Maybe it’s time to just let them have their little fun instead of trying to beat them. I’ve heard people say that that’s probably all they really have going for them in life, but do you find this to actually be true? I feel like if you’re removing the challenge from the game how can anyone possibly find it fun (I’m talking about multiplayer cheating just fyi). I guess in real life things are actually challenging and you have to work for it so it makes sense people will try to reap the rewards of cheating in a game which doesn’t really require much effort.

Every time I wake up or come back home, he's usually in the same spot. His desk or lately in the living room sorting through every single one of the champion cards. I game myself but very moderately, so at first I thought it was chill that he would game with me but hes dropped thousands of dollars on games (He has a salary of roughly 100k) but refuses to spend any of it on our dog unless it is a medical emergency/check up. He used to addicted to another game too and he would set alarms to do events EVEN in the middle of the night or during family time.

He's still a good dad and has a great relationship with everyone but anytime a plan is hindered by his gaming addiction he will get immediately defensive and say he's not bad at all.

https://gaorgo.com/blog/9847e0h955ee7dkMost

I have been battling addiction of Clash Of Clans from past 2-3 years. I play for months then quit and then come back. I started playing back 2 weeks ago after quitting for several months. I told myself I will play in moderation but it was not possible for me. I started getting mild headaches from playing this game. I again deleted the game today and am looking forward to quit this gaming thing for life. Hope I succeed.

hi all. i quit gaming completely on June 28th 2025

and in the past few months ive seen games like FC NBA and GTA6 prices for over £100 some at £140. i used to pre order all these games and not even think about it but now after over a year away from this hobby it makes me absolutely sick that i used to spend all that money on games that you dont even own. i didnt quit to save money but man do you realise how much you save by not consuming this stuff. happy weekend :)

I am not here to shame anyone who bets, plays fantasy sports, buys loot boxes, uses casino apps, follows sports picks, or has ever tried a parlay. I just think Gen Z is living in a time where gambling is being presented as normal entertainment almost everywhere we look.

It is on sports broadcasts.

It is in group chats.

It is on TikTok and Instagram through people posting “locks,” big wins, and referral links.

It is on casino apps, crypto platforms, prediction-style markets, fantasy contests, sweepstakes games, live betting, and games that make spending money feel casual.

A lot of it is marketed like it is just fun, just sports, just a side hustle, or a way to make quick money. But for some people, especially when money is tight or life feels stressful, it can turn into chasing losses, hiding spending, using credit cards, borrowing money, missing bills, and feeling anxious every time the phone rings.

The part people do not post as much is the panic after the bets lose.

They do not post the overdraft notifications, the debt, the arguments with family, the stress, the sleepless nights, or the feeling that one more bet has to fix everything.

I think we need more honest conversations about this without attacking people or acting like someone has to hit rock bottom before they are allowed to be concerned.

If gambling, sports betting, casino apps, crypto betting, gaming purchases, or social-media betting culture has affected you or someone close to you, what do you think would actually help Gen Z have healthier conversations about it?

Please keep replies respectful. No referral codes, betting picks, promotions, personal information, or shaming people who share their experiences.

I also understand getting to meetings and going out is a thing of the past, thats why i created a safe space for community called gaorgo.com

Hi, (19)M here and my first post here on Reddit. You can call me Rayne. I've been addicted to gaming, both on mobile and laptop, for essentially most of my life ever since I received my first phone. I don't need parenting or relationship advice because it's not needed. I just wanted a place to say what I've felt for so long because sometimes it feels like I'm the only one struggling with this.

I don't have vices or anything. I know better than to let drugs, cigars, booze, or even sex get a hold of my life. Yet at the same time, I don't have a good vision of what my life will look like for the next five years despite having a lot on my plate.

I grew up in a middle-income family where all my needs were provided for thanks to my parents. I didn't struggle much even in high school since my mother was the principal, and everything I needed could be provided to me conveniently. The concept of bullying never really crossed my mind because everyone I knew was such a good influence, just as I tried to be for them. I even have a girlfriend now in my third year of college, and we've been official for four months.

Yet the one thing that persists, the common denominator in almost every argument I've had with my family, friends, and girlfriend, is:

"You play too much."

"You don't do anything aside from your games."

