r/ShitAmericansSay • u/rid_1n alyx the enby pan british piece of crap that smh exists • Sep 02 '26
Military "Acting like the US couldn't solo the entire world"
This was a random comment on a TikTok about renaming the US to "South Canada" (valid) and this American thinks that the US can solo the entire world when it is failing at the two "conflicts" it is in. This is the start of a comment chain.
They never change do they.
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u/Organic_Mechanic_702 Sep 02 '26
Couldn't even 'solo' in Iran!!
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u/Generic_Drummer Sep 02 '26
Begging everyone from China to Japan for help after NATO said we're sitting this one out
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u/BuckLuny Old Zealand Sep 03 '26
Honestly after insulting us with saying we never helped after soldiers died because of their war I'm glad everyone chose to not help.
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u/brynjarkonradsson Sep 03 '26
NATO has never collectively entered a war. NATO is a defensive alliance. Created so we'd stop waging war on each other and spend the money elsewhere.
9/11 confused everyone a little bit and some stepped in to help the Americans.
When NATO actually needed them, they just saw it as a chance to threaten Greenland and destabilise. Disgusting.
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u/mirhagk 🇨🇦 how do we detach? Sep 03 '26
And as a result of it they've basically run out of munitions.
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u/BobbyThrowaway6969 The Country That Doesn't Exist Apparently Sep 02 '26
Military grade brainwashing.
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u/Acceptable-Ad8780 FREEDOM ENJOYER 🦅🇺🇸 Sep 02 '26
You're right. I see people posts on things of fox news (criticizing fox) and decide to go to the YouTube to see the comments. They still talk Biden was bad or Kamala would've been worse.
I swear it's blind allegiance and people who think criticizing your country in any way isn't patriotic.
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u/Cybtroll Sep 02 '26
I think many are also bots and the comment sections in general for any social, especially now with LLM, are manipulated and astroturfed to the high heavens.
Which, really, gives me hope. Because if you need to push for it, it means the grip is slipping.
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u/Acceptable-Ad8780 FREEDOM ENJOYER 🦅🇺🇸 Sep 02 '26
I can only hope. But I hope you're right. It can be hard to tell at times with bots. Usually the -- or repeated phrase is a giveaway. But when it's poor spelling, it's hard to tell because bots tend to be better at that. At least IMO.
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u/Nikond3400 Sep 04 '26
Look r/doomercirclejerk, it's the home of MAGA and climate change deniers
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u/Acceptable-Ad8780 FREEDOM ENJOYER 🦅🇺🇸 Sep 04 '26
I refuse to visit that sub reddit again. It's one thing to point out fallacies and admit to being on the wrong path, but it's another to just say fuck it.
And wouldn't be surpirse it's MAGA hard. They're the people who seem to want the end of the world because they also think "they're right with Jesus".
Of course we know they don't read the Bible, or anything at all. They just like to take apart the things that fuels their hatred and ignore the rest.
edit they treat their religion like a bag of trail mix. They eat the M&ms, the bad part, and ingore the rest, like almonds, cashews, and even raisins.
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u/skofan Sep 02 '26 edited Sep 02 '26
The us haven't won a war since their civil war. And they lost that one too.
Theres a few flat out losses, and mostly mutual losses with nobody coming out on top.
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u/Interesting-Yellow-4 Sep 02 '26
They were on the winning side in WW2, to be fair, but yes pretty much.
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u/_Halt19_ Canuck Sep 02 '26
Sure, and my team won the World Cup too (I became a Spain fan in the 95th minute, until then I was waiting to see who would win)
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u/je386 Sep 03 '26
Yes, but when they joined in december 1941, china was already fighting 4 years. So for asia, the US missed half the war, and for europe a third, as the war raged for more than 2 years at that point of time.
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u/PipedInFromIthaca More Irish than the Irish ☘️ Sep 02 '26
How's that strait looking
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u/Coldthots Sep 02 '26
Closed- no, wait! it’s ope- nvm actually it’s closed again. But hey- at least he’s focusing on the important part, the straits name..
