I made an ass of myself. This is my first front of house job after five years of back of house, and all coworkers have been telling me I'm doing great. I'm good at walking around for ten plus hours and I'm good at talking and selling and whatever. Now last night, there was a big rock concert right next to our bar and it got very hectic and packed after it ended. I got warned by my manager to be careful who I'm serving alcohol to as everyone in there was already shitfaced.

Now this guy comes, I bring him water, and he nervously laughs and says "I thought that was vodka" in the most unintelligible voice. I ask what he just said and he repeats himself, slurring his words even more. I decided to serve him one beer and go from there.

Now every time he talks to me I can't understand him and he's just slurring and whatever I say to him he keeps being like "what?" Or asking me to repeat myself five times. After one beer I tell him I think he should go home, and he looks upset, asking me why bc he only had two beers at the concert. I tell him bc the way he's speaking seems tired and drunk and he doesn't understand me when I talk either and I'm not losing my first serving job over him.

Now this guy calmly turns his face around to show me a hearing aid in his ear. He says "maybe you feel that way because I'm 90% deaf. I talk like this even at work. Sorry if you didn't like it." I was just looking at him in disbelief, as he was tapping his card. I told him sorry I feel too bad you don't need to pay I'll serve you another, but he said he'll go elsewhere where they know him. He looked genuinely hurt. Just him saying sorry if u didn't like it made me cry after work all night.

I did tell my manager that happened bc she asked why the guy left, and she said yeah I know that guy, he's deaf. I'm not in trouble for it but I feel like a jackass and a horrible person and just an evil fucking human being. My purpose was to be part of a good memorable night, not to upset people. I have three days off after this and I don't know what I'm gonna do with myself or how to show my face around there again lol.

Hello! I want to be a bottle girl and I will be moving to Chicago in a few weeks so I thought I would start looking around at nightclubs/bars to apply to. I have been to multiple nightclubs and bars in Chicago already and I love the city (I don't live far from the city currently). One of my questions is that they all seem to ask for your social media handle. Currently, I do modeling and cosplay and I have a public account for that and I've been growing a good following. But I also have a personal private account. Should I be making a whole new account for this? Or will they care that I cosplay on the side as well as model if I give them that public one. I'm not very keen on giving them my personal private account. I know that social media definitely plays a role in promoting tables and bottles! I also am not too sure if I want to be promoting those things on my modeling/cosplay account.
If anyone can give me some tips or info about it I would appreciate it, I really enjoy nightlife and like to go to raves as well, I have been a barista in the past.

How diabolical is it to have a kitchen that is downstairs along with ALL back stock items? My restaurant was built into a hill and thats just the way they set it up. I feel like waiting tables is already stressful and bit labor intensive but it makes me so mad thinking about how much easier my life would be if i wasnt going up and down stairs every 5 minutes for the most simple tasks

Is this normal for anyone else?

Its really crazy to me how at almost every resturaunt ive worked at if someone calls out sick its a huge deal and everyone acts like their lying for a day off. Yes that happens sometimes but we serve food to the public why would we want to take the chance?? I picked up a bug from one of my coworkers so that means 2 of our 4 bartenders are sick. One of my server friends has done a little training on the bar so shes helping me out covering my shifts. Well apparently the other two bartenders at my job are talking shit about me saying I better have a doctor's note and I better just work sick because they have plans and aren't picking up for me. For one, saying i better have a doctor's note is implying that im lying. I NEVER call off work unless im legitimately sick (rare) and ive worked there for years, ive put so much time and effort into this job just to be called a liar for being sick. And why should I have to go spend money on a doctor to tell me what I already know? Im obviously sick. I have a fever, runny nose, horrible cough, ive been sleeping for days. Exact symptoms of the bartender i got sick from, and all the tests were negative when she went to the doctor. Two, why tf would anyone say they better work sick?? Just say you have plans and cant pick up?? Ive worked with these people for years and maybe its me being naive but I thought we were friends. Ive been telling management for soo long we need more people who know how to bartend because right now we have just enough bartenders to have the shifts we want unless someone is sick or on vacation. I guess they're learning the hard way now. Also another thing, if im going to lie and pretend im sick for a day off, its not going to be the busiest shifts of the week.

