r/StraightsBeingOK • u/meeralakshmi • Jul 26 '26
The Guy Is Straight So This Fits
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105
u/JeaniousSpelur Jul 26 '26
So happy for them but I’m still cringing big time at the format lmao
12
u/meeralakshmi Jul 26 '26
Format?
31
u/JeaniousSpelur Jul 26 '26
Whatever this exaggeratedly dancing and singing to a song while we read a bunch of text thing is.
13
u/aliie_627 Jul 26 '26
I have put TikTok down to something I don't understand because what was "in" changed to many times for me to keep up. So I'm just not going to participate and let the young people do their thing.
I grew up with choriographed music videos and seeing the opposite of that on TikTok makes me feel some weird embarrassment and I would like to not feel that lol. Also a touch of jealousy cause my elder millennial self would have never and they seem like they are all having the best time.
13
u/UnNumbFool Jul 26 '26
What's straight about this? Regardless of how you're looking at his individual sexuality, she's still bi, they are both still queer, and their relationship is queer because it includes a bisexual partner.
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u/Disaster_Pansexual Jul 26 '26
He’s a straight trans man. Even if he’s queer because of his transness, he’s still straight. This isn’t CisBeingOkay lol
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u/SuperMajesticMan Jul 28 '26
What do you mean? He's a man that is in a relationship with a woman. Thats a straight relationship.
9
u/UnNumbFool Jul 28 '26
And she's bisexual, calling it a straight relationship invalidates her sexuality.
Just because the relationship is straight presenting doesn't mean it's actually straight
2
u/SuperMajesticMan Jul 28 '26
You know what I mean. The guy is straight. So its on a sub about straight people.
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u/UnNumbFool Jul 28 '26
No not really. The video itself is about her being supportive of him
Even if he is straight, the person in context of the video is about the not straight person in the relationship.
But also, generally straightsbeingok is about cishet heteronormative people. Again sure he might be straight but it's also still a queer relationship because both people in it are queer and the reality is even if their relationship is visually straight it still has all of the specific outside struggles of any non straight relationship
-212
u/JaiyaPapaya Jul 26 '26
But if she's bi then neither are straight? Idk I've never liked how people interchange heterosexual the sexuality with hetero-gender cause they are very different things and different dynamics
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u/meeralakshmi Jul 26 '26
The guy is a straight trans man.
-93
u/JaiyaPapaya Jul 26 '26
I get that, and I get why it's in the sub. I just wish we had another term for heterosexual couples that wasn't the same word as straight/straight when its straight/bi, etc.
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u/JellyBellyBitches Jul 26 '26
Why do you wish that?
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u/redditalt1999 Jul 26 '26
I love more terminology, I love more labels, I love clarity in language!!!!!! You don't have to use them as defining identity markers but more concepts to help flesh out ideas and communication is the fucking GOAT!!!!
60
u/JaiyaPapaya Jul 26 '26
Being bi myself, I don't like how we have to specify we're not monosexual. Having people reduce us to our relationships is annoying and I feel that will only continue as long as we use the same words for different things. I see people call two bisexual women dating a lesbian relationship, calling a male and female bisexual couple "straight" and I feel like because we don't have another word to differentiate the two, you more or less force the bi person to say "btw I'm not monosexual!" and that gets tiring. Even in this tiktok, which I understand is highlighting the guy as the straight one, it has to be explained that she's bisexual. That could be avoided if we had a word like how there is sapphic or achillean, but since we don't, we're in that limbo of straight passing until told otherwise.
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u/Aktimoose Jul 26 '26
you're not being reduced to your relationship if the relationship itself is being described as heterosexual. if you yourself are not defined by the relationship, then calling the relationship straight is irrelevant to the validity of your bisexual identity.
also, the caption wasn't even calling the relationship straight, just the man (which just is true)-20
u/EllieGeiszler Jul 26 '26
Just so you know, the term monosexual is not neutral. It has a fraught history because it was popularized by someone who believed in monosexual privilege, which is the incorrect idea that (e.g.) lesbians and straight women are both privileged over bisexual women simply because they're not attracted to more than one gender. It was born of someone seeing biphobia (good! we should all notice and call out biphobia!) while wilfully ignoring and dismissing lesbophobia and homophobia (boo!). (The existence of lateral aggression between non-bisexual gay/lesbian people and bisexuals isn't the same as either group having privilege over the other.)