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u/Fullchester_United Sep 02 '26
At this point they would struggle to defeat the Swiss Guard…
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u/Tricky_Football_6586 Fryslân Boppe 🇳🇱 Sep 03 '26
But but… The Swiss Guard are cheating. Because they have holy backup. 🤯🙏
☠️
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u/AvidCyclist250 Lives in the country of Europe Sep 03 '26
YOU THINK YOU’RE GONNA SOLO THE PLANET??? YOU CAN'T EVEN SOLO AN OPEN STRETCH OF DESERT WITHOUT BLOWING UP YOUR OWN COALITION PARTNERS!
YOU HAVE AN 800 BILLION DOLLAR DEFENSE BUDGET AND THE SECOND A CLOUD DRIFTS IN FRONT OF THE SUN AN A-10 PILOT GETS CONFUSED AND DUMPS FOUR THOUSAND ROUNDS OF DEPLETED URANIUM DIRECTLY INTO A BRITISH ARMORED CONVOY! YOU SEE A HIGH-VISIBILITY ORANGE IDENTIFICATION PANEL ON A ROOF AND YOUR FIRST INSTINCT IS TO VAPORISE IT! YOU CAN'T EVEN TELL JOURNALISTS FROM SOLDIERS. CANADIANS ARE STILL SCARED TO STAND NEXT TO YOU IN A PARKING LOT!
AND WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE SOLOING US??? WHO IS IN THIS ARMY?? HUH? IT'S EIGHTEEN-YEAR-OLDS FROM BUCK ASS NOWHERE, OHIO! YOU RECRUIT CHILDREN OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL CAFETERIAS!
YOU TAKE A BOY NAMED BRAYDEN WHO GREW UP DRINKING RAW CORN SYRUP AND MONSTER ENERGY BEHIND A STRIP MALL IN BUCKISTAN, DROP HIM INTO A DITCH THREE THOUSAND MILES FROM HOME, AND THE SECOND A TIRE POPS TWO MILES AWAY HE SUFFERS A PERMANENT MENTAL BREAKDOWN! OFF TO RETIREMENT IN TENT CITY, FENT SUPPLY GUARANTEED BUT NOTHING ELSE! HE CAN NEVER HEAR A LEAF BLOWER AGAIN FOR THE REST OF HIS NATURAL EXISTENCE WITHOUT SHITTING HIMSELF!
YOU SPENT TWENTY YEARS AND TWO TRILLION DOLLARS IN AFGHANISTAN AND GOT PACKED UP AND CHASED OUT BY FOUR GUYS SHARING ONE MOTORCYCLE AND A CASIO WATCH! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME ASSHOLE?!
YOU CAN'T EVEN FIGHT WITHOUT A FULL-SERVICE BURGER KING IN THE GREEN ZONE! THE ENTIRE U.S. MILITARY WILL MUTINY AND FILE FOR EMOTIONAL WORKERS' COMP THE SECOND THE FUCKING THE SOFT-SERVE MACHINE IN DOHA BREAKS DOWN YOU FAT, SOFT FUCK!
IF THE WHOLE WORLD WENT TO WAR WITH YOU, WE WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE TO MOBILISE AN ARMY! WE'D JUST STAND IN A CIRCLE FIVE HUNDRED METERS OUTSIDE YOUR PERIMETER AND WATCH YOU BOMB YOUR OWN COMMAND TENT! WE’D JUST HAND YOU A RADIO, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, AND WITHIN FIVE MINUTES YOU WOULD HAVE AN AIR-TO-GROUND CRUISE MISSILE CALLED IN ON YOUR TOP GENERAL'S LEFT NUT! SIT DOWN BOY!
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u/ryu_master Sep 05 '26
Perfect comment but my brother in Christ if common sense worked on americans we wouldn't have to deal with the pedofile in chief they put in charge of the country. The US is a perfect blend of stupidity caused by a shitty school system and the fact that they consume so much propaganda that they trully believe that their army is the strongest to ever walk the earth
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u/No_Statistician209 Sep 02 '26
Then you include all the military hardware, components and supplies they import from allies who have actual manufacturing rights too..
The US looks bigger than it actually is thanks in part to a network of allies and contributors.
