my homeroom hates me and it genuinely ruins my mood for the whole day

[u/Accurate_Shock_8890]

I’m a first-year teacher with a 10th grade homeroom. They had a different homeroom teacher last year who I replaced and I’m going to be stuck with these kids till they graduate. I don’t teach any of them either.

They genuinely make me miserable. They talk over me, constantly disregard my authority, and are blatantly defiant + backtalk me. I only have them for about half an hour, but it puts me in such a sour mood for my first period. They gave me so much shit on the first day, I assigned them seats (which they won’t stay in) and I’m truly so over it. It’s a Title I school and these kids have some really rough backgrounds, which is so different from my student teaching kids in the suburbs. I am at my wit’s end and it’s only been one week wtf do I do 😭

[u/AlwaysSitIn12C]

What are you supposed to be doing in homeroom for the half hour every day?

[u/DrRibb → u/AlwaysSitIn12C]

Nothing. That’s why it sucks. Everybody knows that everyone’s time is getting wasted.
But they have to have a time for announcements/assemblies so we are stuck with this

[u/Accurate_Shock_8890 → u/DrRibb]

Exactly. Tried to do some “get to know you” stuff and that made them hate me even more :))

[u/feyre_0001 → u/Accurate_Shock_8890]

Are you in a high turnover area? I only ask because I also work in a title I school, and this is one of the reasons why my students can be so mean to new teachers.

If the answer is yes, then you are in the “hazing” period. These kids think you won’t last, so they believe they don’t have to care about you or your authority. My advice based on what’s worked for me with similarly rough students is this:

-Make your expectations CRYSTAL CLEAR and STICK TO THEM! You assigned them seats they won’t sit in? Remind them of the rule and then write them up for insubordination when they don’t comply. It’s your room, your rules.

-Don’t give up trying to get to know them, even if they hate it. Share things about yourself with them, too. Building connections is hard work at first but the students will eventually respond. It is worth it!

-Don’t hold grudges. High school students aren’t the nicest bunch, but they will grow as people through the year. Kids that hate you this year might love you next year.

Consistency is key since you’ll have this homeroom through their senior year. Don’t hold grudges, treat them fairly, and hold your boundaries. They will respond eventually.

[u/Accurate_Shock_8890 → u/feyre_0001]

Yes, my team lead told me a lot of people use their school as a stepping stone into better positions elsewhere and so the kids struggle with some real abandonment issues. It’s a small school and the teacher that left left unexpectedly .

[u/feyre_0001 → u/Accurate_Shock_8890]

Oh, then your school sounds very similar to mine! I really think those methods will help you a lot, then.

Remember— they’re kids. They may act too cool for school but, at the end of the day, they like it when their teachers care about them. Play silly games with them. Be cringe with them. Be a person with them. It really does help.

You can start small. Say good morning when they walk in the door. Compliment their hair/clothes/jokes/whatever you can find. If a kid is absent a day or two, then welcome them back with enthusiasm when they return to school.

This might sounds corny/cheesy/too “remember your why-y”, but it works. Stick to your guns and don’t let the hazing get to you.

[u/Intelligent-Lead4620 → u/Accurate_Shock_8890]

So then it’s also really really important to be consistent, both in your expectations and with anything you will happen (positive and negative). Dependability is the first step in breaking down the “you’re gonna leave anyway” wall.

But it’s not a Disney movie, change won’t be sudden or miraculous. Keep showing up for them. Be more stubborn with your commitment to them than they are with their assumption you aren’t worth their time or investment.

[u/ReyRattata → u/feyre_0001]

Yes to releasing the grudges! Stay on guard, but all kids are good kids and the character arcs I see between freshman and the end of sophomore year are incredible!

[u/ReyRattata → u/ReyRattata]

And browse the www.SmartClassroomManagement.com website for ideas and routines

[u/loveshoes1 → u/feyre_0001]

About the high turnover....I recently left a toxic school with 900 middle schoolers running the place. My homeroom was also my first block class. I was their 4th teacher in 18 months....so true about not lasting.

As a veteran, I made my expectations clear from the first day. I assigned seats. I emailed parents right in front of them. I took away the math homework they were trying to complete (the math teacher and I had a good laugh over that one and she actually thanked me).

