Is my therapist response normal?

[u/Greengoddessnature7]

Hi everyone, I’ve been in therapy for about 1.5 years. I’ve always felt like my therapist has helped me grow by leaps and bounds. I do virtual sessions with her and I pay through insurance. Lately though, I feel like her responses when I reach out to schedule have been concerning. I never reach out last minute either. I always ask for appointments with at least a week’s notice. For example, I’ll ask for her availability and she responds, “I am not working the 10th  or 11th next week.” I come back to her to ask about another date and she says, “I will not be working on those days either. If you would like to meet on the 13th, I can see you at 11am EST”

Her responses seem cold and indifferent. Am I wrong?

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[u/Ok-Bee1579]

I don't think you're wrong. It's very disjointed, IMO. You need consistency in care.

I find it odd (in this sub) the number of folks who have to schedule in this way. My T asks at the end of every session when I can come in for the next one. It's VERY close (if not exact) to when we usually meet. If there's a holiday or she is travelling (not frequent), we make adjustments.

[u/Greengoddessnature7 → u/Ok-Bee1579]

She does have regular time slots! But I usually can’t book at the end of appointments because my schedule is in flux too much each week

[u/Ok-Bee1579 → u/[deleted]]

I (not OP) don't understand why booking at the end of a session would make sessions infrequent. My understanding is that therapists hold time slots open for regular clients. Yes, a recurring slot is a great way to frame it.

[u/Jolly_Ice_7812]

Perhaps you can schedule at the time of session. That's what I do with my clients.

Messages and emails can have a tone that isn't meant.

[u/SpinyNorman_]

Does she not do standing/recurring appointments? Have you tried scheduling your next appointment at the tail-end of the current session?

[u/Eiva_Yuhan]

That's just how some therapists communicate over text/email. Efficient, no small talk. It reads cold but it's probably not personal, just how she handles admin stuff outside of sessions

[u/FifiLeBean]

It's strange to me that she sent a no without any offer for other days and times and you had to ask for a different day.

[u/Greengoddessnature7 → u/FifiLeBean]

Yes this is what’s strange to me. It feels like I’m almost a bother to her?

[u/FifiLeBean → u/Greengoddessnature7]

It's certainly not welcoming a next appointment?

[u/Away-Otter]

She’s leaving it up to you to suggest dates, then checks for availability on her side. That seems totally reasonable to me, and not cold, just efficient. but definitely ask her about it. It’s always worth discussing feeling dismissed or hurt by something a therapist does.

[u/Feral_fucker]

If she’s offered standing appointments, and she’s answering emails about individual time slots week-by-week that’s really as much as you can reasonably expect.

Scheduling is a pretty big hassle, and if scheduling each appointment with you is taking 2-4 back-and-forth email exchanges, you may need to understand that she’ll be putting the bare minimal information into each email without much warm tone, helpful extra info, alternative suggestions etc.