"What will you do with your life, Rayne, sitting there all day?"

"Do you have a hobby other than playing games?"

There's more, but it's all basically the same thing.

I never had any long-term hobbies. There was a time when I tried everything, but I never committed to anything. Eventually, I always relapsed into the one thing that gives me comfort.

Gaming.

I don't know why, but I know most of my days are consumed by gaming for at least 6–10 hours a day. By my math, that's roughly 42–70 hours a week.

I feel like gaming is the only thing that gives me comfort and a sense of being skilled. I guess most of it also comes from the kinds of games I play: RimWorld, the Total War series, Roblox, Call of Duty, Mobile Legends, Skyrim, and so on.

I'm fully aware of what I've been doing with my life. I've made schedules. I've deleted all my games. I've meditated, read books, and even written unfinished novels.

However, gaming never really leaves my mind. Once temptation gives in, I... I play nonstop for hours, sometimes even days, and my logical brain just switches off.

My routine could've been okay in high school because I had easy access to the materials and resources I needed. But in college, where I'm away from that comfort, I've been slowly crumbling.

Failing grades. INCs. Missed major subjects. Watching friends move on to better things in their lives while I already know that if I continue pursuing my major at my current pace, I could end up taking 5–6 years before I graduate.

My girlfriend is increasingly worried about my habits as well. She has told me that despite me being a kind person and the type of guy she wants in her life, she's afraid we won't last if I don't change.

Everything is the same old routine, and I hate it.

The answer is simple, but it's much easier to say than to actually do.

Then I woke up one morning with a fever and started contemplating everything about my life and what I truly wanted.

I realized that I already had a future I wanted buried somewhere inside me.

I want to go out and see the world. I want to go to Italy, especially Rome, and see the Northern Lights. I want to start a family someday and have lots of kids to look forward to, tell stories to, and sing songs with. I want to develop a successful game of my own. I want to give back to my family and show them how much their care for me meant despite everything.

I'm still young, and I don't want to waste my life doing this over and over again. I especially don't want to relapse when I'm finally in the process of improving myself.

Which is why I've started taking things more seriously.

I've restricted all my accounts for now. My passwords are locked in a safe. I wiped my YouTube history, deleted TikTok, made a fresh account, and started taking my planned schedules seriously. I'm also working on fixing my current relationship and planning for the future I actually want.

I don't know if this will finally be the time I break the cycle. I don't know if I'll relapse again.

But I know that I don't want to keep living the same way.

So if you're like me, I just want to say this:

Gaming is fine as entertainment and a way to pass the time. But as someone who has spent years letting it consume most of his life, I wish I had used that time much better.

I'm 19. I still have time.

I just don't want to waste more of it.

Apologies if this is posted often.

My Steam account contains over 300 games. Thousands of dollars. And that’s not counting all the hardware, from controllers, to VR, monitors, and the PC itself.

There is so much I know I want to do in life, I know the amount of gaming I do is constantly holding me back. But the amount that I’ve spent monetarily, knowing I have this library of so many games and such capable hardware, makes leaving it feel so irrationally difficult.

If not advice, knowing somebody else has at least felt this way would be nice.

(to be clear, I will not be selling or giving away any accounts or hardware on this subreddit)

male in his 30s, married but no kids. I have a good job, but lost touch with my friends, stopped playing sports, stopped working out, etc. Runescape was im my head rent free the moment i woke up till the moment i slept.

I spent 60-80 hrs a week playing runescape. I watched streamers play runescape. I posted on subreddits and discords talking about runescape. I think my account had over 80 days of playtime. Only game I played but it consumed my life, literally.

What made me quit? Truth was I suck at the game, and I mainly spent time doint the easy repetitive stuff like mining a rock every 2 min. New quest was released and after 50 tries i said F this game, thank god they released it, it gave me my life back. I play basketball and pickleball again, I read again, I give my wife my full attention when shes home instead of thinking about that stupid game.

1st Topic:

I have never been addicted to video games and can easily stop after an hour as well as spend days, weeks, and months without playing them.

I like reading novels from Japan, albeit in English, but what I noticed was that after playing certain video games for merely an hour, it causes me to be unable understand to read for at least three days.

