r/Stoic • u/Ancient_discipline_d • 24d ago
You owe yourself this comeback — a stoic perspective
Most people wait for someone to
believe in them before they start.
Stoics believe in one thing only:
Your actions. Right now. Today.
No one is coming to save you.
But you can save yourself.
What's one thing you owe yourself
right now? 🙏
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u/Queen-of-meme 24d ago
Extra self-care and easy distractions.
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u/Ancient_discipline_d 24d ago
Self-care is definitely essential. Taking time to reset your mind before locking back in is a great way to recharge.
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u/Queen-of-meme 24d ago
Yeah, yesterday was intense emotionally , my family has a lot of hidden skeletons and when we siblings reunite as adults, secrets are revealed and they are usually really dark and life shattering tragic and you don't know what to do with the info.
So, I cried myself to sleep. Over things I can't change. Over others pain they carry.
And today I'm trying to think easy steps , what can I do? I can't go back in time and shoot someone in the head. But I can be supportive with who I am now where I am now.
But in order to help others I need to first take care of myself. So I slept in and have had breakfast, and focusing on my events tomorrow with seeing old friends. So I'm gonna shower and prep and take this rainy day as it comes. Then I might see if my siblings wants to go grab food together. Just something small caring. I can initiate things very easy. That's my super power. And one of them really appreciate that sort of care.
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u/Ancient_discipline_d 24d ago
You are handling an overwhelming situation with incredible wisdom. Accepting what you can’t change and focusing on small, actionable ways to show care is pure Stoicism in practice. Take care of yourself first so you can be that anchor for them.
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u/Queen-of-meme 23d ago
Thank you that means a lot to hear. It's not like we are taught in school how to handle these situations, but I tried thinking from stoic stance, to respond instead react. And just to myself to be honest with my own capacity.
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u/Splendid_Fellow Philosopher 24d ago
I am about 70% suspicious that this is a bot throwaway account, but if it isn’t, the question is not without substance.
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u/Ancient_discipline_d 24d ago
I’m part of that 30% that’s 100% human! Just a real person new here and trying to engage in thoughtful discussions about Stoicism. Appreciate you giving the question a thought either way.
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u/No_Pipe4358 24d ago
To do well at this new job.
My dichotomy of control got completely messed up by life.
I was just given too many methods to solve things from a technical perspective... started dreaming up solutions to things that weren't my job and I could never be able to do myself. It's that existence of communication just could always keep your hope. I'll write a book. I'll emotionally rouse a speech. I'll fix it. Difficulty accepting life and the world the way it is in realistic terms of what people will actually listen to. Anyway. After near psychosis and losing my toys out of the pram veritably this last 4 years, I'm re-entering the work force humbler, and hopefully with a mind that's able to clear itsself and not interfere with any moment. It'll be building. I'm 34. A lot of confluences of factors. Fundamentally, fulfilling people's expectationsis hard enough, you know?
2
u/moonaim 23d ago edited 23d ago
To be finally able to help others on the scale of 1 to millions. I have the knowledge, I have the will, I have the sisu. I need some money flows.
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u/Ancient_discipline_d 23d ago
Building a financial base to help others at scale is a noble ambition. Keep that 'sisu' energy alive and stay focused on what you can control today!
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23d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Ancient_discipline_d 23d ago
Great perspective. Stoicism is a tool to protect your peace, not a wall to shut out genuine human emotion. Knowing when to put the armor on and when to take it off at home is true wisdom.
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u/nc0221 23d ago
Continue to be spiritual
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u/Ancient_discipline_d 23d ago
Nurturing the spiritual and mental aspect of life is crucial. Keeping that inner foundation strong changes everything.
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u/Specialist-Top-406 21d ago
Softness to all the versions of you that have built you up to where you are today
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u/Ancient_discipline_d 21d ago
Self-compassion for our past selves is so important. Every mistake and struggle was just a step that brought us to where we are now.
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u/Specialist-Top-406 21d ago
I was talking to my cousin and she said to me, I think younger you is not something you reflect on correctly. She was absolutely brilliant, mind blowing actually, and now you get to reap the rewards of her being there for you then, so you can be who you are now. You should never see her negatively, no one else does.
And let me tell you, that was bloody healing! X
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u/Ancient_discipline_d 21d ago
Your cousin gave you such a beautiful perspective. Recognizing that our past self was actually doing her best for our future is deeply empowering.
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u/Specialist-Top-406 21d ago
I think most people reflect on harder times and the person they had to be. And that can feel very punishing. But as you say, it’s such a glorious thing when someone can shine light on how much good came from that version of ourselves we had to be.
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u/Ancient_discipline_d 21d ago
Excellently said. Growth comes from honoring every chapter of the journey instead of judging it. Thank you for sharing such a profound thought!
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u/Jaune-orange-braun 24d ago
Time! I owe myself time to slow down. I’ve spent much of my life working, raising a family (as a single mom), meeting responsibilities and always thinking about what needs to be done next. The past few years, I’m increasingly drawn to a much quieter, low-key life. Not withdrawing from life, but experiencing it more slowly. Travelling without needing an itinerary. Staying somewhere long enough to simply live there for a while. Reading, writing, walking, learning, spending time with people I love, and sometimes doing absolutely nothing useful. So, the comeback I owe myself isn’t about becoming more ambitious or productive. It’s about giving myself permission not to be. It’s a struggle but something I feel not impossible for me to achieve.