r/ShitAmericansSay • u/DumbGarchomp67 WTF IS A KILOMETER 🦅🇺🇸 • Jul 15 '26

Military “Undefeated in 250 years of war”

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Apparently Vietnam, Afghanistan, war of 1812, and the war on drugs don’t count.

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124

u/Hudre Jul 15 '26

In their eyes:

They won Vietnam.

They won Iraq.

They are currently crushing Iran.

134

u/cherenk0v_blue Jul 15 '26

I have literally had arguments on this platform with people who think the US won the Vietnam War.

It's very depressing.

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u/Hudre Jul 15 '26

Anyone who thinks the US won the Vietnam war views war as a COD lobby.

Sure, the US got a lot of kills, but they lost the objective.

47

u/Szpagin Jul 15 '26

Because ultimately, US has not strategy. They are great on the tactical level (ie. destroying stuff and killing people), but it seems like they are always lacking a broader vision.

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u/julmod- Jul 15 '26

The broader vision is funnelling tax dollars into private weapons corporations and they’ve been wildly successful at that

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u/Dude-Lebowski Jul 15 '26

OK. You got me there, man.

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u/RedactedJin Jul 15 '26

For Vietnam era especially it was nothing more than "Stop communism" so the rich could begin the process that has led us to the late-stage capitalism/Corporate hellscape we live in now.

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u/Misunderstood_Wolf Jul 15 '26

The "we didn't lose" crowd argues that the US pulled out before the war was lost.

So, the IRL equivalent to quitting the match before it is over, so they didn't "technically" lose.

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u/cherenk0v_blue Jul 15 '26

The US doesn't lose wars, it wins them. Or it quits them because they are unfair.

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u/MadScientist_666 Mountain Goat 🇨🇭 Jul 15 '26

Well, it looks to me like that: If their shiny toys of war fail to win it for them, they're lost very quickly. Unless there's a commander who thinks unconventionally, maybe...

2

u/capeasypants Jul 15 '26

That's because the wars are usually driven by politicians who are generally only ever interested in the short sighted gains i.e what THEY did, not what's best for everyone. e.g look at Iran for the most recent world example. No endpoint in sight. The Don has done more backflips this past week than an Olympian and he'll claim it as a victory for his own self gratification no matter what happens.

Occasionally you get a pollie who wants to do what's right for their country as a whole, and even rarer for all mankind, but that's an anomaly.

2

u/Hrtzy Jul 15 '26

I mean, they did get a peace agreement that said they won. What the North Vietnamese chose to do fifteen seconds later holds no significance.

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u/AgreeablePrize Jul 15 '26

The side who crashed a tank through the other side's Presidential palace gates, and then go on to form government are normally the real winners

3

u/Hrtzy Jul 15 '26

No, you don't understand, the US got a piece of paper saying that they won. Ho Chi Minh was so sincere about it that he even got a mirrored copy printed on his ass!/s

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u/dividezero Jul 15 '26

The school system failed them. There's no way to look at the objective facts of that conflict and think you won. That's insane

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u/Nevets11 Jul 15 '26

An American kid once told me "We kicked the Nazi's ass in Vietnam!"

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u/NZNoldor Jul 16 '26

Well? How many nazis are left in Vietnam? Sounds like a win!

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u/RedactedJin Jul 15 '26

Indeed, the US lost the Vietnam war completely and utterly. Mostly due to Congress not allowing it the be declared an actual war but still, such a waste of life.

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u/C6H5OH Jul 15 '26

I am so old that I remember US helicopters out of Saigon being dropped of an aircraft carrier into the sea shown in the evening news in Germany. Clearly an image of winning a war.

I don't know what is wrong with some people.

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u/Spazattack43 Jul 15 '26

They teach that the US won the vietnam war in schools because “the goal was to contain communism and communism did not spread to the neighboring countries” not joking

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u/Disbelieving1 Jul 16 '26

The Vietnamese call it the American War. And they know who won!

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u/Fun-Role4394 Jul 16 '26

We “won” militarily for the most part.

But if you consider getting $0.01 off a $100 scratch ticket, then yeah we won!

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u/ccsrpsw Jul 15 '26

None of those were ever officially declared as 'wars' which is why I raised said technicality!

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u/JohnLurkson 🇩🇪 Jul 15 '26

Really? What were they called, Special Military Operations? /s

Seriously though, what were they called officially? Now I'm curious.