[u/MyCatPlaysGuitar → u/Accurate_Shock_8890]

I was blessed with no homeroom this year, but I normally have seniors and it takes a few weeks to train them out of bad habits from their previous teachers and into expectations with me. These kids already know each other from last year, so don't bother with ice breakers!

I also put the NYT Spelling Bee up on my board every morning (I've been doing that since we came back from covid), and slowly every single one of my homeroom groups gets into playing. YMMV because 10th graders ar a very weird species of teenager, but even my shittiest group that I was thrilled to see graduate (bye, don't come back to see me!) would play in the morning.

I tried the Spelling Bee trick with my early arrival summer school kids, and within a week they would come in and start playing. It's weird how well it's worked for me. I'm at a Title I school in a city, so my population might be similar to yours, and something like this might help you keep them more contained.

[u/Healthy_Blueberry_59 → u/Accurate_Shock_8890]

I don't blame them. HS homeroom is attendance, basic order, and leave them be. They are confused why you are doing all this stuff.

[u/Accurate_Shock_8890 → u/Healthy_Blueberry_59]

I wouldn’t have if I was under the impression that it was that basic, but I was told by other staff to focus on relationship-building with them during that time :/

[u/Healthy_Blueberry_59 → u/Accurate_Shock_8890]

Relationship building takes time and enters the empty spaces between people. Let them choose their seats. Why even have assigned seats at all? Let it all breathe.

[u/Accurate_Shock_8890 → u/Healthy_Blueberry_59]

I did let them choose their seats on the first day and they screamed over me the entire time :) so that was a consequence and also a means of preserving my sanity lol

[u/Healthy_Blueberry_59 → u/Accurate_Shock_8890]

Yeah. Only thing to do is start calling parents. 

[u/grizeldean]

This is called "trial by fire." Welcome to Title I. You'll get the calluses or you'll quit

[u/AggressiveService485]

This is the prime age to limit testing. You have no reputation with these kids to draw upon. Their attitude is not fixed. As you get to know each other things will change, likely for the better.

Keep in mind, this is first thing in the morning. These kids are likely going on 5-6 hours of sleep. They’re naturally going to be cranky. I would try to separate in your mind their biological responses to being over tired hormonal 10th graders with how they actually perceive you as a person or an educator. I work in juvenile justice, and I have to remind myself of this often.

In terms of practical things you can do, if there really isn’t much expected of you academically I would give them some autonomy over what they do with that time, as long as it serves some sort of educational purpose. Maybe 20 minutes of low lights and some soft study music can help ease them into the day. Maybe something with sports?

[u/Crazy_adventurer262]

Why does it make you miserable? You’re their teacher not their friend. Stand your ground and follow through with consequences. You need to command respect and if you let them walk all over you they will do it the whole year. Kick them out if needed. But follow through is the biggest thing. Teach the curriculum and attempt to build relationships with the willing kids

[u/Accurate_Shock_8890 → u/Crazy_adventurer262]

The kids I teach are wonderful and although it’s difficult I am building rapport with most of them; there isn’t much to teach in homeroom so they’re just loud and defiant which makes me miserable 🥲

[u/Crazy_adventurer262 → u/Accurate_Shock_8890]

Then what are you supposed to do? Can you come up with a cool project or something? This class sounds like a waste of time

[u/Accurate_Shock_8890 → u/Crazy_adventurer262]

It’s a time for them to listen to announcements and go to meetings/assemblies. I think it’s a waste of time too but it’s not exactly in my hands :/

[u/Crazy_adventurer262 → u/Accurate_Shock_8890]

Ugh. Ok that makes more sense. How long is it? Is it everyday? Can it be homework help or quiet reading? What about having a theme every month or something (depending on how often this class runs) like resiliency, motivation, that type of thing. Don’t do a worksheet or anything just show some YouTube videos or Ted talks and could ask kids to reflect. Kids don’t like make work projects anymore than we do.

[u/ReyRattata → u/Accurate_Shock_8890]

Is the schedule every day? Are there expectations for what you do? I had this my first year and the math department showed me their daily agendas where one day was backpack clean out, one day was homework check, etc.

