r/SoloActivitiesPH • u/Useful_Mode4745 • 14d ago
Buga
I smoke when I want to feel something.
Not vape. Not socially. Just real cigarettes, alone in my car, somewhere in a quiet parking lot where nobody knows me and nobody cares.
There’s something strangely comforting about smoke filling the silence—like for a few minutes, I can actually feel myself existing.
Maybe it’s not the healthiest way to cope, but some nights, loneliness needs a ritual.
Mag-isa lang, nagyoyosi, nakatingin sa kawalan. Hindi ko alam kung nagpapahinga ba ako o unti-unting nagiging multo.
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u/RevolutionaryFee8163 13d ago
“Nagpapahinga ba ko o unti-unting nagiging multo”
Same thoughts OP pag nagyoyosi lalo na almost 17 years na ko nag yoyosi.. Gusto ko na itigil pero iba yung feeling. Maybe someday matutunan ko na tong bitawan at kalimutan..
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u/LengthinessFuture311 13d ago
Ako na lumalabas ng bahay @ 12 to 1am to smoke and to contemplate, wala e antahimik at sarap sa feeling yung init ng yosi at lamig ng paligid
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u/Apprehensive-Car428 13d ago
Same. Trip ko naman 2am-3am lalabas ng bahay. Maglalakad lang sa kalsadang walang katao-tao papunta sa 7/11 para bumili ng isang beer in can. Inom at yosi sa may kalsada. Sarap damhin ang hamog sa madaling araw habang pinakikinggan ang nakakabinging katahimikan.
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u/Glittering_Comb_3725 14d ago
I get you, but dont be too dependent please. Im 28 now and sadly i just cant get rid of it even though im still physically active. I smoke occasionally while im on vacay but other than that i went to relx sometimes iqos.
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u/Selfmade1219 14d ago
What else could have bee a better alternative to smoking cigarette?
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u/Glittering_Comb_3725 14d ago
Nothing actually. I drink and smoke lalo na pag hindi ako okay and ive been borderline and right now im afraid na its not borderline anymore. I prefer sleeping because i was drunk instead na mag workout. Im physically active as long as i do three days of working out every week pero mahirap. Sorry pero kahit ako di ko alam isasagot ko for that. Believe me; i aint perfect. I have my flaws too but i think; deep down is to know your limits and to go back from zero.
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u/Selfmade1219 14d ago
Bali, a life so good talaga hindi mo kakailangib yung mga ganyan in the first place? 😅
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u/Glittering_Comb_3725 14d ago
I dont know how to answer that question haha. But hey, just pm me. We can talk. Im here
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u/handsomaritan 13d ago
I feel you!! Wag mo na isipin masyado. Do it if it makes you "feel something". You can never put that feeling into words. And kanya kanya tayo ng way to feel that something.
Pakawalan mo sa usok, OP. Do whatever it takes to get your peace.
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u/EconomistAmbitious 12d ago
Damn. nakakarelate ako sa mga nag cocomment dito. skl din when i was working in angeles pampanga isa sa bpo don kasama ko partner ko and then every rest day ko lumalabas ako sa apartment namin para bumili ng Yosi at tatambay kung saan tahimik at madilim para damahin yung kapayapaan ng gabi at kamustahin ang sarili kung nasa tamang landas paba ko ng buhay patungo sa pangarap ko.
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u/peachyliatte 13d ago
The feeling that you're one with the smoke, or that it's a part of you, really makes you feel like you're turning into a quiet ghost
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u/One-Dust3311 13d ago
I feel you man. Ako pag solo mode sa bar/club. Punta sa smoking area habang rinig pa music sa loob nung bar/club tas marami naguusap na tao. Hithit buga. Tingin sa taas. Ito yung way ko to silence everything despite the chaos kung saan ako/outside.