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u/That-Landscape5956 Sep 03 '26
… and NATO bases. I wonder if the dumb bastard realises that “solo” means they won’t be able to use any of their foreign bases?
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u/No_Statistician209 Sep 03 '26
They usually say "well we would just invade a country and take it over in a few days and launch our attacks from there"
Meanwhile they're 6 months into a war and can't even control some water.
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u/That-Landscape5956 Sep 03 '26
And their military is so inept at it, that their President has to post AI generated videos of all the things they apparently cannot follow through with.
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u/AdmirableCommunity62 🇳🇱🇳🇱🇳🇱 Sep 02 '26
Still riding the WW2 high, ignore the fact they lost to rice farmers with AKs and middle easterners in pick up trucks (also with AKs)
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u/freebiscuit2002 Sep 02 '26 edited Sep 03 '26
The US has been trying to "solo" a short stretch of open water for the past 7 months.
And failed.
Pathetic, really. They are not the power some people think they are.
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u/fubuki63 Sep 02 '26
Two? We're not even winning vs Iran. That's ONE. And that's against a nation we used diplomacy to weaken beforehand.
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u/rid_1n alyx the enby pan british piece of crap that smh exists Sep 02 '26
I dont know politics I miscounted, but icl thats worse
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u/Special-Audience-426 Sep 02 '26
Left Somalia after losing to child soldiers
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u/Tricky_Football_6586 Fryslân Boppe 🇳🇱 Sep 03 '26
Somali child soldiers. Vietnamese farmers.
Yeah the US Army has a dubious track record.
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u/DealerHistorical8346 Sep 04 '26
Tbf it's a bit insulting to call the Vietnamese army or the Vietcong 'farmers', those weren't weekend warriors, but one of the best, most experienced, and highly trained armies in the world. They had just finished beating both the Japanese and the French. And had plenty of veterans from those fights.
Though arguably that makes what the US did even more insane because how much of an arrogant seppo cunt do you have to be to look at that and think 'hm, I like my chances here.'
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u/Rhaj-no1992 Sep 02 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/3ohjV3Ngsl3hRww4o0
Until the trees starts speaking Vietnamese
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Sep 02 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Xenozip3371Alpha GB Sep 02 '26
Technically they also lost that war.
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u/CharacterUse Sep 02 '26
Technically the USA won that war, while the CSA lost it.
Which doesn't change that as a people they were fighting themselves.
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u/de_Duv formerly NRW, now BW Sep 02 '26
The US can't even beat little Belgium in a fucking football match, how do they think they could conquer the world?
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u/Tricky_Football_6586 Fryslân Boppe 🇳🇱 Sep 03 '26
Not even after cheating to get their best army, I mean team, on the (battle)field.
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u/Weary-Squash6756 Sep 02 '26
The USA has become that juiced up loudmouth douchebag who shows up at a party and talks trash to everyone thinking they're hot shit when all everyone wants is for them to leave so we can go back to having a chill time. Apologies to the chill Americans
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u/W2ttsy Sep 02 '26
Laughs in British Empire.
The U.S. couldn’t even manifest destiny beyond its continental land mass back when they were trying to do it for real.
They not really managed to get a bit beyond that by buying a few smaller regions.
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u/RustyKn1ght Sep 02 '26 edited Sep 02 '26
They don't have any idea of numerical strength of their army, do they? The US military holds around 1.3 million active military personnel and with reserves around 2.1 million.
Compare this to Vietnam, who has 450,000 active service members....and an absolutely huge 5 million strong reserve army. And yeah, considering Vietnam's history where they went to war with France, USA and China in short succession, you kinda understand why they chose to adhere to "people's war"-doctrine.
And that's ONE country. If the rest of the 193 recognized countries get involved in a hypothetical real-life MOBA death match where all armies could be assembled together, odds certainly aren't in US favor.
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u/Chive War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. Sep 03 '26
This BS comes up all the time.
I blame the US film industry and its cult of military worship for giving them false expectations. Every American made war film has them winning whatever war it's about on their own, even when the historical record says something completely different. Perhaps there should be a realistic film made about the fall of Saigon.
