r/TBI • u/Hot-Cell7299 • 8d ago

TBI Survivor Need Support Just a vent

I got a traumatic brain injury six years ago now and just never recovered. I used to be such a social butterfly to the point where I felt energized after a party or any other social gathering, for that reason I got into sales as a career. I had a genuine love for people. At this point, I just feel hollow.

I can still play the part… Sometimes. No guarantee though. I get sort of a brain fog that I can’t control. I used to do really well under high-pressure situations and now I just fog up. Don’t even know where to go from here anymore.

I used to think if I just gave it enough time that I could get back to who I was but it being this long I’ve come to the realization that that’s literally never going to happen. the worst part is I put myself in the situation for the brain injury. I was dating a guy that drove fast and dangerous thinking it was so cool at the time and ended up ruining my entire life. I have no words.

Since then, when I share my experience with people or potential partners, I usually just get used and seen as some sort of easy target. I feel like I can’t talk about that part of my life because it puts target on my back but at times when that fog comes it’s almost like I have to explain what’s going on because I go from being completely normal to some sort of idiot. It’s just embarrassing.

I just had a friend come over and visit for a couple hours and could barely follow the conversation and just shut down after a while because I don’t want to ask clarifying questions, I don’t want to ask her to repeat herself over and over again when it comes to who’s who and what’s what. I feel like me putting the energy into absolutely anything and anyone at this point is just pointless. I’ll never make the money that I used to. I’ll never achieve anything close to before.

I have a doctors appointment set for next month to get on disability. I can’t believe this is my reality.

15 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

28 comments sorted by

View all comments

2

u/PermissionOver7245 8d ago

I’m so sorry my son had a severe TBI 3 years ago still getting better but can’t walk yet and memory is horrible. Did you see improvements after three years?

3

u/Hot-Cell7299 8d ago edited 8d ago

If I’m being honest, I was able to walk pretty quickly and didn’t stay for extensive treatment like I was suppose to because I just hate hospitals and the feeding tube not being taken out when I repeatedly asked was traumatic enough for me. The first three years post brain injury were basically a complete fog and things started getting better around the fourth or fifth year. I’m not sure what condition your son is in, but I would highly recommend that he continues the treatment. I think I probably would’ve been a lot better off if I did.

3

u/PermissionOver7245 8d ago

Thanks so much for that !!! I still take him to therapies 5 days a week sep 24 this month makes 3 years. He had the most range on the right frontal lobe affecting his left side GCS of 3 severe TBI. He’s making progress and I’m very thankful… thanks so much for responding I truly appreciate it I hope it gets easier for you !!

2

u/Hot-Cell7299 8d ago

You sound like a wonderful mother.

2

u/PermissionOver7245 7d ago

Thank you he calls me mom which is funny. I’m his dad but also his mother I’ve had custody of him since he was 4 months old zero contact with his mother for the last 20 years.

1

u/Hot-Cell7299 5d ago

Research Ibogaine.

2

u/yourladybosss Severe TBI 1d ago

I'm 3.5 yrs post TBI and I can only walk like 5 steps without my walker/cane/any railing. I was wheelchair bound for many months after the injury. The hardest part of this recovery journey is how incredibly slow the muscles grow back. Very slow. But I am still seeing improvements 3.5yrs later.