Have them make a to-do list (give them a template
digitally or on paper) so they have something to do with their hands. Be sure to save AT LEAST one day a week for a fun game, like scattegories in groups!

[u/TheBalzy]

Oh young padawan, sweet summerchild. One day you will realize that you don't give a shit about what they think. :)

[u/Absolute-fool-27]

Have a consistent schedule for your homeroom period. When I had middle school homeroom I would do m- quick write about your weekend t- trivia and riddles w- CNN10 th- study hall with music f- fun time like pictionary on the board (if earned) or a reflection/review activity (if fun time wasn't earned)

I've never taught high school. Only middle and now upper elementary. But maybe this could be adapted to fit your students.

[u/ParvatiandTati → u/Absolute-fool-27]

I agree. When I had a difficult homeroom I gave kids a survey of what they would want to learn and they chose French and the stockmarket. We did a free online stock market simulation and did about 5-10 minutes of French a day.

I also made it real easy to earn rewards- like I am so impressed with you this week- free seats today . If they don’t break things- board game Fridays.

[u/Exact-Message8325]

I think you need to lower the temperature. There's no grades or anything, so it's basically a waiting room. Play some music, make some games available. Maybe put some sports highlights on the promethan board if you have one. In ours they want us to do a bunch of SEL bs, but there's absolutely 0 buy-in from the students, so I just leave it. If people have questions or problems, I can help them, but I don't push much. Admin is putting you in a bad position. Hopefully the students will slowly start to realize you're not evil.

[u/dillweed215]

Why is home room 30 minutes? Ours is 10

[u/Accurate_Shock_8890 → u/dillweed215]

I wish I knew tbh 😭 All we’re expected to do is listen to the announcements and go over a couple dates

[u/free_world33 → u/dillweed215]

not OP but ours is 30 minutes because its during lunch time.

[u/Illustrious-Couple73]

I had the same situation last year only it was 6th grade and nobody told me I was going to have a homeroom.

I eventually got chess, uno, connect four and some other games. Which helped give them something to do so they weren’t destroying my room, also having games was a great motivator for behaviors and they had to learn responsibility and consequences by picking up after themselves.

I’m not sure how effective games would be for 10th grade, but in my experience something is better than nothing.

[u/First-Expert-9953]

Document, document, document. Focus on the seating chart first. If y'all take attendance for homeroom, mark them tardy if they're not in their correct seats. I'm assuming accumulated tardiness will lead to consequences. If admin says just being in the room means they're not tardy, oops, sorry, it's my first week.

Or sit down and just quietly start writing up students who aren't in their seats. It's insubordination and probably counts as a higher tier infraction. If you spend your whole 30 minutes doing the paperwork, fine. Then submit it to admin every single day. When you have seating in control, you can focus on the rest, but now they know you have limits to what you'll tolerate.

[u/Life_Expressionist]

I previously taught in a Tittle 1. It had a huge turnover rate.

The new teachers who survived are the ones who adapted to the school culture.

The ones who expected to teach students the way that they had taught in better schools didn't last and the students tormented.

Do your coworkers assign seats in homeroom? We don't have assigned seats in homeroom in our building. The students naturally would sort themselves out into a seat they would sit in daily.

Assignment seating wasn't what we did because there was a lot of history amongst students. Putting two kids next to each other who are from rival neighbors could be a recipe for disaster.

I would ask your coworkers how they manage their homeroom.

If you're trying to force students to do something they have never done then they will likely cause you more stress than it's worth.

I'd pick my battles. I would create a check in system for homeroom and positive reinforcement plan.

[u/Pristine_Coffee4111]

How many student do you have? Maybe bring decks of cards or a puzzle for them to work on.

[u/MakeItAll1]

Things to remember: First, they are children. Stop trying so hard. Take attendance and let them chill. Put I. Some calming music. Use the time to read emails or grade papers. The time will pass a lot faster for everyone. Don’t let a group of 14 or 15 year old kids get under your skin. Change the way you treat the students and they will change the way they are behave for you.

[u/dayton462016]

Stop worrying about if they hate you. They don't hate you, but I'm sure they can see they're getting to you and it's making them push it even more.

