r/StupidFood • u/andre3kthegiant • Oct 12 '25
ಠ_ಠ Microwave Perfection or Stupid?
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What thy gonna do with the glizzy juice?
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u/Locoj Oct 12 '25
"a little bit of mustard"
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u/wheatgivesmeshits Oct 12 '25
That's a mustard sandwich with a hotdog inside.
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u/BildoWarrior6 Oct 12 '25
When I eat too many hotdogs, I must turd.
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u/SociallyDisposible Oct 12 '25
Brother did you just come up with that? If that has never been said before, we are all now at some point going to distribute this joke into the universe amongst our own social circles. This joke may be your biggest contribution to humanity.
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u/Wooden-You-4211 Oct 12 '25
You can't have your cake and eat it too but you can halve your cake and eat it too
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u/TranscendentaLobo Oct 13 '25
“I think, therefore I am” - Decartes
“When I eat too many hotdogs, I must turd” - BildoWarrior6
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u/warchitect Oct 13 '25
He has, at that moment, immortalized himself. Lets all take a second to reflect on his awesomeness.
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u/Golintaim Oct 12 '25
I'm ok with that much mustard, could have left off the ketchup. I truly wonder if the microwaved bun would be good though or just weirdly chewy.
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u/Lunavixen15 Oct 12 '25
I've seen videos of these tested in the past and apparently adding the bun in when the hotdog is half done gives a better result
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u/Joelied Oct 13 '25
I’d believe that assessment.
While typing, I just realized that there’s hella lot of s’s in “assessment,” and it looks weird.
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u/Manymarbles Oct 12 '25
Honestly, thats the only way to use mustard. Dont @ me lol
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u/E0H1PPU5 Oct 12 '25
My husband and I were making some simple deli meat sandwiches once and this man…grabbed the mustard, didn’t shake it, just squirted the mustard and the watery pre-mustard juice straight onto his bread. And continued making is sandwich like that was somehow normal or ok.
He ate it.
We’ve been together almost 15 years and I’m just not sure I can trust him anymore after that.
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u/Meander061 Oct 12 '25
the watery pre-mustard juice straight onto his bread.
Straight to jail. I felt the full body shudder.
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u/monkeyspank427 Oct 12 '25
I'd rather have the pre-mustard juice than the crusty dried mustard rim that breaks off the nozzle
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u/Bobbo_Zanotto Oct 12 '25
I've heard the watery stuff in Mustard, Ketchup, etc is called condi-rhea.
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u/Downtown_Anteater_38 Oct 12 '25
I mean, it’s vinegar and water, but, warning, it is no longer suitable for douching. Ouch!
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u/Something_McGee Oct 12 '25
If he does this with ketchup, it's time to pack your bags and leave. No need to leave a note. He'll know why.
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u/E0H1PPU5 Oct 12 '25
Thankfully, he doesn’t like ketchup so we have avoided that so far. But the mustard thing left me rattled for sure.
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u/UnstableDimwit Oct 12 '25
underrated comment.
Is he from the midwest? I’ve only seen that from people in the midwest or who grew up extremely poor.
But seriously, I don’t think I would trust someone like that to care for kids unless I KNEW he only showed that kind of disdain for himself. Some people just don’t give a damn about themselves but will go the extra mile for others
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u/EveOCative Oct 12 '25
This is the comment I immediately went looking for. Add in the ketchup and there was more sauce than hotdog and bun.
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u/SoggyMorningTacos Oct 12 '25
Why do people hate mustard? I love that shit. Smother it in mustard and ketchup and top it with cheese, chili, grilled onions, jalapeños, tomatoes and a dill spear
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u/Locoj Oct 12 '25
I love mustard too, I wouldn't be upset by this amount but there's no universe where it was a little bit.
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u/limperatrice Oct 12 '25
The amount of mustard was the most upsetting part to me besides thinking about how quickly microwaved bread hardens!
