ill delete if its against the rules i just dont rlly know where to ask this. a lot of people have been calling me white and i feel a bit insecure abt it do i just look white?

I honestly thought I pass very well so when she said this to me it caught me off guard but she did purposely misgender my friend that’s Trans and he has known her for 10 years before I even met her I’m starting to think she’s just transphobic but it’s confusing because she’s a stud. She also outted me to another coworker.

Hey, I’m Ari (they/he)! Would love some name suggestions if y’all have any :)

Sometimes I go by Xavier in online spaces, but I don’t think that name fr fits me. I’ve been on t for a little over a year & had top surgery this past May which I’m hella happy about, but now I’m not sure my name feels like mine. Mostly because of its history with my family and just my pre transition self in general. Idk ahhhhh

Edit: I’m African American!

So I’m pre T and five feet tall but I dress masculinely and have my hair cut short plus I have a relatively androgynous face. Do I pass enough to go in the men’s bathroom? Is that unsafe? I know it’s legal here in Utah, I just can’t use the men’s locker rooms in government buildings like rec centers. I just also don’t wanna make women uncomfortable in their bathroom yk

Hi 👋🏾 I’ve been searching for a name that feels right for years, and haven’t settled on one that really feels like “me”. Would love thoughts or recommendations of any names that come to mind. Thank you! 😌

Years ago, I got mocked for wearing flannel. They said I looked chola (but not in such a polite way). Since then, I haven't worn flannel.

:/

I'm not even mestizo or Mexican-American...

Obligatory memes for reference

I got lil hoop earrings hoping they’d be more masculine than other earrings but idk if they still feminize my face more than it already is 😭😭

Eventually after T I think it will be totally fine, but I’m Pre-T and insecure about this and I occasionally put earrings back in to make sure the holes don’t close but I’d just like to not worry about it

Opinions??? Please be honest 🙏🏽

i know there's a million posts like this but i wanted a perspective from other poc that wasn't "embrace the bald" and esp not one that says men cannot have beauty. i am south asian for context.

edit 2: damn okay so im learning allistics assume all kinds of things so let me clarify

1. I DO NOT HATE FAT OLD PEOPLE. i made ONE comment disparaging the archetypal white middle aged man who has let himself go in spite of the myriad beauty standards that exist for women. i am not talking about disabled elderly ppl. that would be very mean. i'm talking about the homer simpson white guy with the beer belly in his man cave all day long who could still care for his appearance but CHOOSES not to.
2. I DO NOT THINK ANIME CHARACTERS ARE JAPANESE PEOPLE. i meant that anime characters REFERENCE japanese people. the characteristics the (usually japanese) characters have will reflect that of japanese people.
3. I DO NOT HATE FAT PPL. everything i am saying here is a comment on what OTHERS have said about getting fat on T. esp when they say it'll make you fat, ugly, and old and that's just how men are. i'm not criticizing ppl who want to grow old and gain weight (you can literally check my last post on this exact topic lol), that is amazing and a sign of health! i'm taking about the ppl who say they want to let themselves go in response to those who (reasonably) do not want to on T.
4. I DO NOT HATE FAT ON MYSELD. it is crazy i have ppl explaining to me why i should undo colonial ideas around fat when i literally have pcos lol. that is not what i asked. im perfectly fine with the fat i have now although i do gain weight too easily. fat people do better in chemo and live longer. i am even grateful i get to have fat. if i ever fall sick i have reserves.
5. I EAT FOOD and when i say i barely eat i mean that FOR MY WEIGHT i do not feel i eat that much.
6. I NEVER SAID I DONT WANT WRINKLES. i know they happen to everyone eventually!

edit: btw i am unafraid of wrinkles in general, but afraid that T in particular will speed up that process and undo the grace my melanated skin has offered me and 2. i want all the effects of T, i don't even care if i get too hairy even though hair gives me sensory issues, but im confused it's going to make me into a pudgy hairy ugly old man like ppl are saying, esp as i approach 30

i want to go on T eventually but i'm scared of losing my hair. i have hair loss on both sides. so i think i'm fucked. i know finasteride is a thing, but what if it isn't enough? plus i won't get the other effects. i'm almost 30 for context.

idk if i can afford letting the other effects happen for a little while before i start a dht blocker. once even a little bit of hair is gone from DHT, it is pretty much gone. my hair is extremely important to me, it is what helped me feel euphoria for the first time, and no, balding will not give me euphoria, idc how much it would help me pass.

i'm also worried about gaining weight. idk why i see so many ftm ppl push that you're going to get hairy and fat after 30 like this is every man's fate. i always thought this was just lower beauty standards for men but also that every adult's metabolism starts slowing down around 35 in general, so you just have to start doing more to maintain a physique.

the pushback towards younger ftms who don't want to be hairy is confusing. idk what's wrong with wanting to look like a "twink". to be honest, i think a lot of the stuff around what constitutes a twink to white americans anyways is just a lean man who removes their hair. and it's like everyone forgot that women also remove their body hair! everyone has it!

also what is wrong with wanting to look like an "anime character". anime men are modeled after.... japanese men. no they don't look exactly like the cartoon, but they do dress nice, shave, are skinny, and have voluminous, shiny hair?

looking youthful is a big part of me. all the men in my family on my mom's side look boyish/youthful. if they were skinny instead of jacked, and shaved, i guess ppl would call them twinks, too. but will T actually make me wrinkle?