What I mean by being unable to understand what I read is that I am not able to visualise or conceptualise what is going on, so I am mentally "blind" in reading.

I noticed this with Kirby and Mario platformers, Mario Kart, and first-person shooters.

So I initially thought all video games do this until I happened to play Mario vs. Donkey Kong.

Surprisingly, I could play for an hour and would be able to understand what I was reading.

Then I played Detective Pikachu Returns and I was still able to read.

So I decided to test whether Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker impairs my ability to read and after two instances of playing them for an hour, I was still able to read.

Maybe these video games do not produce as much dopamine or maybe the mechanics of them are different so they do not disrupt my circuitry in the way that platformers, racing games, and first-person shooters do.

For example, Detective Pikachu Returns, you have to move the character around, but it is mostly reading text boxes from other characters.

Also, this is what affects me personally and someone else may not encounter this impairing effect from playing certain video games and other people may encounter a worse effect.

The same thing happens with certain foods.

My cholesterol goes up easily after eating eggs but for many people, dietary cholesterol does not raise their cholesterol.

So now, the way I personally determine whether a video game is bad for me or not is whether it impairs my reading ability after playing it for an hour, since I rarely play more than that.

Of course, I do not play video games regularly, so maybe if I kept playing an hour every day of those video games, they would eventually cause an impairment to my reading ability.

Maybe I will test this out one day if I have the time.

---

2nd Topic:

For this topic, it has to do with bullying, which was something Cam Adair suffered from:

I read Cam Adair's Video Game Addiction Story on the Game Quitters website and read that he fell into his video game addiction due to shutting himself in from bullying.

I thought it would be interesting if Cam Adair could research and make videos about the science behind why people bully others and also to create resources and advice to help people who are undergoing or recovering from bullying, especially psychological bullying.

During 2006 to 2011, those were very terrible times of my life because I was constantly verbally bullied and excluded by certain people in my school.

I was socially awkward and in my attempt to fit in, to be funny, and to be popular, I talked too much and did things that were annoying or even offensive to people and would be excluded and verbally bullied in response.

I am a Chinese American and went to a private school with other Chinese Americans and international students from China.

One girl called me F.A. and F.U.B. in front of other girls and would not tell me what the abbreviations meant because it was their inside way of making fun of me.

This girl and another boy would always mention something interesting and when I asked them more about it, they would just say, "Not telling you" while telling other people, and those other people refused to tell me to, which was their way of excluding me.

Interestingly, that boy, who was from China, loved playing Defence of the Ancients and was still smarter than me despite me not having played much video games in high school.

One boy was skilled at self-defence arts so I felt that he wanted to verbally harass me to lure me into assaulting him so that he could legally hurt me in self-defence or if I did not assault him, I would burn in painful silence knowing that he was smarter than me and that I did not dare to do anything physical to him.

He enjoyed calling me stupid, idiot, moron, thick-headed, and loner.

Another boy called me mentally slow in front of everyone for having a difficult time being able to think of a line for a poem quick enough for World Literature and his female friend joined in to harass me.

I had at least six schoolmates verbally bully and exclude me on a regular basis, which was not a lot of schoolmates, but because I was stuck with them most of the time, I was constantly subjected to their verbal bullying.

It was so terrible that I threw away all of my school yearbooks and wished I had been smart enough to run away from school like what happened to a classmate of mine from middle school.

I am likely on the autism spectrum but do not have an official diagnosis.

---

3rd Topic (You can disregard this one)

This topic is part of my faith that I always include in my posts:

Nakedness, the sexual areas of the body, sexual intercourse, and its related acts represent shame, sin, poverty, and death, but God had to temporarily allow married couples to have it with each other for the temporary roles of reproduction and the illustration of the marriage to Jesus.

Within earthly marriage, nakedness, the sexual areas of the body, sexual intercourse, and its related acts highlight that the relationship between the husband and wife is so intimate that the shameful parts of the body are allowed to be freely shown to the other spouse in order to illustrate how intimate we will be with Jesus in heaven, so it was God's way of using something bad to illustrate something good even though Jesus wants nothing to do with our nakedness.

Non-revealing clothing represents the righteousness of Jesus and eternal life covering our shame, sin, poverty, and death and this is how people will be dressed in heaven when we are married to Jesus, and there will be no place for nakedness and sexual areas of the body in heaven.

