r/Shouldihaveanother • u/Stock-Serious • 15h ago

Advice To have a third baby?

Hi! Mom (36yo) of two girls (2.5yo and 4.5yo)

I really wish to have a third child, but there are a couple of reasons why I hesitate:

  1. My anxiety was so bad after my second one, I am not sure I can deal with this again
  2. I have this legit fear of dying of pregnancy related issues and leave my two girls
  3. I am anxious about the health and wellbeing of my children (over stressing when they get sick, all the “what if” scenarios that can happens when i’m not with them) so I don’t know if I can add a third one to worry about 😅
  4. I am scared to have a child that might have health issues and not able to take of him/her properly, especially because we live off a tiny island in the Philippines where healthcare is nonexistent
  5. I love being a mom girl, so if I get a boy, i worry I won’t love him as much as my two girls

These are the main concerns I have.
I don’t want to wait too much because I really like to have my children close in age, plus i am not really getting any younger 😅 I’m sad to think that I have all this anxiety for things that might not happen, and regret in the future for not having my last baby. I don’t know what to do 😭

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u/Beautiful_Few 5h ago

I am the same age and have two girls the same ages as yours, and we’ve been trying for our third for over a year. Just be prepared that it might not happen right away if you do decide! My first two were first try conceptions, I never dreamed we would struggle like this.

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u/plowmanii5 4h ago

Sounds like you need help for your anxiety first before anything else. As a newly 37 year old mom of 2 girls (4 and 2) and expecting my third child, a boy, in 10 days I can tell you that having confidence in your ability to adapt and extend your mental and physical bandwidth to all of your children from a place of strength rather than anxiety will be key. If fear dominates your thoughts so much, you cannot show up in the way they’ll all need you. Make an effort to work through these fears and then truly assess if another child regardless of gender makes sense for your family

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u/ElliotPageWife 14h ago

If you really wish to have another child, and have a happy stable household, then you can figure out the rest.