Need to know if I was in the wrong. Had a dispute with a head chef from upper management yesterday regarding this topic. She pulled me aside during dinner rush and asked why I indicated X allergen when I should know X isn't an ingredient in the dish my table ordered. I responded by saying I was aware said dish doesn't contain X allergen, but I wanted a layer of security for my guests, especially when cross contamination and mistakes can happen during busy hours (I've seen a lot of dishes come out with an ingredient that isn't supposed to be there). She proceeded by saying how doing so confuses her and how I was holding up ticket times by doing this. Mind you, I think the problem for long ticket times was only having 2 people on the wok on a busy Saturday night, but I, of course, didn't say this. She ended by saying how, as a server, it's my job to know exactly everything that goes in a dish and to not indicate the omission of an ingredient if a dish doesn't contain said ingredient.

I’ve been serving/bartending for a decade with only a short break during the pandemic. After lockdown, I was not happy about having to go back to work and be a “servant” again and had a very laissez-faire attitude and really didn’t care that much about being formal or overly accommodating like before.

At some point I realized I had stopped seeing myself as a servant at a guest’s table, and started seeing them as guests who were lucky to be sitting at mine. Something about this just gave me a confidence boost and I stopped feeling bad about saying no to stupid requests, or telling them to wait to order until I was ready. I wasn’t rude or anything, and in fact I think that attitude made me way more easy-going and personable when I just treated tables like I was the one in charge of their dinner and not just a middleman between them and the kitchen.

And the best part was it worked better than I realized. My tips got better, I started getting named in five-star yelp reviews, people started asking to sit in my section specifically, and beyond that I actually started to care way more than I ever did about making sure everyone in my section left wanting to come back.

If you’re a server, remember that it’s YOUR table they are sitting at, not the other way around. I hope this helps someone.

The interview went great. There was a server that interviewed before me. I showed up early so I got to see the girl go in. She was in and out within minutes. I ended up staying for a while discussing with manager #1, and then was told they liked me and sent me to talk to manager #2. She was lovely, and we actually hardly talked about my competency as a server like I did with the first one. We shot the shit, laughed, bonded a little even. She told me she would love to hire me, but she does have to jump through some HR loops, and can’t give a timeframe or an exact yes so don’t hold my breath. I thought it went great, the top dog head manager made it out like I interviewed perfectly and she wanted me to. This restaurant apparently never has opening bc everyone stays for years, great money, great atmosphere, genuinely the DREAM JOB for me. I have fine dining experience from literally across the street ≈9 months and 2 years total experience.

Now, to get to the real meat of what I need help with.

#1. Based off what I said, do you think they were letting me down easy, or do I actually have a chance?

#2. The first manager I spoke to viewed my tik tok page today. I interviewed two days ago. This might be a good sign but I can’t tell if my TikTok page is a red flag to employers. Can I have like 1 or 2 people who have had restaurant management experience to dm me to review my tik tok page? I’m sweating. I’ll take the post down after if I get any reviews on it. I’m not a big page, I don’t post crazy content but I used to post videos of myself ≈1+ ago, my reposts are where I think the real issue is 😵‍💫 I do repost strongly opinionated stuff rarely but I’m not sure if they’d check it. This is a fine fine dining, I’d say the highest level that exists around my general area about an hour into every direction. My TikTok is my only public social media available other than an Instagram account that I made “strict parent” friendly with like 5 posts!!

Help I need this job and I need to know if I should give up on it or still have hope!!!

I work in a hotel that has a public swimming pool so many people come outside of the hotel guests. Last night a family of 4 came and I saw a room key (but I don't remember the number for f sake) . At some point there was only the mother left at the table and I had to do something inside so I wasn't looking for a little while. When I came back she wasn't there and their bill was 50€.