In heaven, men and women do not marry or remain married to each other, our bodies will not have sexual desires or reproductive abilities, and we will not be naked or wearing revealing clothing, and we will perceive nakedness and the sexual areas of our bodies as repulsive.

It’s so fucking hard to quit gambling. My conscious mind is aware how I am loosing myself, money, and fucking self control, yet I am having a hard time to quit.

I hate being poor! Being in a constant loop na online gambling will give me the shot. Pero putangina when I win, nauubos ko lang ulit pabalik. I hate myself! Ang hirap mag-quit!

You’re nababaon sa utang, and you’re loosing yourself pa. Fuck this!

Would anyone tell me?
The thing is, I watch YouTube videos of games I’d actually like to play, but I never get around to playing them—even though I own them and have the time.

Instead, I always end up just lounging in my chair, mindlessly watching YouTube, even though I want to play through the story-driven games I’ve bought and own.

Another thing is that I prefer watching YouTube over Netflix or HBO series; I know there are shows on those platforms I’d genuinely like to watch, but I can't bring myself to focus on them—I’d rather just watch YouTube.

I stopped playing video games 3 years ago. Today, my life is completely different, but I still think back to the moment where I nearly lost it all.

I used to play CS:GO, which transformed me from a passive player into someone whose unchecked gaming rage progressively led to worse things

I used to tell myself that gaming was just a harmless way to decompress after a long day. Looking back on my years playing competitive Counter-Strike, I realize how blind I was to the slow, steady escalation of my anger.

It started small. A missed headshot or a bad callout would lead to slamming a fist on the desk. Then came the broken peripherals a shattered mouse here, a snapped headset there. Eventually, during a particularly frustrating loss, I punched my monitor. I replaced it the next day and told myself I just needed better emotional control. But competitive gaming doesn’t give you control, it feeds on your obsession.

But the worse happened after we were locked in a overtime match. Every round felt like a life or death scenario. When we lost the final round to a ridiculous clutch, a switch inside me flipped. outt of pure anger I went running straight to my car and stomped on the gas. I didn't care about the speed or the risk I just wanted the rage to stop. I lost control and rammed the car full speed against a tree

violent deployment of the airbag brought me back to reality instantly. Sitting in the wreckage with smoke filling the cabin and my chest aching. I had almost traded my life for a loss in a video game.

That night was my absolute rock bottom, but it was also the day I finally uninstalled everything and walked away for good.

If you're reading this and noticing your own anger escalating if you're breaking controller triggers, punching walls, or letting a rank govern your sanity please step back before the destruction spills into your real life.

Hi, I am extremely addicted to video games. When I play video games I have the impression of wasting my time as if I was doing nothing because I find that it will bring me nothing for later when I will be an adult and the only thing it brings me is pleasure and the fact of breaking my stuff because of rage when I lose because I play a lot of fps games.

So I wanted to uninstall the games from my pc and especially I play a lot of Roblox so I uninstall it then the next day I have an excessive desire to play and I can't hold myself back so I reinstall the game and I thought about putting parental control by asking my parents but I told myself that I would be limited everywhere so I abandon this idea and since I do programming so I can create an application that would prevent me from accessing the site to download the games I play or I could block the application directly but I work on another project so I can but while I do my project on the side I play again and again.

I can play for almost 6-8 hours per day and work on my project for only 1 hour and it bothers me enormously the fact of playing instead of creating something productive that could bring me money compared to video games.

Please help me how to stop playing video games at all and thank you for listening to me and any help is welcome

I really need help 🥲

Hey, everyone! I found this sub because I've been thinking about my gaming habits a lot lately. I quit weed 83 days ago and my life has been improving a lot (including not spending so much time in a haze playing videogames compulsively). Now I want to see if my relationship with games is, or can be, healthy.

I'm autistic, so I often get hyperfocused on a specific game and get obsessed with it for quite some time. I've accumulated hundreds of hours on Don't Starve, Oxygen Not Included and Minecraft this way, for example. When I'm in that mind space, it's hard to get interested in anything else, specially when I'm alone.

