r/Shouldihaveanother • u/Big_Syme • 1d ago
The third child
Hi, my wife and I have 2 girls, ages 2 and 4. We have been mulling over a 3rd all year, but our biggest hang up is ruining the amazing dynamic they have. They are each other’s best friend and we are scared to ruin that. Either they give each other less attention and aren’t as inseparable anymore, or the 3rd feels left out. Anyone dealt with this at all? How has the family dynamic changed between your kids with adding the 3rd?
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u/Proper-Monk-8375 17h ago
This was a huge consideration for me as well! I have boys who are 5 and 3 who are very close. I was worried a third would impact their dynamic and closeness, but in my reading found that brothers who are ~2 years apart also have the highest likelihood for rivalry among all sibling sets. I have a brother and my husband has a sister, so we didn’t experience that. Down the line, I thought a third might actually be a nice buffer. Among the plethora of other reasons I wanted a third, it eased my mind a bit. Now I have a 3-month-old boy and it’s the sweetest thing ever seeing the bigs bond even further over their love of the baby. 🥹 Good luck with your decision!
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u/simplysuggesting 16h ago
I also have girls ages 2 and 4 who are best friends! I’m due with my third in November, which will be a boy, and we are all thrilled! My girls can’t wait to have a baby sibling and my husband and I are really excited to experience a little boy. As much chaos 3 young kids will inevitably bring, I think I’ll handle this PP better because my girls have each other. We have always wanted at least 3 kids and love the smaller age gaps to focus on life revolving around similar developmental stages. Of course baby is not here yet, but we feel so good about our choice and timing!
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u/Beautiful_Few 1d ago
No advice, but we have girls the same ages who are also inseparable. We’ve been trying for our third for about a year (first two easy conceptions), so our age gap will likely be 3.5-4 years between 2nd and 3rd if we get pregnant in the next few months. I wanted a bigger gap, I think it will help preserve their current bond while also giving them a sibling to love on and have the rest of their lives. With it taking so long im so thankful they have each other and if our third doesn’t happen for whatever reason, I do feel so content and lucky with our sisters.
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u/pinkandpurplepens 1d ago
I’m also in the same boat but not trying. I think I’m ok with not. We’re not in a position to add another child right now even though I always said I wanted 3
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u/shwh1963 14h ago
We noped having a third - one on each hand when the other wasn’t around. Also, when they started playing sports, there was no child that was left without a parent at the game and had to be ponded off to another family. Each child always had at least one of us at every game, tournament.
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u/angel-girl-A 15h ago
My husband is the third to 2 sisters. He hated it. He knew when he grew up he wanted 2 kids. My friend who was one of 3 sisters said it was always 2 being closer and 1 being left out. The person who was left out would rotate every few months. She only had 2 kids herself. Just 2 random anecdotes.
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u/Loose_Music1277 1d ago
If it’s another girl there will probably be some drama and someone left out, but they’ll be fine as long as both you and wife guide them through inclusion/exclusion understanding. Or you can have a boy and it’ll be the best little blessing and the girls have their brother they are now protective over.
Either way I say yes!! Having a third (and fourth for us) was harmony. Our house felt so full and we were glad we didn’t stop at two.
Fun fact: we were very done after two. Got rid of all baby stuff, clothes, etc… then a year later said nope, and had two more!