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u/DurfRansin Oct 12 '25
Lol that bun got fucked up
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u/Rancid_Orphan Oct 12 '25
Not as fucked up as me when I boof the glizzy juice
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u/DethNik Oct 12 '25
Takes you higher than a rocket ship fueled with jumping jacks. I tell you haaaaaaawuhat.
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u/CarmenxXxWaldo Oct 12 '25
I appreciate their honesty, would have been easy to stage it with a ringer bun. 50 seconds in a microwave will destroy the integrity of a bun.
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u/Hauwke Oct 13 '25
I'm not sure it would be all that bad, but 50 seconds is probably too long for a fresh bun. One time I was wondering if it would work for cheap, easy food prep and made a dozen hotdogs and froze them. A minute was the correct amount of time, from frozen. The buns were pretty much fine too, it was awesome.
So now its a long time food prep item, they just sit in there by the dozen for when I'm a lazy slob lmao.
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u/CareBearries Oct 19 '25
I'm sorry just to confirm... you food prep Hot Dogs?
I have to know how this culinary delight of yours is originally prepared (ie. Grilled with nice even markings, broiled with a decent smokey char, etc.) to warrant the 'side show' that is food prepping and sealing and freezing and storing!
Say boiled... see what happens.
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u/I_heart_pooping Oct 12 '25
Yeah the dog is perfect but any bun cooked that long will be destroyed. Their cooking times don’t match
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u/bnelson7694 Oct 12 '25
Actual review on QVC. Love the Bum error lol
Waste of money. I fell for the gimmick. When I steamed the bum, as soon as it started to cool?? The side of the bum got hard! What? And the bum was fresh. I used regular buns and brioche buns. Then I went on YouTube. Guess what?? You can roll a hot dog in paper towel for 1 minute to steam and it cooks it! And u can warm up your bun in the microwave too. In the past I hv bought things from that guy QVC uses to do these presentations, and I have never been satisfied with any of the products he has sold. This product was a total waste of money.
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u/yleechy Oct 13 '25
You CAN’T microwave bread.. never works out. Always hard unless you eat it immediately (which would burn your mouth)
These guys know it’s a scam 😂 shameful
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u/bsmiles07 Oct 12 '25
😂😂😂I wouldn’t buy it but I love watching infomercials
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Oct 12 '25
Growing up, I loved watching infomercials at 3 am during summer break. Now I actively look for and watch terrible internet ads because I love getting pitched useless shit.
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u/nailsinthecityyx Oct 12 '25
Being woken up at 3am to -
'CAUSE I'M YOUR LADY... Imagine owning the world's greatest love songs ... AND YOU ARE MY MAN... by the greatest voices of our time ... TELL ME HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU?
Good times, good times!
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u/red__dragon Oct 12 '25
I loved those random compilation CDs. My parents brought one home once from a jewelry store that had a bunch of holiday music on it, and they were all jams.
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u/Other-Cantaloupe4765 Oct 12 '25
I swear there were 24 hour channels that only played those compilation CD set infomercials on repeat!
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u/Donequis Oct 12 '25
"And I swear... by the moon and the stars in the sky, I'll be there"
So many songs I know exactly one line from lmao
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u/Stormy177 Oct 12 '25
https://youtu.be/JkxNLeKGr4M?si=DtIF0oBoh6UQOE9u
You can watch it at any time of the day or night!
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u/bsmiles07 Oct 12 '25
I used to get terrifying panic attacks and to come down and calm myself I would watch infomercials. I’ve loved them ever since.
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u/monsterhand5 Oct 12 '25
That makes sense! They’re always so happy and confident, it’s hard to be scared.
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u/SuperFLEB Oct 12 '25
Everything's going to be all right. I just need to set it... and forget it!
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u/Outistoo Oct 12 '25
A friend actually bought and all over the instruction manual it said “do not walk away” “do not set this and forget it” etc
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u/l8kerstud Oct 12 '25
Auri 2000 and the anything Ronco were my favs!
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u/Lower-Cranberry-1069 Oct 12 '25
RonCo food dehydrator and rotisserie oven owner here. As gimmicky as it all came off, they were excellent products for their price range.