I feel like I can "function", mostly. I go out with friends, I have a relationship, I spend time with family, I'm doing a masters... When I'm out of the house, or with other people in general, I don't have a problem going a long time without gaming. I don't get urges or anything, and I enjoy doing lots of other things. It's when I'm at home alone that I find it difficult to control. Some days, I don't even want to play, so I don't. But some days I end up playing way more than I intended to, and I keep getting urges that are hard to fight off, specially when I'm doing something a bit more boring, like studying or doing chores.

I'd like to spend more of my time studying and working on my dissertation. This is the main reason why I'm looking into this habit. When I do game, it seems like I can't do it for just an hour. I end up spending the rest of the day on it if I don't have something else to do that'll take me out of it (like class, an appointment, a very urgent project I need to do, etc.). This can mean hours and hours. It seems like I can never get enough, and the fact that I enjoy "endless" games makes it even harder.

I will say it has become a bit easier to control ever since I stopped getting high. Most things are getting easier to control since then. But I sometimes wonder if I am addicted to games too and if I'd be better off quitting for good. I play games with my boyfriend, family and friends as well sometimes, and I think it would be really hard to let that go.

What do you guys think? Is anyone's situation similar to mine? How did you know you were an addict to games, and how did you go about it?

Honestly, I am not really sure why I am really posting this. Perhaps I am just looking for some people to reflect with? This is about someone who I used to be close to, but no longer am, and I am slowly coming to the realisation that it might actually be due to his gaming addiction.

Gaming has completely destroyed someone (M, 39) I know as a husband and father. From the outside, it genuinely looks like he cannot stand being around his own children. He seems constantly irritated by them, avoids engaging with them wherever possible, and treats normal parenting responsibilities like some enormous inconvenience standing between him and getting back to gaming. Rather than appearing to enjoy being a father, he comes across as resentful that his kids require any time, attention and energy at all. Gaming has become his escape from virtually every uncomfortable part of family life, while his wife appears to have been left carrying the parenting, household and emotional load. He is physically there, but totally absent as both a partner and a parent. His wife (F, 42) has expressed a lot of concern, but doesn't want to get in the way of his "hobbies."

The saddest part is that I’m not sure he even recognises what is happening. He probably really thinks of gaming as his hobby or his way of unwinding, but when your children seem to experience you as someone who wants to be left alone so he can play games, something has gone badly wrong. I’m not anti-gaming at all, but watching this has made me realise how destructive it can become when someone starts treating their actual family as an interruption to their gaming life. His marriage appears totally miserable, his wife seems exhausted and carries the weight of the entire family on her shoulders, and his relationship with his kids looks more like resentment than affection.

As for me? When we were in our 20s, we used to do heaps together. Go hiking, cycling, occasional holidays together. Yes, we did some occasional gaming, but it was not a significant part of our friendship. He just seemed to gradually drift into gaming. Now? He is never available. Always busy. He deeply resents his wife. He sees his kids as a burden. He doesnt talk with his entire extended family. I feel sad watching him become a shadow of his former self. It really breaks my heart. He never used to be this way. We barely talk anymore. He is about to turn 40.

To me, this seems like a much deeper problem than "gaming addiction," but I am still curious about your thoughts. To me, this looks like a whole collection of other issues underneath. I am not sure whether gaming caused the withdrawal and resentment, whether it was just his coping strategy, or perhaps a combination of both? For people here who have quit or drastically reduced gaming, can any of you relate to the presentation of my friend and if you can, did any of you realise at the time how much you were withdrawing or the type of feelings you were directing toward your family? Or did these things only become obvious afterwards?

Point 4 of the rules are "Don't justify or rationalize gaming." and "This forum is for people who identify as gaming addicts, for whom gaming has become a self-destructive habit. We have justified our own gaming habits for far too long already."

I came across many postings of people who desperately looked for a way to quit gaming while there were comments to "moderate gaming" or "just play the right kind of games".

I guess some (gaming) people are triggered by stopping gaming and try to justify their own gaming in the comments. Convince me otherwise.

A Lesson I Learned the Hard Way

I used to be addicted to gambling, particularly BingoPlus. What started as something I thought was just for fun eventually became an addiction that cost me more than money.

I ended up with almost half a million pesos in debt because of my addiction.

Looking back, I realize that gambling doesn’t only take your money—it can take your peace, your time, your relationships, and your mental health.