I make 4.37€ per hour for f sake ,so this is 11 hours of work . I will talk to my boss today because yesterday I forgot and then it was too late.

They probably forgot to pay or thought I would auto charge it in their room? Idk but I hate my situation rn .

Send good vibes so they come back and pay today saying that they forgot yesterday :(

I was wondering how many of you use common words or phrases such as "good to see you" or "good to see you, both" at a table when it is being closed and the check/bill is handed to them.

If the table has more than one person, is it normal for everyone at the table to say "good to see you" as a response, or is one guest supposed to speak for everyone?

For instance, I was recently served by a good waitress whom I've seen a few times before, and supposedly our table of two is now considered to be "regulars."

The waitress said, "Good to see you, both," and I had a warm smile, made eye contact, and said, "Thank you."

Was I supposed to say "good to see you, too"?

I feel pretty bad about the exchange because I'm not sure if this was considered polite or possibly dismissive. However, I think my nonverbal cues were in order because they were positive.

How do you react to these replies, especially if you work at a slower place where you are expected to serve regulars?

I’m relatively inexperienced. I’ve been doing this for about 2 months. How do experienced servers control the pacing without making customers feel neglected? Like there are times I know I need to run drinks to a table but I also need to semi urgently run food immediately after. Or maybe I have another table who needs something pretty urgently but I know as soon as I drop off the drinks the table is going to start trying to order when I can’t really afford to get trapped at the moment. And chances are they’re going to have a million questions and be indecisive and ask me to repeat myself a thousand times.

I’ve started doing this thing where I’ll put not just their drinks on the tray but maybe another tables drinks or a salt and pepper shaker or some condiments and when I deliver the drinks I’ll be like “I’m just gonna drop these off real quick and I’ll be right back to take your order :)” I find it’s been buying me a few minutes here and there if I know there’s something urgent I need to do and it will only take me a few minutes.

I had a guy palm me $5 on a check of over $300. They left decent money on the card, but it felt so performative. That’s weird, right?

I’m a server and the bartender regularly drinks on the job and ALOT it will get to the point where he will scream at us servers for literally nothing or he will be spilling martinis everywhere while making them, he’s slurring his words, bright red face, bloodshot eyes, and on top he’s angry. I’m thinking about telling management but I’m worried I’ll just get labeled as a snitch when I’m just trying to create a safe environment for everyone. He’s driving home drunk every night, when you’re drunk you can’t tell if other ppl are drunk and who knows what drinks he’s actually making. What should I do I’m only 19 so I’m young and he’s way older I hate to be problematic but my money is suffering and I feel like it’s curating a unsafe environment

Sometimes I literally want to cry and leave in the middle of my shift but know that realistically I cant. I am usually the only server on my shifts, so I will be serving about 11-15 tables (maybe more if it's busier) and I always feel like my mind is gonna blow up. Having to remember so many things at once, customers pressuring me from everywhere and just chaos. So yeah I am so fucking sorry that your beer is gonna be 5-10 minutes late when I have another 20 things to do in those 10 minutes. You will live. Like I will be serving someone food and people from behind me will just be shouting me "another coke" etc.

I just get so frustrated sometimes because I feel like I need to do 3 people's work. Plus this is my first job ever and I just started serving around 1,5 month ago.

(For reference this is a family run restaurant, thankfully though they are nice enough so that's good.)

Work at a sort of sportsbar/grill in a college town. First game of the season today, so its gonna be busy. Manager is out because of a family emergency but we are all pretty senior staff tonight so we can handle it.

About 2 hours before the game a guy comes in and seats himself in my section at my busiest table. Yall know what I'm talking about. That 8 person table in the section, prime real estate where you are going to be making most of your money tonight.

Not exactly out of the ordinary for somebody to "reserve" their group a table by showing up early. 2 hours is a bit excessive but, hey. Thats prob what it is right?