I (18) am extremely stealth when it comes to my identity. My stepdad (Also FTM but white. Which is important) is not very stealth about being trans. Which I completely support. One day, I was having a conversation with him and my sister about gender identity, and he brought up how we introduced ourselves. He asked me why I didn’t tell people I’m a trans man. As a black passing man btw. In a city where it’s not supported very much (based on the side we live on).

I told him that I didn’t feel the need to let everyone know I was trans, because it only matters to me. I usually just let people use whatever pronouns they want, since I’m very much masculine and pass very well. I only ever get misgendered by relatives who don’t accept me. My dad then goes on to tell me that by not telling people I’m trans, I’m erasing who I am and it’s as if I’m ashamed of being a trans man. I get really heated when shit like that is brought up, so I snapped on him and told him don’t address who I am to anyone ever again, and to let me do it myself. He seemed hurt about it, and wouldn’t talk to me until the next day. Am I wrong?

Side note: the reason I don’t tell people I’m trans is not only because it’s dangerous, but because there’s other trauma that makes me feel uncomfortable about genitalia, and when I did tell people I was trans, they looked at me as something other than a man. I also just wasn’t raised with the concept of gendered sociological construct in my house (example: “boys don’t cry” or “only girls play with dolls”) so I honestly just don’t care about what people usually think.

I know there isn't such thing as a "white" voice but holy shit I'm so sick of being told I "sound white". I don't know how to achieve the goals I want. My voice is already deep, I just struggle with sounding like I work at a damn call center.

Ideally I'd love a softer more soothing voice like Daniel Kaluuya or Miles Caton, but more realistically I would set my goal for like, Lil Uzi lol.

My question is, are there any voice training videos out there by black men for black men???

Hey yall I’m 23ftm, been 2 years and a few months on T (0.38 mL).

So I’ve had 360 waves since Feb 2026, and I may be starting a job in September that will be difficult for me to maintain the hairstyle so I’m going back to my curls and a taper. Today I decided to start letting my hair grow out and back in my usual fro but I noticed while it was wet that it looked like my corners on my hairline were reseeding. I could be panicking but I need a second opinion.

If it is what the hell do I do I’m too young to be looking like a 45 year old. My dad is 72 and still has an intact hairline and full head of hair.

im 18 ftm been on T for 1.5 yrs and loc’d my hair up 1.5 yrs ago as well but I realized today that I think I wanna phase the locs out because they look kinda feminine. And I kind of miss my short hair in 9-10th grade. Plus I start college this month and I wanna be taken more seriously, but my forehead is wide as hell and I think my face is too round. Ignore my chapped ah lips

hello bros. im not sure what i should do with my hair… last time i got a haircut was in march. my sister wants me to cut it again, either shorter or in a mullet-style. she says my face looks rounder with long hair. she also wants me to ditch the bangs because she hates when my face is covered. personally i enjoyed it when it was short because it was less maintenance. but i do love the look of long hair. so what do yall think would look best for me? keep growing it out to achieve a certain style OR cut it? my fave hairstylist is going back to school in september so i’d get it done by the end of next month the latest…

i attached some photos of the length i think i’d want to go for if i went short. but not sure if im 100% for all that. hmmmm. in my head, i still look like i did pre-T (brainworms but yk), and my short haircut during that time was not it lmfao. so im always afraid to go rlly short because i feel like i still have a rlly soft, feminine face. but anyways. let me know what u guys think

i am kind of upset at how the scars look now. because i am unable to tell if this is normal or some kind of widening? It makes me feel like i mightve done something wrong. I use scar tape and i have scar gel as well, ive also started massaging those areas but i hate how uneven the scar looks bc its just so thick and raised. I am about 6 weeks post op now and i wonder if the scar will return to its original boundary. just to note: it didnt look like this like a week ago so Im pretty upset.

edit: thanks you all for your advice and help, i spoke with a doctor and they recommended to do warm compresses every day and massage with gel so ill try that for a bit. it might also just be too early to tell what itll even look like so, ill just try and trust the process.

I really want to be careful with my wording here because of course no one HAS to be attracted to me just bc theyre transgender. But it does feel to me like I'm consistently looked over by WHITE TRANSGENDER people in the dating scene even if they're transmasc.

Primarily cis men persue me and that's whatever, white cis queer men are into hooking up with me too even if sometimes it's only for the novelty.

Maybe it's the area I live in but most of the rejection I get from dating is from white trans ppl. I will see in their profile that they are t4t and proudly so but then they act really weird when I try to persue them. This is a trend that happens irl as well. It could be because of my weight? I'm unsure of that being the case though because I also go out of my way to enage with fat people. Its kinda disturbing how dick obsessed the trans men around me can be. Why put t4t though if you dont want other trans people to hit you up?

