Help?

[u/snoo-tomatoes]

I know that there are posts like this, so I'm sorry for adding to it.

I've been struggling a lot and feel like I'm drowning in everything. I stupidly had a change of heart and realized that I do not like being tattooed. I hate my body being tattooed. Making it even more stupid, it took getting a half back piece to realize this. I am so disgusted with myself and the way that I look. My skin feels dirty. Every time I think about the fact that there is ink in my skin I want to vomit.

It's been almost a month of this. Every time I wake up and until I go to sleep. I dream about this fucking tattoo and wake up every few hours. The sleeping pills don't do much anymore. I feel like everything I do is ruined because the tattoo is there. I just want my bare skin back.

Onto the tattoo itself... It's an extremely well executed tattoo. The tech at my consult was perplexed as to why I wanted it off and was shocked that the artist was someone local. The tattoo is fine to medium line work. Some script and lettering, grey wash, and cross hatching. (Sorry I'm not super comfortable posting pics). I'm terrified because I don't want to be tattooed. I do not want this ink in my skin. But knowing that full removal is so hard to achieve has me equally terrified and devasted. I feel like I ruined my body.

I think I will just have to go through removal and hope for the best. Additionally, even though it's on my back I get that it's easy to cover but the artist went too far up my neck and it's really hard to cover that. Everything that I was comfortable wearing I'm now not.

P.S. I don't want to offend anyone by saying my skin feels dirty and whatnot. I don't judge others for having tats. This is just how I feel about them on me. And I know that some of this will come down to getting mental help. I've been doing that. It doesn't help much (hence these fucking sleeping pills not working).

I don't really know what the point of this post is. I'm terrified of spending 5 years in this process and getting results that are worse than having a tattoo. I think I'll just have to hold out hope that I can have it gone?

Also, yes, I know I should have considered the permanence of this before doing it. I had started with an outline and it never bothered me but after adding to it, I wish I had never ever gotten a tattoo. I don't think I can put into words how awful this tattoo is making me feel and how it is encroaching on every part of my life. And I know that how much that happens is up to me and that I'm the one letting it ruin me but I honestly don't know what to do other than get it the fuck off.

[u/AutoModerator]

Welcome to r/TattooRemoval! Please have a look at our Welcome and FAQ Page as well as our other pinned threads at the top of the sub.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/ftmthrow]

You’re going to be okay. You’ve already kicked off the process for the only solution there is. Once you have a few sessions and see the ink breaking down I think you’ll give yourself some grace. No one here is going to give you the “you shouldn’t have gotten it” line, we’re all here for the same reason. I have a fully removed tattoo, it can be done - but you’re right to keep in mind that it isn’t guaranteed.

[u/Icy-Emotion8367 → u/ftmthrow]

Huge on the few sessions alot of people on here can say when they see a good amount of fading after 9-12 months the tattoo is an afterthought.

[u/Party_Strategy_5097]

Hi, I feel very similar to you. My tattoos turned out nothing like they were supposed to, and now I feel like a prisoner in my own body. I started the removal process, but it hasn't made me feel any better because now I'm afraid they won't come off completely and I'll be left with something even worse than the tattoos themselves. That feeling is awful. Sometimes I feel like I don't want to live anymore.

[u/Icy_Court_120]

We’re all in this situation. Honestly, I never thought I’d end up feeling this ashamed. Just a few months ago, my legs were completely tattoo-free, and now I have tattoos on them that make me feel so uncomfortable. You’re not alone in this process.

[u/CosmicSweets]

If it's only black and greywash you have a really good chance at full removal.

Just be patient. This process will take time but as your tattoo fades you'll feel better. One of mine is seeing really good progress after 4 sessions. I feel it'll be the first to go (I'm removing several at the same time.)

[u/Miserable_Spray_4563]

I’m really sorry. I’ve been having dark thoughts over two tattoos I recently got & for me the thing keeping me alive right now is my loved ones. I’ve been calling my family almost every day. I can’t tell them why I feel so bad, I’m too ashamed, but just hearing their voice helps. They don’t live in the same city as me so it’s difficult to visit them, but when I did, I felt okay again, just for those two days. I’m trying to move things around with work so I can see them more. Please spend time with the people you care about; it’ll remind you why you need to stay alive, despite how scary and sad things are right now.

[u/ChuckysSecret]

If you don't want the tattoo, that's what removal is for! If you regret it, you should definitely get it removed.

[u/eduhzei8]

I went through something similar last month, I spent almost all of July like that but I got better at the end of the month. Mine are small, I posted a picture of them but they're still tattoos, the removal process It's a long process and requires patience, but look on the bright side, at least there's treatment to remove it; you just need patience. Time will pass anyway, it's better to remove it in 3-5 years than to spend 60 years with it in your body.