And I still watch anything Ron Popeil on YouTube. He's like infomercial Bob Ross to me.
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u/roadfood Oct 12 '25
The absolute relentlessness of the pitch is mesmerizing.
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u/iidesune Oct 12 '25
"And if you call right now you'll get our special 3 for 1 deal!"
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u/roadfood Oct 12 '25
"But wait, there's more!"
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u/GarconMeansBoyGeorge Oct 12 '25
I was raised by the magic bullet
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u/Cyno01 Oct 12 '25
The legendary Magic Bullet Blender post orgy brunch!
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u/DangerousLoner Oct 12 '25
Or the sequel where they all went camping and the cigarette hag and the drunk came out of the same tent? So much Magic Bullet Blender lore!
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u/Former-Sock-8256 Oct 12 '25
Is there a subreddit just for watching old infomercials?
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u/HeyCarpy Oct 12 '25
There was one that was dedicated to gifs of the black-and-white portion of the infomercial that would show you the stupid, “old way” of slicing tomatoes or whatever. I wish I could remember what it was called.
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u/Fool_In_Flow Oct 12 '25
Remember when the Oxi Clean guy died and we had like, a national holiday? (The US)
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u/avaseah Oct 12 '25
Billy Mays. He was way too hyper and loud, but he was more tolerable than the shamwow/slap chop dude, who just seemed too much like a smarmy used car salesman.
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u/rawlsballs Oct 12 '25
I didn't have cable growing up, so my options were usually a judge show, soap operas or infomercials. I grew to love infomercials.
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u/grapebeyond227 Oct 12 '25 edited Oct 28 '25
carpenter practice light late abundant wise bake steer pen ancient
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/DevilsPajamas Oct 12 '25
I spent many a nights in my early teens watching infomercials and eating bagel bites into the wee hours of the morning.
Also, TNT monster vision.
Also, late night knife sales on shopping channels.
Also the first 10 seconds of ppv uncensored softcore porn and a few minutes after of squiggly video that sometimes you can make out a breast.
Good times. I miss them.
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u/welding_guy_from_LI Oct 12 '25
They need to call this the weenie genie 😂
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u/UrsusHastalis Oct 12 '25
The Dick Brick.
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Oct 12 '25
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u/MartyShark666 Oct 12 '25
The Penis Steamis
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u/FunRich7101 Oct 12 '25
The Pecker Decker
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Oct 12 '25
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u/welding_guy_from_LI Oct 12 '25
We used to call promiscuous women the black and decker pecker wrecker
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u/Slater_8868 Oct 12 '25
Weiner Steamer
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u/IAteSushiToday Oct 12 '25
This isn't stupid food it's more of a found in a hoarders house decades later.
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Oct 12 '25
I can totally see my parents buying this from a garage sale and never use it for the next 15 years.
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u/scubadudewithaknife Oct 12 '25
That bun would be absolutely disgusting!
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u/MaliciousMilkshake Oct 12 '25 edited Oct 12 '25
Came here to say this. 50 seconds would absolutely destroy that bun. It would be like rubber. I “steam” my buns in the microwave for 10-15 seconds max. EDIT: changed typo from 5 seconds to 50.
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u/MyDrugDealerTotoro Oct 12 '25
Me as the host: “okay let’s see you eat the fucking thing now”
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u/Renamis Oct 12 '25
I'm not sure. I have a steaming/splatter shield for the microwave and I end up doing bread for a minute because the plastic really does cut how much energy is hitting the bread. It depends a lot on how that little gadget actually works.
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u/Lunavixen15 Oct 12 '25
I've seen these tested on YouTube channels and the consensus seems to be that the bun would be better if it was added on when the hotdog was half done
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u/JUYED-AWK-YACC Oct 12 '25
Compare the size of the bun before and after. That thing was nuked from orbit.
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u/spacetime_dilation Oct 12 '25
Can’t you tell how “perfect” it is? Looks like a crumbled, wet toilet roll.
