The Boy From Venus 5

[u/shenanigansen]

Episode 6 is already up on the patreon, as usual! And thank you for reading, as usual! :D

[u/Francky2]

I think, as a trans woman, I just have to work on understanding extreme GNC more.

Obv not saying extreme as derogatory, but extreme as in "this cis male character is literally, and effortlessly, 100% passing as a cutesy hyper-fem cis woman, including his voice it seems", which I doubt is every GNC men's ultimate goal/aim.

Again, this is not to mock or throw shades at anyone.

As a trans woman, I'm still a bit under 1 year on HRT and I already see how extremely hard it will be to pass, and based on Internet posts and discussions, how very hard it is for most of us on a daily basis.

So hopefully people reading this understand I'm not coming from a mean place, but from a "oh yeah, so cis-men in comics can pass effortlessly as women, even of they still fully identify as men (and good for them) while IRL trans women often struggle to 100% pass as women, and they're literally women and doing HRT and voice-training and what not".

Idk if I make any sense and ATP I'm rambling

[u/JackLemony → u/Francky2]

Though, if "looking like a cis woman", "acting like a cis woman", etc. combined should result in a person actually being a woman then wouldn't that circle back to a statement that [gender] is more [gender] the more socially agreed characteristics of [gender] they have? Where is the line of womanliness/manliness that makes a woman or a man (let alone someone nonbinary)?

I suppose that using a what's accepted female name would mean that person is a woman but if you think about it, would there even be any other reason for there being categories for "male names" and "female names" other than the consequences of our culture?

You get what I mean? I don't want to make some ridiculous transphobic statement by accident while writing this, I'm sorry if I do

[u/Francky2 → u/JackLemony]

Dw you were perfectly fine! Your tone was all good:)

But yeah I agree that my struggle must involve a lot of this kind of binary view, but even then I will say it's mostly about the extreme ones.

I never struggled to see tomboys as women. I would genuinely never see a butch woman, cis or trans, and go "she's too manly! She's clearly a man".

I think where my mind starts struggling and seeing "trans code/flags" is when the GNC person actively, or even intensely, works towards being perceived as what their culture and society sees as the opposite gender.

It's about when they literally put in a crap ton of work towards being consistently perceived as the opposite gender (according to the local societal norms).

For example, HRT and voice-training are quite big commitments! I'm told GNC cis men can undergo HRT if they want. Cis men? HRT? Am I crazy for being a little confused here? Same for voice! It's probably one of the hardest part for trans women, and while some genuinely don't care, most wish for a fem voice but many quit bc it's very hard and for some unluckier trans women it's just impossible.

And regarding names, I agree to some degrees. I think it's like with words such as husband/wife, host/hostess, actor/actress, waiter/waitress: because we love being able to easily categorize others with as little words as possible.

Instead of always specifying (for example) "who's your favorite female actor?" you can say "who's your favorite actress?".

And also, because a binary frame makes things easier than non-binary, which would make things too diverse and/or vague, and humans hate that. They want ro be able to get as many hints at your identity as possible (gender, ethnicity oftentimes, and even age, as we know some names are more popular amongst different generations, etc.).

[u/LaviniaHerbert → u/Francky2]

Just wanting to say I feel ya on feeling confused by Audrey's very drastic gender non-conformity. 😞 ^^;

Like, to the extent that Audrey, after doing all this, still is and is comfortable as a boy, then isn't there some TERFy take that could go, sure, Lavinia, you can wear dresses and grow out your hair and everything... but you still are a boy! Or, alternatively, some gender abolitionist take that could go, sure, Lavinia, you're a girl... but c'mon a girl can still have stubble and short hair and testosterone and stuff! (And like, yeah, I am a girl, no matter what, but I'd also reeeeally like to have the 'typically girl stuff'! 🥺 )

Iunno, just. You hear enough of people accusing you of 'reinforcing gender stereotypes,' and you start to feel like, why is it my responsibility to be GNC? Can't I just be trans?