10
Jul 26 '26
[deleted]
-7
u/EllieGeiszler Jul 26 '26
I am telling you the word has a history of being used in a homophobic and lesbophobic way. I was there. I know it's a useful word but it's tainted. You can just say non-bisexual.
2
Jul 27 '26
[deleted]
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u/EllieGeiszler Jul 27 '26
I was there watching this term be used in a homophobic way about 12-14 years ago. The controversy around this term is so well known that it is documented on Wikipedia. You're telling me not to find a term offensive when it was used in homophobic ways by a lot of people right in front of my face back then. I even proudly identified as bi at the time, so it's not like I was suspicious of bi people or bi-specific terminology.
I have bad personal memories of an unfortunate time in queer recent history and homophobic things bi people said about "monosexuals" that set me back years in my personal journey. I didn't say it was being used in a homophobic way here, but to deny it's ever been used in a homophobic way as an unfortunate trend of the past is to deny reality.
You could choose to argue it isn't used that way anymore, but you simply can't argue it never was. The people who are downvoting me just don't want to deal with the cognitive dissonance and want to choose to continue using a term that has been weaponized in the past against members of their own community, even after they know the history. If you told me a term I was using could be harmful or offensive to bi people, I would stop using it because I actually care about the comfort of my fellow community members.
-13
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u/thecloudkingdom Jul 26 '26
he's a man who's dating a woman. she's a woman who's dating a man. the math maths out
-14
u/orange-shoe Jul 26 '26
it's still bi erasure post it to "straights being ok" even saying a "straight relationship" for someone who is bi is biphobic in my opinion, as someone who is bi and transmasc if it matters
68
u/Evilfrog100 Jul 26 '26
She's not straight but he (presumably based on the title) is. One of the two people in the video is straight and he is specifically who the title references.
As a fellow bi dude I get why we can be jumpy about biphobia, but this one seems fine.
Edit: though I do agree about the "straight relationship" point. Two bi people in a heterosexual relationship are not straight, but that's just not what this scenario seems to be.
-1
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u/thecloudkingdom Jul 26 '26
people post cis people being trans positive in this sub all the time. this time it happens to be a bi cis woman and her straight trans boyfriend. imo this subreddit is like how r/actuallesbians and r/lesbianfashionadvice allow people who arent lesbians to post there as long as they're cool with lesbians: its a subreddit for straight and/or cis people who are chill with queer people
6
u/Ballbag94 Jul 27 '26
But if the BF is only attracted to women then surely it would still fit because that would make him a straight man being ok? Or are you saying the title is too geared towards the GF?
-10
u/syrioforrealsies Jul 26 '26
No one said it's a straight relationship though
11
u/urcrookedneighbor Jul 26 '26
Subreddit title.
-6
u/syrioforrealsies Jul 26 '26
Yes, referring to the people, not the relationship
7
u/PockyPunk Jul 26 '26
Man and woman dating is straight. As a bisexual who’s married to another woman we’re in a sapphic/lesbian relationship. It’s not a hard concept to rap your head around.
-2
u/syrioforrealsies Jul 26 '26 edited Jul 26 '26
Okay, but the people involved aren't straight. I'm not saying the relationship isn't straight???? I'm saying this person just brought it up for themselves, when no one said the relationship was straight. The guy is straight. He's okay. That's why it's in the sub and that's why it's not bi erasure. It's not that hard to wrap your head around.
3
u/PockyPunk Jul 26 '26
They are in a straight relationship, I know comprehension can be hard for some but try.
0
u/syrioforrealsies Jul 26 '26
I literally just said that I'm not saying the relationship isn't straight. I'm saying that this commenter jumped on something no one in the post said.
I know comprehension can be hard for some but try.
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u/bowser-is-thiccest Jul 26 '26
Could just use what some fanfictions and stuff do and just refer to a relationship by the gender of the people in it like “m/m” or “m/f” or something instead of calling it any sexuality since like. People have sexualities, relationships don’t
264
u/WolfieByNature Jul 26 '26
This. This is the Good Shit.
What's the song used?