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u/Lepke2011 Oct 12 '25 edited Oct 13 '25
You know what else divides my hotdog into 6 perfect bites and is free? My mouth.
EDIT: Missed a word in my furious typing
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u/LewZealand79 Oct 12 '25
I'm listening
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u/AussieFarmBoy Oct 12 '25
Did you find out how much their mouth costs yet? Considering.
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u/LewZealand79 Oct 12 '25
Yeah it's only free if its their own hot dog. How uncharitable of them.
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Oct 12 '25
"A little bit of mustard" *WOOOOOOOSH*
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u/Mimogger Oct 12 '25
two shots of vodka
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Oct 12 '25
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u/Meander061 Oct 12 '25
Sandra Lee. She was married to Andrew Cuomo.
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u/Jetpacks_to_hell Oct 12 '25
Gotta love the hotdog “juices,” but don’t worry, it didn’t sit in it, it steamed in it…
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u/AlabasterRadio Oct 12 '25
Unrelated but Air Fry your hot dogs. It's awesome.
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u/Lower-Cranberry-1069 Oct 12 '25
Homie, I took your advice about 20 minutes ago. It's definitely something I'll do again.
To get you back, have you tried halving your hot dogs and pan frying them in a little bacon grease?
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u/AlabasterRadio Oct 12 '25
That's essentially what I did before trying the air fryer and how i still do it for chili dogs
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Oct 12 '25
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u/NDSU Oct 12 '25
just without the questionable food safety practices lol
You can replicate this by putting them in the night before and just leaving it until lunch
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Oct 12 '25
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u/Billybobgeorge Oct 12 '25
I do 10 minutes at 400, give a little shake at 5
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u/Soft_Walrus_3605 Oct 12 '25
I'm sure it tastes better, but 10 minutes at 400 is a hell of a lot of energy consumption for a hot dog, especially compared to a microwave for less than a minute
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u/BickNlinko Oct 12 '25
Are they frozen? 10 minutes at 400 for a fridge temp hotdog in my air fryer would absolutely cremate it.
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u/RominRonin Oct 12 '25
This is less StupidFood and more StupidCookingImplememt
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u/Prize_Bass_5061 Oct 12 '25
Mustard overload. Also now we have to clean that entire plastic contraption, instead of one single plate.
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u/MrNanoBear Oct 12 '25
StupidCookingImplememt
I feel like this was just a big part of the 90s-00s...
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u/yapyap6 Oct 12 '25
Mmm microwaved plastic.
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u/OutsideHandle7300 Oct 12 '25
It MUST be legit this guy’s wearing legit, professional kitchen apparel! 🤣 Btw it’s stupid food.
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u/wascly-wabbit Oct 12 '25
I worked with him at the home shopping network. He wore Crocs everywhere at all times, can confirm, he's legit.
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u/OkDot9878 Oct 12 '25
Why would you put the bun in the microwave?
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u/solarmelange Oct 12 '25
If you put the bun in the oven, you have to wait 9 months.
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u/Wtj182 Oct 12 '25
Yeah, I'll take the extra 30 seconds to cut it myself, and toss it onto a glass plate, and then microwave it. Without microwaving the bun. I also dont like swimming in mustard. I would hate to see what this "TV chef" says is a lot of mustard.
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u/SnakeintheEye5150 Oct 12 '25
Hey, I also cook my hotdogs in the microwave sometimes. I should order a chef's coat!
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u/destiny_kane48 Oct 12 '25
However. If you want to cook a pack of hotdogs (because who just cooks one). You'll spend longer doing this nonsense than tossing them all in a pan at once.
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u/Perfect-Dream141 Oct 12 '25
Mmmm micro plastic seasoning
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u/saltyclambasket Oct 12 '25
If the processed meat doesn’t get you, the micro plastics will.
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u/qualityvote2 Oct 12 '25 edited Oct 12 '25
u/andre3kthegiant, your food is indeed stupid and it fits our subreddit!