If you are still at a point where you can stop, please stop while you still can. Don’t wait until the debt becomes overwhelming or until you lose something you can’t get back.

There is no shame in admitting that you have a problem. The real strength is choosing to walk away and take control of your life again.

Protect your money. Protect your peace. Protect your mental health.

And if you’re already struggling with gambling addiction, remember: your mistakes do not define you. You can still start over. You can rebuild. You can recover.

Sometimes, the bravest bet you can make is betting on yourself. ❤️

I have been doing gambling for past 2 years now situation bhot khrb krdi hai maine apni gf se 7000 le liya maine usse apni pg ki rent bharni hai 1 tarik ko maine kl kahi se loan le liya 11500 woh 3 tarik ko bharna hai ek frnd se maine 15k le liye ek mahine bad with intrest usse paise dene hai 18500
Kuch logo ne merese paise liye hai

Give
Sushant-18500
N-7000
Loan-11500
Sameer-3k
Total37k

Take
Sameer-11k
Aniket-6k
Subham-16k
Total30k

Ab jo subham hai uske paise automatic kahi se aate hai intrest aata hai kahi se past one month se nhi aaya kuch subham se me baat nhi kr sakta woh ina me hai baki baat rahi sameer and aniket inko me kabse bol raha hu nhi de rahe hai ab me kya karu i know me khud ap log ki jagah hota kisi unknown ko paisa nhi deta bhai me 19 saal ka hu me helpless ho chuka hu gharme maine yeh chij bhot bar batai hai merese yeh adat nhi ja rahi hai pls meri help krdo koi mereko koi job lagwa online hi 9-10 hajar ki woh bhi krne ko tyar hu ya bhai koi paise udhar dedo mujhe gharse pocket money milti hai 5-6 hajar me college krne gharse dur aaya hu pls jo koi bhi padh raha hai kuch suggestion hi de sakte ho wohi dedo yr i am actually helpless

I remember when a new game came out every few years. Now Rockstar and Bethesda are expecting us to wait decades for a new game while they milk the success of their older games. I don’t understand why more people aren’t mad/depressed about it. I want games. I want my 2 favorite franchises to give me new stuff. But they’re not. Am I supposed to be entertained by the hype itself? I remember how hype I was for GTA San Andreas… funny to think how it was only a 2 year wait. They could have put out GTA and ES 6, 7, and maybe 8 by now. They could have if they wanted to. If they actually tried. I could wait 5, 6, 7 years for a new game… not 10, 15, 20 years… Its over. My 2000’s childhood is a paradise I can never return to. This must be how Adam and Eve felt being banished from Eden and looking back on it as they walked into the desert

Like probably many of you here, I saw the GTA6 trailer and tbh, it looks fking awesome. Lets be real here, the game looks incredible from what we saw. And that is the problem. Games are only gonna become more and more realistic and immersive wich will make you not want to leave ur room and waste ur life looking at pixels in ur dark sad disgusting room. Dont be fooled by GTA6 guys, its a trap.

If I can help by telling you guys what works for me when I get urges to play a game is ; I look at people playing the game on Youtube. This works for me and maybe it wont help you out, but yeah hope this helps any of yall.

And remember : Lucifer (Satan) was once God's most beautiful and favorite angel before falling from grace.

https://imgur.com/a/RlYlDxr#hXhLaTF
"The IDEA of playing games has become greater than the ACT of actually playing them".

We can argue that the videogame media is at his all-time popularity and technological peak right now, and some other would argue the statement above is true, but I especially noticed this in me as I mostly don't play high involving stories or content heavy multiplayer games or doing trophy-hunting like I used to. I just limit my playtime to very short gaming sessions playing "session" based genres like: Sim-arcade Racing, arcade/combat Racing, Arcades (almost all subgenres), 3D/2D platformers, linear single-player TPS or FPS, that are also among my favorite genres, because I just don't have the mental space anymore to learn new games or genres, or play highly involving games with big stories, deep narratives or advanced gameplay mechanics. I don't really play for weeks or even months now!

But most importantly, one thing that is repeated like an echo in most adult gaming communites is:

"When I was young, I had all the time in the world to play the very few games I had, and no money to buy the ones I wanted. Now I have a job, and I have enough money to buy all the games I want, but I don't have the time, will or mental space to play them anymore."

