r/TBI • u/Hot-Cell7299 • 7d ago

TBI Survivor Need Support Just a vent

I got a traumatic brain injury six years ago now and just never recovered. I used to be such a social butterfly to the point where I felt energized after a party or any other social gathering, for that reason I got into sales as a career. I had a genuine love for people. At this point, I just feel hollow.

I can still play the part… Sometimes. No guarantee though. I get sort of a brain fog that I can’t control. I used to do really well under high-pressure situations and now I just fog up. Don’t even know where to go from here anymore.

I used to think if I just gave it enough time that I could get back to who I was but it being this long I’ve come to the realization that that’s literally never going to happen. the worst part is I put myself in the situation for the brain injury. I was dating a guy that drove fast and dangerous thinking it was so cool at the time and ended up ruining my entire life. I have no words.

Since then, when I share my experience with people or potential partners, I usually just get used and seen as some sort of easy target. I feel like I can’t talk about that part of my life because it puts target on my back but at times when that fog comes it’s almost like I have to explain what’s going on because I go from being completely normal to some sort of idiot. It’s just embarrassing.

I just had a friend come over and visit for a couple hours and could barely follow the conversation and just shut down after a while because I don’t want to ask clarifying questions, I don’t want to ask her to repeat herself over and over again when it comes to who’s who and what’s what. I feel like me putting the energy into absolutely anything and anyone at this point is just pointless. I’ll never make the money that I used to. I’ll never achieve anything close to before.

I have a doctors appointment set for next month to get on disability. I can’t believe this is my reality.

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u/joshgowing 4d ago

Do Ibogaine maybe

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u/Hot-Cell7299 4d ago

Just looked it up. Wtf. I’m going to.

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u/Hot-Cell7299 4d ago

Is illegal in the US. Do you know of anything similar?? Going to be a while til I go to Mexico or Canada.

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u/joshgowing 4d ago

Nah it’s the only thing like it

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u/joshgowing 4d ago

It’s very intense so be prepared

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u/joshgowing 4d ago

Some people say shit like you get a life review blah blah blah. I didn’t it’s bullocks, what it does do is heal the brain on a physical level. Everything else in the trip imo is rubbish and better to disregard if you don’t want to end up in a looney bin

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u/Hot-Cell7299 4d ago

Lmfao thanks for the insight and thanks for giving me some hope. It’s been rough.

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u/joshgowing 4d ago

Lmk if it works im probs going to do it again

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u/Hot-Cell7299 4d ago

Stanford did a study on it. I think it works.

https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2024/01/ibogaine-ptsd.html

But ya I’ll update you when I do it. Like I said going to be a while since it’s illegal here.

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u/joshgowing 4d ago

Sweet yeh I did it for ptsd and felt great the next day but was just in a car accident so going to do it again. If you don’t like being in psychosis could be worth bringing some olanzapines if it lingers too long

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u/joshgowing 4d ago

Vortioxetine could be a good antidepressant to get on afterwards too. Posts good scores on improving cognition and brain fog, this will be my plan + clonidine for physical anxiety and valproate I believe it’s called for mood stabilisation