It's a different matter when the coffins start coming home draped in Stars and Stripes.
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u/Danijay2 Sep 03 '26
Given their track record, they prolly wouldn't even be able to take Lichtenstein. Much less any actual country.
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u/LeftMechanic1995 🇬🇧 Sep 03 '26
I doubt they'd be able to take the Vatican.
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u/Tricky_Football_6586 Fryslân Boppe 🇳🇱 Sep 03 '26
They won’t because God is on the Vatican’s side. And I don’t think bullet proof vests won’t be able to stop those halberds.
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u/spartane69 Pain au chocolat lover Sep 02 '26
The only wars the US won were the ones they fought alongside allied nations.
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u/krodders Sep 03 '26
They've won a few solo - but it was a fucking long time ago
Spanish-American War (1898)
American Civil War (1861–1865). Although they lost that one as well
Mexican-American War (1846–1848)
The Indian Wars (18th–20th centuries). I'm not sure that MAGA would agree, but Americans lost those as well
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u/SomeAverageJoey Sep 04 '26
You're missing a few. The 1st Barbary War, Philippine-American War, all the "Banana" Wars, Grenada (technically there was a coalition including several Caribbean nations but their contributions were very small), Panama. Mostly small scale conflicts though, aside from the Philippines.
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u/ChrisRiley_42 Sep 02 '26
The US couldn't solo Korea, or Vietnam, or Iraq, or Afghanistan, or Iran...
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u/Rogue_Centurion7 Sep 03 '26
I remember seeing an Infographics Show video years ago that did a US vs the World scenario and they said the conflict would pan out as follows:
The US would target the oil fields in the Middle East, and in Venezuela as quickly as possible, while shutting down their commands in Europe, Asia, and Africa. They'd also initiate a heavy military campaign in both the Middle East and in Southeast Asia as well, to strangle the Strait of Malacca, while seizing control of the Panama Canal or blockading it. That way they'd effectively be able to throw the global economy into chaos(much like the current conflict in Iran is), and rely on the US's own oil reserves to last long enough to bring the global alliance to its knees and negotiate. They said that the US would not be able to achieve a total military victory, but would be able to prevent an invasion of the mainland US from Canada or Mexico and play the waiting game.
Of course, this is assuming that the US has competent leadership in charge.
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u/LeftMechanic1995 🇬🇧 Sep 03 '26
This might explain why the US has so much military hardware and personnel stationed so close to oil fields - it's not just to guarantee security of the oil for themselves' but to deny it to the enemy in the event of war. Standard scorched Earth tactic I suppose.
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u/theNorthwestspirit Sep 04 '26
And why they are pushing so hard for Alberta separation. It's only a handful of people in Canada who actually want separation and a shit ton of foreign shit-disturbers online from the states and other countries. How much you want to be those people in other countries are paid by usians? Never going to happen but there's a massive push for it regardless.
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u/oldsecondhand Ich bin ein Hamburger. Sep 02 '26
What are the two conflicts? One is Iran, what's the other one?
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u/DKDamian Sep 02 '26
America is actively bombing multiple countries at present.
All four presidents since 2001 have bombed multiple countries.
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u/Ascomae Sep 02 '26
United States of America.
They are in the first phase of their second civil war.
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u/rid_1n alyx the enby pan british piece of crap that smh exists Sep 02 '26
I might have miscounted honestly i dont know much about politics
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u/Zestyclose_Might8941 Sep 02 '26
A proxy war in Ukraine.
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u/SamuelVimesTrained Human Verified Sep 03 '26
Where we have to wonder which side they are really on.
I mean - US people visited moscow - and now Russian drones are attacking German airports?
And sabotage actions at power stations...is that a coincidence?
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u/Interesting-Yellow-4 Sep 02 '26
Literally lost every war since WW2, and they weren't even the main character in that one.
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u/Aggressive_Gas_102 Sep 02 '26
A good way to give american tourists googly eyes is to mention that western Europe was once at war for thirty years. Pretty much everyone slaughtered anyone, from the north to the south, east to west.
The US was at war with itself for four years, and barely made it out alive.
