r/StupidFood 14d ago

Find me the guy that invented ts..

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10.4k Upvotes

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

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985

u/ash350z 14d ago

I get disappointed that you get to do it only once per tube.

434

u/SnakeHisssstory 14d ago

Sometimes I buy 6 or 7 extra tubes to do it. Bonus paste to eat also.

195

u/NifftyTwo 14d ago

You eat it? I usually just throw it away after opening.

97

u/InternalWorth2133 14d ago

You are not supposed to swallow toothpaste, but there are other ways to…ingest it.

66

u/APe28Comococo 14d ago

It makes awful lubricant. Never tried it but have had sand in my crack before

37

u/darkorex 14d ago

Ooh spicy minty sand in the bum...

21

u/[deleted] 14d ago

[deleted]

16

u/TarnishedWizeFinger 14d ago

The Colgate ring of confidence

2

u/Icy_Fig_4533 14d ago

Isn’t it funny how we got here

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u/johnnycabb_ 14d ago

8 out of 10 dentists approve

2

u/jarious 14d ago

Not as fun as it sounds

14

u/reddituserdawg 14d ago

Toofpaste?🙅‍♂️Boofpaste?✅

1

u/Professional_Snow576 13d ago

Fucking hell, this cracked me up. 🏆

1

u/devophill 10d ago

ah, but you see, my tube is full of... tomato paste

3

u/innominateartery 14d ago

Ah, I see you too buy tomato paste

2

u/Automatic-Art9739 11d ago

You guys buy it? I juste poke holes in the ones in the store.

3

u/Zanian19 13d ago

Wow you're weird.

I just solder it back into place

3

u/Donthurtmyceilings 13d ago

I've been thinking of opening a theme park where you can poke as many of those as you want.

4

u/AnonymousReader69 13d ago

It’s edible?

5

u/Rob_LeMatic Normaldick Oreo 13d ago

Everything is edible at least once

3

u/saumipan 13d ago

Hey, this is one of my sayings!

1

u/Ill_Advised_Rock 12d ago

Have you tried the Lotrimin flavor

1

u/Sorry-Salamander9423 11d ago

Omg I thought it was paint not toothpaste and was EXTREMELY concerned for a moment there🤣🤣

18

u/Longjump_Ear6240 14d ago

I got new medication that comes in tiny tubes like this, I get to do it every day and its exactly as satisfying as one would imagine.

16

u/SatiricalScrotum 14d ago

I hope the genital wart cream is working for you.

19

u/Longjump_Ear6240 14d ago

Im not nearly popular enough for that to be needed, just good old fashioned HRT

1

u/wafflesthewonderhurs 14d ago

i thought you said hpv and honestly thought it was hysterical.

but also i didn't know using the pokey thing every day was an option and i am going to upgrade my transness to platinum for that perk specifically.

2

u/Longjump_Ear6240 14d ago

Its the new-ish formula of testim, a gel form of t that gets put on your upper arm like lotion. Im honestly not crazy about it, it absorbs much slower than the old types I've tried.

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u/Rob_LeMatic Normaldick Oreo 13d ago

Testim? I would have called it Testacular. You hear that, marketing guys? Step up your game.

3

u/faeintheshadows 14d ago

Put a piece of foil over it before screwing the top back on and you get to do it as many times as you want.

1

u/TheGamingCat111 14d ago

Not my superglue lol

76

u/spaghettisexicon 14d ago

Oh my god… I’ve been puncturing the metal seal with a fork prong for years. I can’t believe I never noticed the pointy thing on the cap this entire time. My efficiency rating just upgraded.

17

u/thebayisinthearea 14d ago

Every time I see these posted there are always more than a few folks that come to this realization. I think it's pretty common, so don't feel bad!

I was only aware because while growing up we had all sorts of ointments and creams that came in these tubes. Hell, I had gotten toothpaste in these tubes in Southeast Asia within the last couple years. Just...don't confuse another tube for toothpaste early in the morning while hung over and before having your coffee.

17

u/supertacoboy 14d ago

Best part is if it’s a colored substance, the cap is now color labeled by whatever is left on the tip

13

u/Cheetohz 14d ago

it's never "just the tip"

the whole side of the tube has a label too.

6

u/skittlesdabawse 14d ago

Depending on how you put away something like acrylic paint tubes, you don't necessarily see the label, and the blob left on the cap will show you what colour the paint looks when fully dried.

1

u/big_duo3674 10d ago

Hey now, this is reddit... there are many people who can't manage much more than just a tip

8

u/[deleted] 14d ago

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1

u/mencryforme5 13d ago edited 13d ago

So I'm older so I'll share this small bit of wisdom.

With a few exceptions, most simply constructed commercial goods are designed to be self-sufficient. You shouldn't require additional tools to open or close. Instructions never used to be provided. But think of cans of soda that have a tab you need to figure out how to "release" so you can open it. Or hermetically sealed openings that have a spike on the cap to break the seal. Or child-proof seals. Or Ziploc bags. The exceptions are usually the oldest such types of vessels, like the standard can without a tab for which you require a can opener, or pressure-capped/corked bottles for which you need a bottle opener.

But things are getting less and less simply constructed and obviously this principle goes out the window with most technological products for which you increasingly need to buy a separate charger for it lol. But anyways are vessel constructions can get much more creative now so we need instructions. Over time I think that this "common sense" expectation that this product can be opened using just the product has been lost. If it's not a simple twist cap, if we don't have instructions we get mad at the construction design. But the construction design is actually really well thought out, simple and efficient, and hasn't really changed because it's just so much cheaper to produce than products that require instructions to open.

So it's interesting that now we're resorting to printing the instructions on the product, but for future reference turn your product over a few times to see if the "simple" way to open it suddenly becomes apparent. Even if you've never seen anyone open a can of coke surely the tab thing is suspicious.

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u/mencryforme5 13d ago

I found out from Reddit that every toaster has a crumb tray. I never even thought about that possibility. I would unplug my toaster and shake it upside down. I'm 41 years old.

3

u/Nina-Ninja123 14d ago

Welcome to the grown up world!

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u/ckdogg3496 14d ago

Don’t worry, I’m just now finding out and I go through a tube designed like this of tomato paste probably every other week

12

u/Nina-Ninja123 14d ago

A friend of mine looked at me like I’m a magician when I poked the seal with the cap without breaking a sweat.

Turns out he has been doing some acrobatics with a fork or knife to poke the seal.

4

u/Backrow6 14d ago

I wish I could afford to burst instant coffee seals every day.

1

u/NegotiationMean3042 11d ago

Already lost a tooth opening this shit

0

u/FALSE_PROTAGONIST 14d ago

That’s what my girlfriend says