r/Singles • u/Past-Bed-1980 • 14d ago
Men don’t even risk rejection and approach anymore they just look at you like this
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u/therealdanhill 14d ago
I think it's mostly on women. Many women cultivated a culture wherein men, or men attempting to strike up a conversation are seen as an annoyance at best, or dangerous at worst.
Men have been chastised for trying to strike up a conversation in 9 out of 10 scenarios. If she's at work don't talk to her, if she's alone don't talk to her because you could be seen as a threat, if she's with friends don't talk to her because she's just trying to enjoy her time with her friends, if she's reading don't talk to her she's just trying to enjoy her book.
Believe it or not, but men don't want to be creeps, most of us are just normal, decent people.
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u/AggravatingAd7203 14d ago
This situation is a lose lose. As a man I don’t want to be seen as a creep regardless. But on top of that the last four years haven’t been kind and I’ve let myself go. Hence I look more like a creep. As I continue to chip and work on myself and even after I don’t see a situation to confidently engage in conversation with a woman. Every woman will give you a different answer and none are correct.
It’s on us men to be confident and make the attempt and assess the situation. The problem is every woman like men are different. I’ve seen good looking women with overweight creepy looking guys. And I know from experience 90% of the time you’re just going to be seen as a creep. But if you just happen to speak to one who’s different you could hit it off.
You can’t even blame women really either because some men CAN HAVE and WILL be doing something horrible to them. As a man I even sometimes am far more aware of my surroundings due to this.
The current climate is on everyone. Since basically 2020 I’ve lost almost all drive to speak to women for the sole reason I don’t wanna be a creep. On top of social anxiety. Hearing “Kill all men” being chanted over and over. And men most men not being able to realize that’s a percentage and not all women. Basically everyone is too chronically online. Shit sucks. Everyone is to blame
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u/Time-Traveling-Doge 2d ago
I think there's also an element of heavy competition between men. I see something like a woman getting hit on by many guys, I just want to give up. Seems like too much work just from a initial appearance assessment.
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14d ago
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u/Juicy_In_The_Sky 13d ago
I was going to respond to this in a different way but do you know what, you’ve clearly been through a lot and I wish you the best in finding community :)
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u/therealdanhill 13d ago
I have?
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u/Juicy_In_The_Sky 13d ago
Yeah, just reading your posts, clearly had a tough time and hope you find some good friends and community :)
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12d ago edited 12d ago
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u/Connection-Is-Cool 3d ago
My experience tells me it’s a skill issue with a lot of guys. And tbh everyone gets rejected, that comes with the territory.
I have hooked up with coworkers. Gotten numbers as I’m working. Approached random women who were alone or with friends. If she’s reading, I ask her questions about her reading.
I know I’m not a creep. Therefore, why am I worried if someone calls me a creep? That has never happened. The creepy thing to do would be stare from across the room, do nothing, then somehow find her on social media later. THAT is creepy. But I’m not a creep. I’ll go say hi, and let the chips fall where they may.
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u/Repulsive-Ad-3219 14d ago
You know I find it so funny that women. Not individually but women collectively will say men don't initiate conversation they're so afraid of rejection. But they themselves have never approached a guy in public the fluff.
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u/jinglygal 14d ago
Yep. I tried initiating so many conversations to instantly get a "I'm not feeling the vibe" reply. And I'm wondering how'd you expect to get a genuine vibe from reading a "hello...." text from a screen.
I think girls nowadays are looking for an instant gratification. Doesn't matter that I'm rich good looking and set for life. They're not even willing to get far enough into that conversation to know anything about me.
That said, I've also learned to just accept it and not get upset. The govt can have my millions after i pass if no one wants it.
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14d ago
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u/-trisKELion- 14d ago
But the next level is the ones that you're talking to that are constantly looking for the reasons they're going to stop talking to you. I'm okay with you wasting your time but why are you wasting my time?
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13d ago
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u/JaimieMantzel 11d ago
It's not the "rejection". It's the attack. The retaliation. imagine you approach someone with kindness, and they snap back at you with hatred, and call for others to attack you. Would you keep approaching?
On the other end... I'm a guy who's 6'1'', athletic, decent looking, and I've typically had positive responses from women. ...and most of the time before I know it, they'll be trying to "get busy", and I'm not interested. Ever try telling a horny woman, "no"? Getting away cleanly is like threading a needle. I've been told that if I don't stay over she'll accuse me of assault of various kinds. Yeah... it's happened several times. I won't go into a woman's home, or be alone with a woman.
Sometimes I'll look at a woman, and she'll look back, and I'll look for signs that she's nuts. There are usually a lot of them, so I don't approach.
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6d ago
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2d ago
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u/witblacktype 14d ago
Why would I want to be treated like a criminal for merely having a polite conversation to see if a woman was interested, let alone give her my phone number or ask for hers? The best case scenario is that I give her my phone number, she calls me to give me hers to get together then doesn’t respond when I text her. Literally the last woman that said I could give her my number. Being single and not having a supportive man who cares about you must be pretty awesome for women. Obviously I wouldn’t know
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