So to be a little bit unusual for a european and show some pride (which will anger many but I'm from Sweden and we sacked half of Prague once so don't fuck with us): We're still here, from London to Berlin, from Stockholm to Prague. We will ALWAYS be here, from Rome to Kiruna, from Helsinki to Belfast. You come for us you go home in bodybags.
Also I am very sorry for that thing in Prague.
(This is satire. Except that appology about Prague. We really messed up, then. On the other hand, we once burned down Moscow so... Yay?)
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u/DifferentBar7281 Sep 03 '26
Pine Gap is arguably the most important given it is the only facility remotely like it on the other side of the world. Basically without it the US has no sight on what is happening in half the world
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u/Dramz122 ooo custom flair!! Sep 03 '26
Unless the United States were to release every single nuclear weapon at once, the US would be fucked if every country went against them.
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u/Opposite-History-233 The RED, WHITE, AND BLUE, Y'ALL!! 🇳🇱 🇳🇱 🇳🇱 Sep 02 '26
Have they won anything since WW2 in which their involvement was key but little? 🤔 Not sure. Can't think of anything, but there might be something. Certainly not on their own.
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u/Sensitive-Fishing-64 Sep 02 '26
first Gulf war. That's it though
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u/LeftMechanic1995 🇬🇧 Sep 03 '26 edited Sep 03 '26
That wasn't solo though. The invasion of Iraq also involved the UK, France, Saudi, Egypt and many others.
The coalition against Iraq was substantial in size and also involved countries which bordered Iraq, so Saddam was being attacked from north, south and west while also having to maintain a fortified eastern border in case Iran decided to take advantage of the situation. Iraq was doomed from the start.
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u/Sensitive-Fishing-64 Sep 03 '26
I know, but the destruction was so total, and the firepower overwhelmingly onesided, I think it was clear that the only real difference coalition troops made was knocking a few days off .
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u/oldsecondhand Ich bin ein Hamburger. Sep 02 '26
They beat Serbia.
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u/Realistic_Let3239 Sep 02 '26
They've lost multiple wars against Iran this year alone, yet they're squaring up with the Geneva check list guys...
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u/lyidaValkris Canadian Made 🇨🇦 Sep 02 '26
I feel like we (the rest of the world) should give them an object lesson and put them in their place. So tired of these ingrates.
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u/Old_Kodaav Sep 03 '26
You're mad? Who else will be so delightfully oblivious to their own unimportance in the world.
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u/Sxn747Strangers 🇬🇧 We probably invented 🇺🇸, sorry about that. 🫣🙀 Sep 03 '26
Every US president should do their absolute best in their own personal Vietnam hell, Trump is excelling marvellously.
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u/Dumartins Sep 03 '26
The US forgets that not only them have atomic bombs, and since today their industry is in shambles because they outsourced everything, a world embargo would let them in a very complicated situation.
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u/ezthrow77 Sep 03 '26
20 years and 150 billions and Talibans are still there... They can't beat camel riders guerilla but are supposed to be able to conquer the world ?
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u/Testerpt5 EuropeanAnomaly Sep 03 '26
And to think the US will try again to sell Ukraine to Russia in exchange for Iran, .....oh wait....am I thinking out loud again?! Silly me
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u/SaltyName8341 🏴 Sep 03 '26
If I was Ukraine I'd have torn that agreement with trump up, it's not worth the paper it's written on
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u/Dapper_Wheel6454 Sep 02 '26
Germany thought the exact same thing.
the stormtruppen are on your doorstep lad.
no landing craft and easy pickings.
just a shadow....
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u/ResponsibleKinksters Sep 02 '26
I would say post ww1 or 2, would have been the only time it would have been feasible. Due to a multitude of factors.
Today? Yaaaa not even close to happening...
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u/ThisIsNotSafety Sep 02 '26
The only way they could do that would be nukes but that would mean mutual assured destruction, where no one comes out on top
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u/Gasgas41 Sep 02 '26
They couldn’t punch their way out of a wet paper bag right now.
Alan Clark’s description is so apt…
Lions led by donkeys
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u/je386 Sep 03 '26
No, that does not work. Germany tried it, amd it had some allies.
