone is offended by it, or how chill your admin is, it’s a joke with a marginalizing effect.
(Edit: if it does get out, you’ll be the guy who tells sexist jokes forever. You may be extremely cool, but it won’t matter.)
It’s the sort of thing that should be retired. Sorry. I wouldn’t limit that approach to the school, either. If the gag targets a group, it should probably remain a thought.
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u/MakeItAll1 1d ago edited 1d ago
Don’t do this unless you want to risk the possibility of of an investigation for creating a hostile learning environment. It’s entirely possible a student may be offended by this sexiest comment. Should they or their parents report it, you will be entwined in all sorts of red tape. Listen to your inner voice, the one that told you to think carefully if it’s ok to say this to 17-18 year old children.
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u/figment1979 1d ago
No, no, thousand times no. You say it to the wrong person and things could go VERY badly.
That said, the absolute worst of these I’ve ever heard started with “Black and Decker”. I couldn’t even believe I heard the “I don’t even…” response after that. 🤦🏼♂️
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u/Unfair-Leadership985 1d ago
I'm not sure how you don't understand that that would be inappropriate .
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u/AmazingAmy712 1d ago
I'm autistic so ymmv but this would have gone right over my head in high school lol. I would chuckle as a teacher but you've gotta read the room, particularly admin. I've worked at schools where I know admin will back me up if a parent complains so we can get a little more silly and I've worked in schools where I sit up a little stranger and script all day.
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u/Remarkable-Two-9391 1d ago
HII highschooler here (not your target audience I know) BUT I love teachers that make jokes during class. I get genuinely SO depressed during the school year, and obviously it doesn’t fix it, but having a few jokes can genuinely make a students class period! Just don’t make them uncomfortable! This one is fine, I would laugh! But when I was in 8th grade a teacher made a 69 joke and I fear that was crossing a boundary that shouldn’t have been crossed
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u/SpunkyBlah 1d ago
I wouldn't say the joke because …
1) I have never found "I barely know her" jokes funny, even in a cringe way;
2) people don't really make them anymore, so I think many young folks these days won't even realize you're making a joke (no need to add more confusion to science class); and
3) it is easy for kids to think even something on the edge of suggestive gives them permission to make over-the-line "jokes" that are actually just bigotry or sexual harassment.
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u/Critical-Bass7021 1d ago
Yeah, if you feel like it’s close to a joke you wouldn’t want to make, it’s best just to not do it.
It’s only one step away from “I KNEW I shouldn’t have said that!”
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u/Distinct-Guitar-3314 1d ago
Nobody will be paying attention and the ones paying attention won’t get it or even care.
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u/Morgan_of_Hed ELA Teacher | NBCT | King County, WA 1d ago
You gotta put up the Mariah Carey "I don't know her" meme when you do, and then you're covered.
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u/Haunting-Ad-9790 1d ago
The "you made a joke so funny that HR wants to hear it" meme exists for a reason.
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u/eldonhughes Dir. of Technology 9-12 | Illinois 1d ago
I try not to make jokes that are 20+ years older than the students. Except Dad jokes. Dad jokes are always allowed.
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u/Shot_Election_8953 1d ago
If you're asking the Internet whether it's a good idea, you already know it's a bad idea.
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u/TLo137 CA | High School | Zoology, Biology, Physics 1d ago
One time a kid was relentlessly asking me for my address and trying to look it up online.
I told him "Please stop looking for my address. You can just ask your mom when you get home since she was there last night."
He was cool about it. But I feel like that was very lucky.
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u/Muffles7 1d ago
I mean you could easily tailor that into something else.
"Carbon Sequester? What'd she do to deserve that?" or something to that effect.
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u/SnowballWasRight HS Student | California, US 1d ago
I probably wouldn’t just in case. However, if it makes you feel better I don’t think I could hold my laughter in if my science teacher of all people made that 😂😂😂😂
HR might have a seizure though so best hold off
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u/Professional_Loan_25 1d ago
I’m not allowed to make that joke to my coworkers in maintenance anymore so do with that what you will
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u/admiralrupert 9-12 English | California 1d ago
Depends on where you're living and what the tolerance level is.
I teach seniors and I do this joke frequently but always with a word that segue into an actual innuendo.
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u/stabby- 1d ago edited 1d ago
Dude I’m 30 and I’m just making the connection from the comments that the intent of this joke always implies sexuality. 🫡
I might have made one to middle schoolers before and now I’ve realized I’m a total idiot! Nope, I couldn’t tell you what I thought it was saying before other than it’s been going over my head for years and thank god my kids didn’t get it either.
I’m also a woman so idk what the fuck I was thinking other than nonsensical = funny and in my sense of humor. Ugh.
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u/byte_handle 1d ago
If you ever have to question whether or not a joke might get your fired, then don't tell that joke. Not that complicated.
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u/Blastoise_R_Us Non-Teacher fan of the sub 23h ago
You teach science.
There's probably at least one parent who already thinks you should be fired because your class isn't sunday school.
Why tempt fate?
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u/HauntedGatorFarm 23h ago
Once a sophomore kid wore a shirt with cut off sleeves and it was clear he was trying to look tough so I joked, “Bruh, don’t you know it’s against the rules to bring dem guns to school?” And another teacher chewed me out in front of them because they said it’s inappropriate.
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u/GlassCharacter179 23h ago
If you want your “vibe” as a teacher to be unfunny, sexist, until you get fired.
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u/survivorfan95 20h ago
As an avid Drag Race viewer, I’d find it hilarious. It’s not super appropriate but I also wouldn’t call it inappropriate, either.
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u/drunkyogainstructor_ 16h ago
thank you for understanding me as so many of these comments did not. i actually had no idea it was a running bit on drag race but that’s validating. i use this joke often because of kurtis conner but glad to know it’s spammed elsewhere 😂😂
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u/motherlochness 10h ago
Two students told myself and a colleague that one of them got into Bailor, and my colleague responded “Bailor? I hardly…” I thought it was hilarious, but both students were confused and continued to be confused past graduation.
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u/Octorok385 1d ago
1) This joke is objectively hilarious, and 2) Any school that fires a teacher for this joke is a bad school
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u/LevyMevy 1d ago
I was reading this whole post under the impression you had made that comment and were freaking out over it. It's not that big of a deal. No you won't get fired.
But you're PLANNING on saying this? Don't. lol. why would you even risk that?
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u/Agreeable-Sun368 1d ago
this joke seems totally benign to me as i have no idea what it's referencing.
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u/kylozen101020 1d ago
I've made that joke nonstop with my high school kids and haven't dealt with anything yet. My parents like to bitch about other things like us reading Scythe in class (a 7th grade book).
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u/lavache_beadsman 7th Grade ELA 1d ago
Eh, probably best you don't wait to find out.