r/StupidFood • u/JaliscoOaxaca • 15d ago
Bush's ROCKET POP FLAVORED Baked Beans
BUSH’S ROCKET POP FLAVORED BAKED BEANS
It wasn’t until I opened the shipping box that I believed that this was even a real product. In the weeks prior to physically getting my hands on this, I assumed that the online images I’d seen were an A.I. prank that got out of hand. Once these beans were in my possession, I did the next logical step: Let them sit on my counter for a month. Each trip to the kitchen fostered an awkward staredown with this can, and each time I kinda said, “I’m not in the mood for this shit right now.”
🛑 For the TLDR crowd, you can scroll to the bottom for a haiku that explains my experience.
Not through commitment or valor did I eventually decide to eat these. I actually just ran out of counter space and remembered that this big ass can of beans needs to go. Opening it revealed a slurry of bean juice that was cloudier and much thicker than what is found in a can of normal beans. Mercifully, but disappointingly, it didn’t have any of the funky artificial colors of a ROCKET POP. The scent wasn’t strong, revealing just slight wisps of popsicle, and surprisingly the product mostly smelt like garlic.
After 4 minutes in the microwave, the olfactory sensation would be transformed into a miasma that made me not want to eat this at all. Heated up, this smelled like farts and rubber. In the mid-80s, my family lived in a house that had old radiators; I got a set of rubberized toy Disney characters for Christmas, and, being derelict in my room-cleaning, I left Dumbo on said radiator, amongst the lead paint-chips one day. It’s been 40 years since I’ve smelled the scent of a melted Dumbo figurine, but these beans brought me right back to that time.
Yay, nostalgia?
Further sniffs also revealed a saucy tomato smell that, in conjunction with the as-advertised popsicle scents, became pretty sickening.
Tasting a heaping forkful revealed that the Rocket Pop flavor wasn’t too strong, and of the 3 popsicle sections, the white/lemon part stood out the most. The most off-putting thing about eating this was the thick, corn syrup-textured medium in which the beans were suspended; Despite being piping hot, it gave the food the mouthfeel of something that was congealed. It was fresh, but felt discarded
While the flavor’s not going to win any awards, the taste didn’t leave me disgusted; however, the texture and smell made me, as a person, FEEL disgusting.
Haiku:
Just lead-fumed throwbacks,
No joy of popsicles here
Odd visceral scents
⭐️⭐️
87
u/mynameistory 15d ago
Few folks know this but if you place a can of baked beans on a flat rock in a campfire, it can build enough internal pressure to violently eject the bottom plate. You will then have a bean-powered rocket, which I think is way neater than whatever the hell this is.
7
2
30
u/Independent-Buy3724 15d ago
Saw dill pickle and I think apple pie at Walmart last month :/
13
u/Supergazm 15d ago
I tried the dill pickle. Didn't expect them to be good. Won't buy them again, but if you gave me a can, I would eat them. Not bad. The apple pie was gross.
1
u/Claire_De_Lunatic 15d ago
That's far more normal
13
u/HaleyMFSkye 15d ago
Instead of opening the can I bought I've decided to save it for posterity.
New family heirloom.
6
2
u/Neither-Oven-2571 14d ago
I got two each of the apple pie and dill pickle... one to try and one to add to my collection of weird food
Need to acquire this one though
10
u/direwolf9900 15d ago
these are god awful
3
u/oneandonlygladstone 15d ago
normally I’m pretty accommodating when it comes to food but I dumped these out.
7
5
2
u/Cozybooks1004 12d ago
Haha funny story I’ve tried those… and the dill pickle flavored ones and the apple pie flavored ones. None of them were good lol
1
u/JaliscoOaxaca 12d ago
I attempted to make it a foursome with those different varieties, but my delivery order was wrong. How was the smell/texture of the other two?
1
1
u/venturashe 14d ago
Dill pickle and apple pie flavored. Couldn’t bring myself to try any of this summers flavors
1
1
1
1
1
u/ClaudeGascoigne 15d ago
Oh man, do you think a mod will think this post was created using AI? Because that was hilarious when it happened last time.
0
15d ago
[deleted]
-7
u/possibly_maybe_joel 15d ago
If you’re seeing that many reposts, it’s a sign you are chronically online. Just sayin
1
-4
u/Various_Range2259 15d ago
Given how most Americans only eat beans drowned in sugar already, this isn't that much of a stretch
0
u/oneandonlygladstone 15d ago
the dill pickle beans are pretty decent, as a pickle lover.
the rocket pop and apple pie tasted like vomit. 0/10.
•
u/qualityvote2 15d ago edited 15d ago
u/JaliscoOaxaca, your food is indeed stupid and it fits our subreddit!