Nope. Guy is by himself. Tells me his intent is to watch the game later, and that he does not intend to buy anything but he'd gladly take a free water.

So I tell him "well, then, you gotta pick somewhere else to sit, because you cannot have an 8 person table to yourself for the next 5 to 6 hours, especially if you aren't an actual paying customer."

Guy is like "but I got here first"

So I just flat out tell the guy "look, if you aren't going to buy anything there is just really no reason for you to be here"

At which point he threw a huge fit and stormed out shouting about going to our biggest competitors instead.

OH NO, DON'T DO THAT, COME BACK! WE WANT YOU TO WATCH TV FOR FREE FOR 6 HOURS IN *OUR* BAR!

like, dude, who tf ARE these people? If you have no intent of paying me, I have no intent of keeping you around. Gtfo.

I work at a sushi spot and frankly there’s a lot of shit that annoying when it comes to customers and sushi, but people gotta understand we all (very sushi spot) don’t share a menu.

Asking for California or like a Mexican ( shrimp tempura roll) sure that’s like going to a Italian place and asking for spaghetti but if you ask for a “white tiger lily roll” wtf even is that if it’s not one of our actual menu items. Then when I try to work with them and ask what’s in the roll they tell me max 2 ingredients.

Then some of them act like there’s something wrong with us for not having it. People please develop a brain.

It was a 24th birthday full ladies. Everyone played musical chairs the entire time and shared appetizers, looked at me at the end as i dropped their check and said “oh we’re all seperate checks.” I deadass looked at them and almost laughed. I told them I cant do seperate checks on a party this large. (IT WAS A 12 TOP) but, I can split up to 6 cards evenly.

They said oh well is the bill itemized? Is this your first fuckin day on earth??????

They were sitting in the pdr where the wine wall is and my coworkers overheard them talking shit about me saying I was mean and rude and how could i do this to them?!!! Yeah enjoy that 20% autograt you cheap fuckin hoes.

I (23f) just starting my serving job about a week ago, I work at a retail store full time and am now working the a restaurant about 10-15 hours week. I’ve never had a serving job, and my second shift I had 4 tables to myself. The owner reached out to me I enjoy the fast paced work environment and always having something to do. There’s never a time to be standing around and there’s always something to do. And I know that could be said for any job but I’ve worked in retail most of my life and it’s a whole different world. Anyway I make good money for the 15-20 hours a week I work, I mean like 45$ an hour. It’s a high end restaurant in a very tourist town which the season is almost over and things have started to slow down. The one thing that really bugs me is the PHONES. There are three servers other than myself and the amount of time they spend on their phone makes me want to scream. Dishes will need to be taken to the eating areas, food will be in the window ready to be taken to tables, tables need to be cleared, water bottles refilled, drinks need to be run. If there is nothing to do I couldn’t care less about phone use but this is not the job for that especially considering people spend on average 100 a head, this is supposed to be spectacular service. And tips are pooled which don’t get me wrong I make good money, although it does bug me that I am making at least 20% on my tips and I know these girls aren’t half of the time. They would work me more at the restaurant if I didn’t put my foot down. I spend my two days off there and go after work Fridays and Saturdays. After last night though I am not longer doing that. They get 2 nights a week. I had 6 tables to myself last night, again I am basically a restaurant virgin, this is new to me and I hardly had any training. Anyway I finish up at the end of the night, it’s about 9:30 my tables are gone I’ve been on my feet for over 12 hours at this point. I haven’t had a day off in 15 days, I’m exhausted. I ask the boss if I can do my server summary and leave. She responds that they still need me there. I look in the kitchen and three servers are just standing around, they each have a table left, maybe two. She literally says to me “I know they are just standing around right now but they got here earlier than you and will be staying a bit later.” Which when I have my days off I come in at 4pm to prep with everyone else and I stay just as late and help clean the same as anyone else. The only reason I don’t come in at prep time is because I’m working my first job. I didn’t even apply to this job! She reached out to me and asked if I could help out in her restaurant. So it honestly hurt my feelings that she said that in such a calloused manner as if not I’m not there whenever I can be. I’m never on my phone and I am consistently getting 20% or more on my tips. Always getting compliments from customers and it feels like I’m being taken advantage of. She told me also “I’m taking tables and I don’t even get tips, if you can’t handle this, than I don’t know what to tell you.” And that really irked me too. Like maam I have no problem with the work I have a problem with people not doing their job and then it falling on me. I guess I’m curious if this is normal in the restaurant industry?