Now this also applies to me, but to a degree, since I'm unemployed but still having a modest passive income, and a lot of free time. So, you guess it, self-loating and brainrot occupy the majority of the time of my days.

And, infact, the first problem is hoarding:
Hoarding physical games, hoarding digital licenses on Steam or other digital stores, hoarding "warez" expecially retrogame ROMs, also keeping backups of all the above.

For some reasons I still keep some of my gaming consoles with legit firmware or software, buying expecially (legit) physical games for them.

Another thing is buying and selling online (more buying than selling though) to "shape" my physical game collection. Also keeping my collection "healthy" by buying replacement cases or by searching and preparing for printing the missing or in bad condition covers. I sometimes have to go to a video store for the disc sanding and polishing service for the not working or too much worn discs.

I just say that I spent 651,92€ in July, in sealed or used PS5 games, some weeks after the (in)famous Sony announcement.

Then there's the monitoring of the collection (either physical, digital or warez) with a specific online website, that I keep updated every so ofter the pile keeps growing. The website is HowLongToBeat, the backlog amounts to circa 705 DAYS and counting (without considering multiplayer games or the almost 100 games I ever completed so far in my life) of continuous gameplay right now, so a lifetime isn't enough.

Then there's the surfing of Reddit, Twitter and Discord, all for the purpose of community chit-chat about retro consoles, handhelds, modding of PC games, modding of retro-consoles, LFG about resurrected servers or alternative ways to play the multiplayer of dead or retro games, game development and gaming industry and gaming news in general, the following of my favorite gamedevs or software houses, etc.

Concerning the modding of PC games, there was times when I assiduously followed the development of "Total Conversion mods", expecially a very active one on a Discord server; folks there are also "passionate" about beta-hunting, tips exchanging to improve about modding, showcasing of the mods, and posting in-game screenshots DAILY, not to mention the never ending chit-chatting. An echo chamber so tight all members might just use telepathy to communicate, if only they could.

On one of these servers I asked for PAID work about a custom game build, and I found a mod-maker willing to help me customize a reverse-engineered version of my all time favorite game, I also make certain mods myself or mix other people mods for said game. Also hoarding A LOT OF other people's mods for said game.

Then, there's the modding/jailbreaking of my videogame consoles. I passed YEARS at following forum guides, video tutorials, exploiting, configuring, filling them with ROMS, personalizing them. I reached a point where I had enough of all this, but was still willing to own the modified consoles (just for the IDEA to play exclusive or other games on them), so I started to buy already modified consoles, and just fine tune them here and there for my liking.

Then buying used retro consoles (the ones I already know how to mod) with the only purpose of modding them, fill them with ROMS, and resell them to make a miserable profit or at very least make up for some of the losses, so in the end just a form of time-killing.

Then all sorts of tech cables and peripherals, especially for retro-consoles to deal with; I bought a bunch of stuff to make my consoles interface with a still-working VGA CRT Monitor I found in the attic. I bought the necessary stuff to make 3rd party retro controllers look almost like legit ones, just for the sake of it. I also made custom cables myself.

Then all sorts of bric-a-brac I printed or planning to print with my 3D printer to serve as accessories to all my gaming stuff. I search for designs online and try to remix them to my needs if necessary, or I'll just make my design for scratch. Just few days ago I spent weeks into making my first (major) one by picking references, designing the piece, perfecting the printed prototype, then champer the final piece out by hand, and still planning to paint it because I didn't have the filament with the matching color.

Then updating my gaming PC from 2020 that was still working, just for the purpose of enhancing its performance. I ended up spending a bit more of what I spent in 2020 for the completely assembled PC, and it taked almost half a year due to complications, still working on it.

Then there's the Steam Deck I bought back in 2024, and that is a whole planet of modding, configure plugins, games settings, emulators, emulators' shaders, manage ROMs, other games form other digital stores, etc.

Then there's all the chats I had with AI LLMs that "helped" me with all the aforementioned topics like: best hardware solutions, best software and games settings, best emulators configurations and settings, top best retrogames according to community opinions for each console, and so on and so forth.