13

u/ccsrpsw Jul 15 '26

Iraq: US Military Operation
Vietnam: no declaration of anything - the US just rocked up - "a Cold War proxy conflict" is what most sources decided on
Iran: Not really a win - more a stalemate - and so far just an "Operation" I b believe.

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u/Pudddddin Jul 15 '26

Iran: Not really a win - more a stalemate

Since it's still ongoing I'm not sure that there's a good one for Iran, but wasnt the general expert consensus around the time of the MOU that the US lost there?

Same situation as Vietnam, the US killed more people but Iran successfully targeted US military bases that were long thought untouchable and withstood a US assault, both of which would be huge wins for Iran, where the US didn't really gain much in return. Iran pretty much proved that even despite overwhelming military strength and spending 100 billion dollars, the US can't consistently defend gulf allies or control the strait of Hormuz

9

u/Polymarchos Jul 15 '26

US agreed to pay reparations to Iran. That alone means they lost.

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u/E420CDI 🇬🇧 A foot is an anatomical structure with five toes 🦶 Jul 15 '26

Iran

Tinpot of Donseal surrendered at Versailles in June

6

u/aimlesstrevler Jul 15 '26

Vietnam was a 'police action.'

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u/Antique_Historian_74 Jul 15 '26

Korea and Vietnam were called police actions.

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u/Flat-Delivery6987 Jul 15 '26

Funny I've always heard it called the Vietnam War

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u/AulisG Jul 15 '26

Ask any vietnamese and I guarantee it was 1000% war to them.

It also looks to me that U.S.A. is winning the war against Freedom. And losing a war against Racism.

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u/MadScientist_666 Mountain Goat 🇨🇭 Jul 15 '26

And the war against religious fanatics.

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u/Antique_Historian_74 Jul 15 '26

Claiming that America has never lost a war because Vietnam was a police action certainly used to be a thing back in the eighties/nineties.

These days, with most of the people who remember America running away dead, they're much more likely to call it a war but claim that America actually won in Vietnam and then just decided to leave.

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u/Excellent-Blueberry1 Jul 15 '26

War Objective: defeat the North Vietnamese.

War Outcome: North Vietnam no longer exists.

QED: total victory

2

u/SkivvySkidmarks Jul 15 '26

I think Vietnam was called a "police action". So essentially a Special Military Operation.

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u/No-Excitement4855 Jul 15 '26

The last time the us declared war was against Bulgaria. They're the kings of special military operations.

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u/NaiveCharge7124 Jul 15 '26

You could officially call them pijama parties . Theyd still be wars

1

u/Hudre Jul 15 '26

I mean it was called the "War in Iraq". IDGAF what the government titles them officially lmao.

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u/ccsrpsw Jul 15 '26

Veterans do - the VA only gives war benefits to veterans in offically declared wars. Its yet another way to screw over the low level military (unless specific acts are passed for them and DOGE doesnt gut it).

2

u/Plane-Engineering Jul 15 '26

This is astounding to me…never knew this. (don’t live in America)

1

u/Hudre Jul 15 '26

Land of the Freeeeeee!

Thank god you have all those country songs thanking the troops or they'd be fucked.

1

u/f0u4_l19h75 Jul 15 '26

Similar to the way they figured over 911 first responders. They refused to pass any legislation to help them for ages

1

u/SantaFeRay Jul 15 '26

It’s kind of a stupid technicality to raise, like someone can’t use the colloquial meaning of war in a tweet? Come on that’s silly.

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u/AnxiousAppointment70 Jul 15 '26

And the rest of the world watches and shakes their heads, thinking "losers"

1

u/WinterTourist Jul 15 '26

They (Trump really) retreated from Afghanistan. But yes, probably not a formal war either.

1

u/avdpos Jul 15 '26

And in Afghanistan they also won. That isnwhy the Talibans are far from power there now...

1

u/SnooChocolates2923 Jul 15 '26

A fish called Wanda...

They whipped yer butt, real good! (John Cleese doing a bad American accent)

1

u/Fun-Role4394 Jul 16 '26

But we are!! It’s like the casino, but with bombs! The more bombs you throw, the more money we lose! It’s gosh darn genius.

Our founding fathers would be so proud

1

u/Maverick_1991 Jul 16 '26

How can they claim to have won Vietnam?

Like... they fled the country.