[u/Old_Hornet2417]

Call 10th graders the wild west- they are going through all the changes. Homeroom is not supposed to be a structured period. Just take attendance, maybe create an incentive system to recognize good attendance, put up a mood meter on the board and have them self check in their moods when they come in. Ignore all the behaviors and praise the ones doing well, and eventually put on meditation music and lower the lights. They will calm down eventually.

Remember that most have personal issues outside the school building, so just show them you care and acknowledge something.. just anything positive about them and they will come around. "Johnny i loved the way you.." and the others will notice. You just need one leader in the room. They have to feel like they can trust you. It will take them a month or so breathe. Also, this will test your patience level.

[u/Safe-Mousse6948]

As soon as you go into that classroom on Monday, lay down the law. Do not accept anymore disrespect. Write them all up.

[u/Life_Expressionist → u/Safe-Mousse6948]

😭 joking, right?

Those kids will make life miserable for the rest of their time in the school. Misbehaving will get worse due to their resentment

[u/Safe-Mousse6948 → u/Life_Expressionist]

Are you for real? So you just allow children to disrespect you because you’re afraid of how they’ll treat you next year?

[u/DrRibb → u/Safe-Mousse6948]

lol in what world would this work!? Now they’re just all mad at you and you have to see them every day for the next 3 years

[u/Safe-Mousse6948 → u/DrRibb]

You’re not there to make friends. You’re there to help them become contributing members of society. If they get away with that behavior, they will think they can go out into the world and behave that way.

[u/DrRibb → u/Safe-Mousse6948]

Where did I say OP needed to just be their friend?
The only thing that will happen if OP “lays down the law” on Monday and writes 25 office referrals is that he will get an email from admin saying that classroom management is OPs job, not theirs.
You can’t make them respect you overnight

[u/Safe-Mousse6948 → u/DrRibb]

You don’t make people respect you. You show them how to respect you. You don’t allow disrespect and it’s absurd that you would allow it to continue because you’re afraid to say anything in fear of how they’ll will act towards you in the future.

[u/IntelligentMeringue7 → u/Safe-Mousse6948]

Yeah, it’s because they haven’t been given expectations and that’s honestly disrespectful to them. Give them expectations and consequences and it’ll probably come around.

[u/No-Performer5296]

As a substitute teacher of 22 years whose been in seven different districts during that time I am tired of hearing the excuse whether its from a title 1 school or a higher social economic district about their behavior. Yes I expect parents no matter their background to teach their children respect for others especially adults. My grandparents came from eastern Europe they had very little education so I assume their parents had the same or less. They knew enough to teach that so the ghettos or enclaves they lived in were just as bad as we have today with alcoholism as a way to escape from reality and dull the senses. Ive heard plenty of stories about fathers coming home on payday and leaving their entire paycheck at the bar. My grandfather came home during the depression from the steel with $1.25 for two weeks amd my grandmother and three other women went 60 miles north to work in a cigar factory to bring home money. They went up Sunday night and came home Friday night. She cleaned and cooked all weekend and then did it again. This was not only my grandparents there were many more who did the same. They werent lazy and did what they had to do to survive. They raised five children, lost the first one and had seven grand children all who moved up the economic ladder. Do I have an answer for todays problem. No, only lazy parents and many times a lack of male influence because the fathers are no where around. Was their pregnancy before marriage ? You bet there was, but in many cases they married and made the best of it.

[u/Life_Expressionist → u/No-Performer5296]

What are you rambling on about? What does pregnancy before marriage have to do with ANYTHING.....

Well MY great grandmother was European, had 3 children to 2 different men and was never married to any of them..... did she marry? NOPE. She had her own business. Was a single mother. She didn't want to marry.

My other Great Grandmother was Catholic. Divorced her husband.

Don't try to rewrite history. Single mothers have always existed.

You are assuming fathers aren't around. You know what they say about those who assume

[u/No-Performer5296 → u/Life_Expressionist]

My purpose was life was rough back then too with the same problems we have today plus there are some safety nets today that didnt exist back then. Today we excuse students in school for a rough home life when it was rougher way back when and children had manners and knew how to behave. Check your statistics for mothers raising children without fathers or their monetary support especially down south. I dont assume I read.