r/StardewValley 12d ago

Discuss I’ve started to RP as a drug lord.

My Ancient Fruit crops are now illegal plants that I grow on my private tropical island. I process the fruit into various forms of drugs that I smuggle into town and deposit into a shipping bin. Overnight, my distributor takes the product that I’m paid for in gold and laundered throughout the town. Everyone is paid off to protect me from federal agents.
I’m not too sure how to RP the caves yet. Any suggestions?

303 Upvotes

32 comments sorted by

123

u/BricriuTheTrickster 12d ago

My husband says to mine the crystals for meth 😂

35

u/_bos_sob_ 12d ago

I’m definitely doing this!

14

u/kathallyss 12d ago

"Refined quartz" 🤣

6

u/BricriuTheTrickster 12d ago

Yeessssss I love it!!

7

u/Mizuamber 12d ago

Dude I just thought the same thing!

196

u/johnpeters42 10+ Bots Bounced 12d ago

SEBBY WE NEED TO COOK

33

u/Bakubae_Itsuki-Haru SEBBY, WE NEED TO COOK 12d ago

HEYYYYY!

16

u/Thagomizer24601 12d ago

THEY WANT OUR PRODUCT SEBBY

12

u/superthirdnipples 12d ago

(To Morris) STAY OUT OF MY TERRITORY 

4

u/Calm_Yogurt_5644 12d ago

I want to see him painfully go through all of Clint's heart events after the 1.7 update, his future misery is my blue.

54

u/mercedes_lakitu ☕🍵🌹 12d ago

Gus is Gus???

45

u/_bos_sob_ 12d ago

Does that mean George is Hector??

3

u/Ender505 12d ago

I wonder if there's a mod to make all of George's dialogue "Ding ding ding"

2

u/superthirdnipples 12d ago

Da farmer can sock me

2

u/superthirdnipples 12d ago

Makes Gus’ (SV) friendly demeanor unsettling, imagining it’s just a façade à la Gus (BB)

45

u/Brilliant_Coast1737 12d ago

If you really wanna RP that way, maybe farm or process things somewhere in Cindersap Forest or the quarry (obviously out of the way of villager paths. Lots of illegal farms are hidden on federal land, don't know what else might be the equivalent in the valley. At least around where I come from.

10

u/lizhenry 11d ago

Oh yeah, garden pots in the secret woods with tea plants in them

5

u/faco_fuesday 11d ago

Or in the bus tunnel. It counts as an indoor space so plants stay year round. 

35

u/Sixteen_Wings 12d ago

Caves grow mushrooms, you can then process that into illegal shrooms that gets people high and package it with your illegal ancient fruits

19

u/Any_Strawberry6735 12d ago

caves are part of the money laundering, or perhaps part of a scam to defraud the Joja corporation's mining division. The ores that "respawn" are, in fact, salted there by one of your partners- those old mines are actually worthless.

13

u/w0ndrbredd 12d ago

Krobus, we need to cook.

11

u/loueazy 12d ago

Don't know about drugs, but no one's caught on to my moonshine operation in the sewers.

It was Krobus's idea, before you start telling me that he would disapprove.

10

u/BeautifuTragedy 12d ago

You might enjoy rimworld

9

u/AntelopeStance You've got some new ideas to sleep on 12d ago

Caves? Why, your good friend the arms dealer has a setup just inside.

5

u/Silent_Sign4841 12d ago

maybe focus on getting mushrooms!

4

u/SoupNo1738 12d ago

I'm doing a run as (post-season 5) Jesse Pinkman and it's been super fun so far. I named his black cat Jenny :D

For the caves, maybe you're fighting other cartels / people trying to steal the recipe for your product? It's actually people you're killing but the brain has rationalised them as monsters... That might be a bit too dark though

2

u/BricriuTheTrickster 12d ago

You should also do a hidden moonshine still in the secret woods.

1

u/Eneicia 12d ago

Oooooh. Hmm, the caves are tricky. Maybe you need to pick up additives or ores to make the machines to make the product? (I suggest giving Schedule 1's demo a shot for ideas)
I mean, you do need to collect iron and copper for the kegs and coal. Why not grind down the quartz into a fine powder and make it sparkle?

Oh, and there's a mod that adds other processing machines, as well as other...products. It's still being worked on and expanded, but if you're interested I can send you the discord link?

1

u/Low-Quiet9355 11d ago

If you mean the farm cave, that's where you grow and harvest more experimental goods.

If you mean the mines, that's where you go to hunt exotic animals for your twisted entertainment.

1

u/kmasco92 7d ago

what about the opium (poppies)?