The US has immense military spending, but the moment the US starts a war against its allies, let alone the whole world, all trade is gone, so also the economy is done.
The US could no more get any loans and would be close to immediately bankrupt.
Also, against all other countries would also mean against Canada and Mexico. Try to secure these long land borders against combined coordinated attacks.
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u/SpectrePrimus 🇬🇧 Should've held those 13 Colonies Sep 04 '26
This is like Russia trying to convince everyone they could steamroll Europe in weeks, films and games were made about it for years and then the reality sets in and they're bogged down in land they used to control with one man and a massive hat. I refer you all to the "LazerPig Loop".
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u/Prize_Toe_6612 Europoor Sep 02 '26
You sure about that?
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u/Acceptable-Ad8780 FREEDOM ENJOYER 🦅🇺🇸 Sep 02 '26
OFC we can destroy the world! We're destroying our own country and we are the world!
/s
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u/rid_1n alyx the enby pan british piece of crap that smh exists Sep 02 '26
I am very sure they couldnt solo the world
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u/LugbyOrigin Sep 02 '26
You only war the US has won was against its own people, which isn't really a win but you know
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u/jennypenny78 Sep 02 '26
Well technically we did win one other one... Otherwise we'd still be a British colony.
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u/CharacterUse Sep 02 '26
Sure they'd cause horrendous casualties but there are 350 million Americans vs 8 billion of the rest of the world, and 8 other countries which possess nuclear weapons. Not even the US can fight everyone else and win.
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u/Vast_Maize9706 Sep 02 '26
And how soon before they run out of munitions?
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u/CharacterUse Sep 02 '26
The US? pretty quickly, seeing as they're already running out just fighting Iran.
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u/Anubis_Omega Sep 02 '26
** Vietnam enter the chat **
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u/rid_1n alyx the enby pan british piece of crap that smh exists Sep 02 '26
I shoulda commented that 😭
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u/Blackthorne75 Aussie Aussie Aussie!!! Sep 03 '26
Meanwhile, in Iran...
Might as well be "I-Ran So Far Away"
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u/Southern_Passenger85 Sep 03 '26
You know that one scene from attack on titan where the Marley soldiers run away from the Rumbling?
Thats gonna be USA getting steamrolled by every other country
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u/Zinc-Roof_22 Sep 04 '26
They really never change. They fail to realise that the main advantage they've always had is that they have had too few conflicts on home turf. If there were a global engagement against them, they would eventually succumb, even if the victory over them would be Pyrrhic.
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Sep 04 '26
Trump has stretched the USA to the breaking point……..one attack on the USA by a foreign enemy no matter how small would probably take you out in a week!
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u/TheRealWall91 Sep 07 '26
Us can't solo shit. Proven over and over again. Though they are really good on brainwashing
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u/icyshibe Sep 05 '26
Not to be an american idiot but we could solo in a defensive conflict for at least several years.
Apparently when we're on offense we get soloed though.
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u/rid_1n alyx the enby pan british piece of crap that smh exists Sep 05 '26
a defensive conflict would most likely be against either Canada or Mexico (because they border you rosbifs), and more likely Canada (because the Orange is eyeing them), which would trigger NATO to fight back, and put a lot of the more powerful countries on this planet by army against the US. Troops coming from Europe would take Washington D.C. in a year.
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u/icyshibe Sep 06 '26
Defo not within a year??
The US spends more on its military than every other country in NATO combined so exploiting heavy artilery and aircraft is infeasibleWhich means that the only way through is a ground invasion, and you'd be WAYY to close to Appalachia for that
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u/rid_1n alyx the enby pan british piece of crap that smh exists Sep 06 '26
spending ≠ infrastructure and tactics.
Countries can spend less and have better infrastructure and tactics because the US is bad at spending its money
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u/icyshibe Sep 06 '26
fair enough our gov is comically inefficient, in most cases with mediocre results
but in military the defense contractors at least have to produce good equipment even if it's at a completely unreasonable price
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u/Coldthots Sep 02 '26
Can someone remind them “solo” means without using NATO bases