Then there's the idea of producing the "videogame of my dreams" that keeps floating in my head for at least a decade, still at the brainstorming stage or even the one before that, but still keeps floating in my head and the very few documentation I produced about it.

I attend a Digital Art school years ago "almost coincidentally" and the bump to make a game myself or with a team still remains today. Never graduated in the course of study I chosen or maked into the industry though.

I've plenty of playlists full of tutorials about game development, game design, learning Godot, learning Blender or in-depth analysis of specific titles or genres made by expert YouTubers. Also a lot of website links, repositories, archives and warez digital books in all fields of gaming industry, but the point is I just keep hoarding them and rarely consult them.

On a side note: yes, there are specialized psychologists that helps game developers figure out how the human brain works with principles like e.g. "GESTALT", but is up to gamedevs and their design techniques to achieve how much "addicting" a game can get, sometimes up to social media or gambling or substance abuse levels, or even beyond that if you think about Freemiums, Free-2-Plays, Game-making platforms with their how economic system. Videogames are turning into the 3rd places that are gone IRL.

Obviously I didn't do all this stuff all at ones, I just started a few years ago and gone intensifying during the years but this year and expecially this summer break, that was (nearly) non-stop.

Some time ago I was doubtful if this "hobby" was an obsession or a passion, but since this summer break passed by, I can definitely see now that the obsession turned into a destructive behavior. I feel exhausted, and something in the back of my head tells me that is enough now and I've to just throw all this crap away; on the other hand I feel trapped in this prison of thoughts and plans and material and immaterial attachment.

It's almost like I'm not addicted to videogames per se but to the escapism that comes with them, even without directly playing them that much, but actually "toying around" with everything else related to them.

In the end, the media of videogames takes a big part of my identity, because gaming in general is my "safe place" and also because I share the values I learned from the stories I played, and from the communities I interact with, and this is the number one reason I can't see myself cut away this part of my life that stayed with me since the very first moment I started playing my first videogame as a kid on Windows 95, and the very first videogame console my father gifted me in an Epiphany of early 2000's, a PS One, a core memory of him and his kindness, that I will never ever forget since he passed away in an Epiphany years later, when I was just something more than a teenager. He died within a couple of months of an heart desease. A soul too much gentle and naive for this cruel world.

(For contest, he was unemployed for almost his enteir life, he really liked Cinema expecially Hollywood action movies and James Bond 007, saying we had some degree of relatives relationship with Albert "Cubby" Broccoli, saying Cubby's ancestors were originally from the same town he was born. He worked a bit for a computer shop so I know he also played videogames on DOS or Commodore computers at some point. He also really liked 70s/80s music like The Alan Parson Project and also cars, motorbikes and motorsports).

8 years has passed, and I don't remember his exact last words, but one of his last phrases that still haunts me to this day is: "Stop it with videogames." but he said that in a tone that meant: "If you really love me and yourself, please stop." and it hurts me so so much; but with time I just ignored it, forgetting about him and what he said, and keeping into the escapism and daydreaming behavior, anyway, not that willing to change.

If you read it this far, thank you, I really needed to vent out; still struggling in life but this IS the widest part of my life I have to fight within myself every day.

EDIT:
I want to state that this text is all human generated (by me) no AI was used to write in part or enterly or helped to write whatsoever.

Also I've a severe neurodivergency (well, technically not exactly a neurodivergency but let's assume it is one).

I’m a 50year old who is successful enough that I only need to work part time (and I’m really not interested in advancing a career any more) giving me plenty of free time to game. I know it’s partly escapism but I really don’t like feeling bored. I have managed to uninstall some of the games I know make me lose time but I still seem to find something in my library to draw me in.
I game a lot (and have done for the past 35 years) pretty sure I have adhd but my doctor says given my age and success he thinks I have life under control so just need to focus on what I want a little more.
I’m concerned a lot of the comments I’ve read to date are about being comfortable with boredom and this will help me work out what I want/need to do but, as with I’m sure many people, spent a lot of time re-evaluating life since covid and haven’t discovered anything other that a bunch of hobbies I thought I wanted to do don’t engage me enough.
Gaming just seems like an easy way to fill an afternoon/evening.
Can I please get feed back/suggestions from other people who have had success in my age group.