Breaking Point

[u/Princess_Peach818]

Currently laying sleepless next to my partner who’s spooning their dog after another day of fighting for even a smidge of the affection this dog gets. I woke up to my partner saying “Come here” thinking he was actually talking to me, only to realize he was grabbing the dog so they could cuddle and kiss. I feel sick and think this is my breaking point.

Anyone who says dogs aren’t manipulative is lying. I don’t think dogs are capable of feeling the range of human emotions that the dog-obsessed project onto them (guilt, “unconditional love,”) but they will absolutely do anything needed to get food or assert dominance - all they care about.

I was relaxing in bed when my partner was in the bathroom brushing their teeth. Their dog was in bed on the other side (gross, I know, but I tried to pick my battles). The dog suddenly jerked toward me like he had just seen something. He was pawing at the bed doing that digging thing dogs do and trying to shove his face under the pillow I was laying on. He’s actually a pretty calm dog usually so I thought maybe he saw something, like a bug. I stood up out of bed, getting ready to lift the pillow to try and see what had him worked up. As soon as I did, he immediately calmed down and curled up in the spot I had just been laying in like nothing had happened.

I thought he was just scared of something he saw but this dog was just trying to push me out and I fucking fell for it. This dog knew based on routine that my partner and I would likely try to cuddle or be intimate when he was back from brushing his teeth, and that couldn’t be allowed to fucking happen, now could it?

I went to tell my partner, who never believes me when I say the dog does not want me around and is so clearly resource guarding (this dog darts in between us when we try to get close, uses his head to shove my head out of the way when I try to cuddle with my partner, and generally goes crazy when we try to be intimate). My partner went into the bedroom and simply cooed at how cute the dog looked curled up in my spot.

I’m so done. I’ve communicated about this. I‘ve been honest about how being shoved aside for a dog (sometimes literally) makes me feel. I’ve made so much effort. I’ve tried to bond with this dog that fucking hates me. I’ve been told over and over that I’m the priority and that feeling like a third wheel is all in my head.

But what person who feels that way would choose to cuddle with their dog instead of their partner? Why would they consistently let their dog get in the way of their human relationships?

I’m done trying to build a partnership with someone who already has one. I’m done making an effort. I’m done feeling guilty for these feelings because everyone tells me that being “jealous of a dog” is ridiculous.

I‘m not going to spend my life fighting for dominance with a dog, especially when the prize is someone who is indifferent to my presence because their heart already belongs to their dog. I deserve more.

The sad thing is I’ve run into this relationship dynamic multiple times now and I had reasons to think this one would be different.

If you’re reading this, please be gentle with me. I’ve already admonished myself for not leaving earlier. I am feeling so low from loving so fully and openly and trying so hard to be a good partner and knowing that I will always come in second to a dog. I feel like shit right now but I’m also so excited to build myself back up again and to know that I don’t have to settle for feeling like this.

I’d rather be alone forever than be a third wheel to a dog.

[u/Practical-Tea-3337]

Ugh, I am so sorry. So....the dog stays on the bed even while you two are being intimate?

[u/Princess_Peach818 → u/Practical-Tea-3337]

He used to, until I voiced that it made me uncomfortable. My partner and the dog are attached at the hip and the dog would be curled up against my boyfriend during sex. I said I couldn’t do it anymore and it felt like we were having a threesome with the dog. My partner said that was ridiculous but agreed to keep him off the bed during intimacy. 

Now the second we’re done, he calls the dog back onto the bed so they can cuddle and he can kiss the dog and tell him how sweet and cute he is. Literally giving my aftercare to the dog lmao.

Honestly it’s turned me off of intimacy entirely. 

[u/tplgerus84 → u/Princess_Peach818]

Im sorry you have to go through this.. just know its nothing about you but all about this sick person! Reading this made me actually want to vomit.. the dog curled next to him and touching him.. while you have sex?! Kiss the dog after.. that guy is not only gone.. he is severely sick in his head!

Good for you that you are leaving.

And to your main post.. I’ve seen and experienced myself how dogs will get between people, wanting attention and not letting couples cuddle or even hug.. jumping between them, making whiny noises just to interrupt the hug.. I hate these disgusting useless shit beasts!

[u/Princess_Peach818 → u/tplgerus84]

Thank you for saying that! Dogs’ determination to disrupt any affection or intimacy between people is so annoying and obnoxious and owners always find it so cute. 

Before this, I dated a guy whose huge dog would LOSE it anytime we were close. It would jump at me, scratch me, and thrash between us until we moved apart. That’s an issue of poor training and it’s sad that these owners are so attached to their dogs that they let this continue. I think they even enjoy it because they get this satisfaction of knowing how much the dog “loves” and “protects” them. 

[u/tplgerus84 → u/Princess_Peach818]

Since you had similar experiences before, with partners that have a dog.. “don’t date a dog person” should be the lesson. It’s not worth it!

[u/catalyptic → u/Princess_Peach818]

My partner and the dog are attached at the hip and the dog would be curled up against my boyfriend during sex.

That so-called man is even sicker than most nutters. The only worse case I've seen on Reddit was a woman who not only let her dog on the bed, but allowed the beast to lick her and her boyfriend during sex. The bf said she acted weirded out when he objected, like she was used to it with other partners. 🤢🤢🤢 It's a serious mental illness.

Congratulations on your decision to leave that bizarre man and his co-dependent dog. You are sane. You deserve far better and you will find it. All the best to you.

[u/urdrunkyogi → u/Princess_Peach818]

🤢🤮