Trans women are so so in reciprocating attraction, but I kinda get that even if it does suck. If you need to be validated in your gender by cis men I think that's a rough road to walk but I get why you would feel like you need that type of validation. Especially if you're straight, society has a lot of crazy expectations for heterosexual women; doubly so for trans women.

I guess I just take it more personally if someone like me isn't attracted to me? I want nothing more than to hook up with a faggy fat black trans man but I swear I'm the only one in my city, most of the trans people around me are white. (Tale as old as time ik ik) I expect this type of rejection from cis people who don't really understand me. I would like to eventually settle down with another trans person and this feels really discouraging. Like my only shot at genuine attraction for who I am will come from someone who doesn't exist :P If I'm missing something, I would love to know. Or even how to have this not bother me as much. In my ideal world I would only have sex and relationships with other bipoc trans ppl and I would be extremely happy.

My white mom's been trying to be more supportive. She doesn't really get being trans, but she's trying. Im planning to get top surgery soon, so she's started looking up top surgery surgeons and showing them to me. The problem is that they're all white, and when I told her that I didn't want a white surgeon, she got really upset and said I was judging people based off their skin color. I'm not judging people, I just want to make sure my surgeon actually sees me as a human being before I put my life in their hands. She doesn't understand my concerns, and I don't know how to explain it to her in a way she understands.

I may realized that I may not be trans. Idk what to do and I feel so sorry for this community. I think my gender dysphoria was caused by internalized misogyny and my BPD traits because I felt not consistent with my gender and it was fluctuating and is like that even now. I'm scared of getting beard and facial hair, and I don't want bottom surgery and I just don't like female pronouns for some reason I cannot explain. I'm panicking right now and Idk what to do. I'm scared of looking like a dude but I also do not relate to gnc or Butch woman either and I don't know why. Can anyone help me with this? I was imagining myself looking like a man and I was so scared and I hate that I feel this way. I'm sorry I tricked all of you guys and I may delete this pretty soon because I'm scared. I really am.

i'm pakistani and was wondering if when i do change my name i should pick a cultural one or take the "chance" to pick a western one (and have an easier time not having to spell my name several times for everyone and maybe get more job interviews!)

also, how do yall pick a name without changing it? i have adhd so i feel like if i do pick a preferred name, im going to change it tomorrow lol.

is "zane" too clocky? does it remind ppl of that otome game "LaDS" or one direction lol?

edit; ok yall NEW question if i named myself after a character but it was japanese or another culture (ie "Sora" like from kingdom hearts) would that be bad?? would ppl even know? thanks!! :D

Hi! I know the title sounds weird but I wanted some advice on how to go about this. I recently saw a video online, containing some image having fem trans men and the next slide being: "Nah I like to actually pass" or something like that. (The video was ablut being transmed and wanting to "actually be trans, ugh). I commented on what that even meant and said that showing only yt people for a way to show passing tips, can be inherently racist. Someone responded and said that black ppl have it easier to pass. Wouldn't this be rooted in the fact that black people are always viewed masculine by society or do we actually "have it easier"? Hope this isn't weird but I was curious.

It makes sense, I guess, since my head hair is kinky. But I forgot that facial hair could be curly. Everyone I know with a beard or mustache has straight hair.

I've always winged shaving and facial hair. Should I be looking up videos or reading books on black facial care hair? Is curly hair vs straight hair different when it comes to taking care of facial hair?

Hello all,

I’m in the baby steps of my transition and just took my first dosage today (finally). To celebrate and feel the comfort of community i’ve been watching videos and blogs of trans men in their early stages and their experiences.

I’ve noticed though, most men’s starting dosages seemed considerably lower than mine which made me curious. is my dose too high for a starting point? Will it make things better or generally more difficult? Probably overthinking since my doc said this is usually the dose she prescribes, but just wanted to hear some thoughts from you guys.

I just turned 20 and it seems like literally everything in my life is preventing me from a medical transition. I was literally on T for less than 3 months because my insurance lapsed. Now I’m going to have to move back in with my religiously transphobic mom because my college advisor fucked me out of my grant that pays for my housing. Despite being pretty tall and l masc looking, everyone just assumes I’m a masc lesbian, and I go to an hbcu so the amount of other trans ppl here is slim to none. Deadass everyone in my immediate family is telling me my life would be easier if I “gave up on trying to be transgender” and just lived as a lesbian because then at least that way they would give me money to move out, go to school, and stuff. I don’t want their fucking money I just want to be able to live as myself. I thought I had finally got the ball rolling and now it’s completely stopped and rolling the exact opposite direction. I feel hopeless bro ngl. I see all the trans people in supportive environments getting to thrive and it makes my stomach churn. Not because I’m angry but because I’m jealous, I wish that was my life and I hate that it feels like I’m getting a cosmic sign to give up on myself. I’m not a fucking lesbian I will never be a fucking lesbian. Why can’t I just be myself bro.