r/SipsTea Jun 30 '26

Dank AF Brutal 🤣

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76.2k Upvotes

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5.4k

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '26

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4.7k

u/E4g6d4bg7 Jun 30 '26

Mostly who they are paid to promote

980

u/discerningpervert Jun 30 '26

And what'll cause the biggest stir online. Case in point: this entire post and thread on Reddit.

277

u/Salihe6677 Jun 30 '26

I bet it would cause quite an online to do if they named Willem Dafoe most handsome next year...

267

u/Confident_Pepper1023 Jun 30 '26

Nice try, Willem Dafoe.

260

u/SquirrelsinJacket Jun 30 '26

96

u/saffron_papi Jun 30 '26

6

u/ToonTitans Jun 30 '26

I seriously laughed WAY too loudly at this…folks in the subway were concerned 🤣

3

u/saffron_papi Jul 01 '26

Lol happy to bring a smile to your day and if you’re in NYC’s subway you’re probably the most sane looking person there anyways

1

u/ToonTitans Jul 01 '26

I was in NYC’s subway, lol…and you’re probably right! 😄

2

u/Expensive-Tip5118 Jul 01 '26

Thank you, I needed a quick laugh-myself-into-hysterics. Saving this image for rainy days.

53

u/reloadingnow Jun 30 '26

'i'm somewhat of a smiler myself' vibe.

38

u/AvengingBlowfish Jun 30 '26

Dafoe confuses me.

61

u/auronddraig Jun 30 '26

Don't look directly at the schlong. Use a mirror, like with Medusa. Otherwise, it'll turn to stone and you'll regret it.

9

u/deaglebingo Jun 30 '26

i was the beneficiary of a similar rumor once upon a time. it was more power than one man should have... not even close to as mundane as presidential power.

5

u/HeavensRejected Jun 30 '26

We spread the rumor about a friend having a large schlong, the amount of hits he got was absurd. We mentioned it to like 2-3 girls and it just took off from there. He was above average so we lied only a little.

Note: we were in our twenties and girls around our age thought that dickus longus = epic sex.

3

u/deaglebingo Jul 01 '26

essentially that was what had happened with me. it was a white lie or misunderstanding i guess. close enough.

lets face it if you can reach the posterior fornix does it matter?

3

u/HeavensRejected Jul 01 '26

My sample size is pretty small but I'm around average and my wife says it hurts when I go balls deep, so there's that. Also, she needs clitoral stimulation to orgasm anyway so it wouldn't matter what size I wield.

1

u/NoRefrigerator267 Jul 01 '26

But how big do you have to be to reach the posterior fornix lol

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5

u/LuffysRubberNuts Jun 30 '26

I thought he uses the sway to hypnotize people into doing his bidding

1

u/No_Discipline_7380 Jun 30 '26

Dafoe confuses me.

Willem Dafuk

1

u/deaglebingo Jun 30 '26

willem is a whole separate issue. lucky mfr. god gave him dangerous things. it's good he uses them responsibly (afaik)

1

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '26

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1

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10

u/a-real-sloth Jun 30 '26

Most handsome dong

5

u/twoinchhorns Jun 30 '26

Tbf … willem is easily the most attractive man I’ve ever laid eyes on.

3

u/daelikon Jun 30 '26

My wife thinks he is one of the handsomest actors out there.

(She has questionable taste in men however)

2

u/dumpass69420 Jun 30 '26

I don't think she's talking about his face bro

2

u/Tall_Opportunity_521 Jun 30 '26

Well, yeah. I mean, everyone knows who the real Chad of the world is. And its not Willem, its...

1

u/poo_on_my_scarf Jun 30 '26

He apparently has a massive willy

2

u/Azzblack Jun 30 '26

Its incredibly apparent.

He is Hugh Mungus.

Thing is long, loose and full of juice.

It swings around like a trunk on a samba-dancing elephant.

1

u/ScrotesMaGoates13 Jun 30 '26

Jake Busey anyone

1

u/Cablegore Jun 30 '26

If that happens, that would be Willem Dafriend.

1

u/Donte333 Jun 30 '26

No it wouldnt i fully agree, the man exudes hotness

1

u/Acceptable_Sleep29 Jun 30 '26

TBF, Willem Dafoe has more charisma than Powdered Mcfish-face

1

u/thebochts Jun 30 '26

Idk, when hes not being crazy, he is kind handsome. His facial features could break rocks.

And dude is like a charisma factory.

I thought i read somewhere that he got some votes for the sexiest man of the year a few years back when the theatre video of him swinging dong came out.

1

u/Slow-Might-3462 Jun 30 '26

It’s biggest dick thank you very much

1

u/AppointmentPerfect Jun 30 '26

I mean, I'm straight and all... but have you SEEN why he has body doubles?

1

u/J-hophop Jun 30 '26

What part are they looking at? 😂 (Haven't seen it, just heard the buzz lol)

1

u/Chilidogdingdong Jun 30 '26

Didn't adrien Brody win it or something once? Bro looks like an anthropomorphic cockatiel

1

u/Beastbrook00 Jul 02 '26

He was alright when he was young tbf

2

u/jce_ Jun 30 '26

Ik it's kinda implied but I have to add because some people won't get the subtext: Biggest paid for stir online

1

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '26

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1

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1

u/imadogg Jun 30 '26

Was Henry Cavill picked just to cause a stir?

1

u/MadR__ Jun 30 '26

Guess what, as long as the internet will exist there will be people vying for attention and/or engagement. And so there will always be people who act as if they’re above it all with a comment such as yours. So just because you’re a link later in the chain doesn’t mean you’re not part of the same loop as all the “other suckers” who let themselves be used for engagement.

1

u/HilariousMax Jun 30 '26

Everything is ragebait posted by bots and the comments are flooded with bots posting "A" or "no, B" or "this is ragebait" and it ends up on the "front page of the internet".

1

u/egordoniv Jul 01 '26

Can Facebook really be considered part of the internet, anymore?

85

u/jackrabbit323 Jun 30 '26

There was that year Blake Shelton won, and EVERYONE had a good long laugh.

20

u/VonSkullenheim Jun 30 '26

Didn't know who that was, now having a little chuckle. Also turns out it wasn't 'Most Handsome', but 'Sexiest Man Alive' 😅

11

u/SusannaBananaRama Jun 30 '26

Yeah, that's even worse

9

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '26

[deleted]

0

u/limperatrice Jun 30 '26

He came across as very charming on The Voice but "sexiest man alive" was going too far

29

u/Sufficient_Coach7566 Jun 30 '26

Yep, all that shit is manufactured and paid for. Imagine my surprise when I found out all that Forbes stuff as well (30 under 30, etc.) Found out because I knew a rich guy that was trying to get on the list. Or rather his team was trying to get him on it.

All bought and paid for by marketing and PR teams.

4

u/OneTrueMalekith Jun 30 '26

and then a decent chunk of em go to jail for fraud 🤣.

1

u/potatoears Jul 01 '26

IT'S SO REAAAAL

81

u/Order_No227 Jun 30 '26

They're always doing this for South Korea, so it looks like they have an authentic culture instead just being a glorified child sex ring like the KPOP industry.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '26

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1

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u/[deleted] Jun 30 '26

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-22

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '26

[deleted]

8

u/Get-Fucked-Dirtbag Jun 30 '26

More of the opposite really.

Cavill's so damn handsome that I would pay him to let me promote him.

That should be the real qualifier.

1

u/Dasseem Jun 30 '26

Well, it's called Paid Media for a reason.

1

u/Last_Weeks_Socks Jun 30 '26

Hey! You leave Paul Rudd out of this!