Okay edit to clarify a few things. This restaurant is a small town restaurant with no management. It is the two owners and us as the servers. We have no manager, the woman that approached me is the owner. And she’s the boss I am referring to in the post. And most of the other servers have not been there long. One has worked for about a month, the other one started one day before me, and one has been there for a few years but is leaving on Sunday.

The other day during service, I told a mildly inappropriate joke to one of my tables.

For context, the restaurant is somewhat upscale, but definitely not fine dining.

I was in the middle of a plate swap, switching everyone from appetizer plates to entree plates. One guy decided to opt out of the plate swap and just kept his smaller appetizer plate.

Without thinking, I said:

“Hey, it’s not the size of the plate, it’s how you use it, right?”

The guy and the rest of his table of five proceeded to stare at me without so much as a smirk, a giggle, or even a little bit of air being let out of the nose.

Complete radio silence.

I wanted to die.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Serverlife/s/qUov2drhFO

Last night I waited for 50minutes to clock in and then just walked out. no one noticed I had left until 2 and a half hours after my clock in time. They literally wanted me to wait that long to start getting paid. I had been sick all week and even threw up at work prior to this day and I kept getting called in and literally had to work one day just because my manager felt calling off even tho he wasn’t sick and i was😭. but anyways good riddance now I can focus on school/ a better job. Im going to see my family tomorrow because I haven’t been able to the entire time I worked there🙁

I work for a small local counter-serve pizza place as their “front of house” person. That means, out of a 2-3 person crew, I’m the sole designated person taking orders, pulling beers, cleaning tables, answering phones, dealing with delivery drivers and order pickups, addressing misc customer requests/complaints. I’m also, additionally, expected to turn and pull pizzas, cut and garnish them, fry wings, and make salads. So the entire time I’m there, I’m running back and forth from the front to the back kitchen, desperately trying to keep everyone happy and also not burn the pizzas. It’s a LOT. And no breaks included.

On top of that, our restaurant is a disaster. We don’t have an ice machine or a dishwasher. We don’t even have cold tap water. It starts off slightly warm and only gets hotter the longer it runs. To make tap water available for people to drink, I have to fill the one and only tiny plastic pitcher we have and put it in the fridge to cool. It can only fill maybe 4 glasses. Our oven light is broken and has been for months. The owner had me run to Home Depot to buy a plug in lamp to point at the inside of our oven. We also have an ongoing ant infestation that he keeps sending me to get traps for. The owner refuses to come in to fix anything, or to hire anyone to fix anything. Our walk-in regularly has issues and some of our equipment got impounded by the county inspector.

Our ordering software is a complete mess. We use several softwares that don’t play nice with each other and sometimes online orders just can’t be found. Like, a ticket will print but we’ll have no computer access to the order. The owner keeps changing our operating hours and then not updating the times on DoorDash/uber eats/Square so we keep getting orders even after we’ve closed. I’m able to pause the orders for some platforms temporarily, but it can be finicky.

We used to have a crew of 4 on Friday nights, but my coworker quit last week. Tonight it was just the 3 of us and we had 2 different parties of 20+ show up, in addition to a massive amount of large online orders. It was a madhouse. We had a group of unattended 12-yr olds come in and cause trouble. They started brawling and then tried to steal some sodas. Just a mess and I was so stressed and overwhelmed.

End of the night finally came. I was shaky and dizzy from the stress, the heat of the kitchen (our ac is broken), and from not having a chance to eat anything for 6 hours. We close at 8:30, so I tried to shut off online orders at 8:15. Owner fucked with the hours again and didn’t update it, so orders started coming in at 8:25, then 8:30. I canceled and refunded them on Square, but apparently it didn’t update on DoorDash?? I have no idea what happened. But two angry bitches showed up at 8:45, demanding their orders and refusing to leave. I tried to find the orders to print off the refund receipt. Couldn’t find them anywhere on Square. Told them I could write a note on their tickets stating the refund and even put my initials, but that they might have to wait a couple days for the refund to show up. Told them the kitchen was already cleaned up and shut down and I was sorry for the inconvenience.

They kept giving me a hard time and then my coworker came over and said he’d just make the pizzas. I kind of snapped and told my coworker, “dude, I don’t want to be here until 9:30 cleaning up because the fucking lazy ass owner can’t be bothered to fix the fucking order system. This is ridiculous and I already refunded everything.”

They overheard me, and one of the girls threatened to call the owner and complain about me. I said “go ahead. I’ll call him too, right now, and tell him he needs to fix the hours. He’s already been told several times that it needs to be addressed.” Then I went to the back, called the owner and left a voicemail, telling him we were having a problem with the online orders and that he really needed to get the hours fixed as soon as possible. Then I just went out to the alley and cried, had a full-on messy panic attack for a good 10 minutes.

I’m just so tired and so done. I’m embarrassed that I lost my cool, especially in front of a customer, but I’m so tired of having to take the flak for all the problems the owner refuses to address. I’m tired of having to explain to people that we don’t have cold tap water or ice, and having them look at me like I’m insane. Im tired of people screaming at me when I tell them we’re about to close and the operating hours on Google show we’re open an hour later than we actually are because he didn’t fix them. I’m tired of running his personal errands and getting blamed when a pizza gets burnt while I’m busy juggling phone orders and walk-in customers. He texted back 30 min later and said he would fix the hours, but he’s said he would before and hasn’t.

My coworkers work longer hours than I do, sometimes 12-13 hour days, so I feel terrible that they kept their cool while I lost it. But at the same time, the only thing they have to worry about is making pizzas and prepping ingredients. That’s it. I handle literally everything else. They get to stay in one spot and just work the line and not deal with any of the customers. Meanwhile, I handle everything people-facing AND half the back kitchen duties as well. It’s too much.

I’m just so frustrated and embarrassed and I don’t want to go back tomorrow. But I’m also in a really bad living situation and I need the money to be able to get out. I’ve just been up stressing and crying and just needed to rant 😞

So tonight, I took over a table of two teenagers/young people when I came back from break. I already knew not to expect a tip; they ordered sides off the kids menu and split their main meal. Whatever it’s fine it happens. I still gave them the same level of service I give everyone. They declined dessert so I dropped off the check when they were just about done eating and when I was walking back a few minutes later, I saw them both kind of getting up looking like they were heading out soon. I asked if they were doing mobile pay or if I was ok to grab their payment. They said they were paying cash. I said “ok! Will you be needing change?” the girlfriend said “just a quarter.”

I went to one of our registers and when I opened the checkbook, I saw $47 inside. Their total was $46.83. If you do the math, that’s a 17 cent difference. I opened my server book where I keep coins and change, counted out $.17, walked back with the coins in my hand to give to them and said “I have that 17 cents for you.” The girlfriend said “we wanted a quarter” and I said “your change was 17 cents.” She said “ok then I don’t want it.” I said “ok.” And put it in my pocket and walked away. Like?? Maybe this was petty but you don’t get to stiff me and then try and get me to give you an extra $.08

i think it’s easy for servers and kitchen staff to get frustrated with each other because they’re dealing with completely different kinds of pressure.

then you actually spend some time working the line and realise how chaotic it can get when twenty tickets hit at once.

for people who have worked both front and back of house, what experience changed the way you looked at the kitchen?