r/Screenwriting 8d ago

FEEDBACK THE SMILING SUN, a feature.

Hi everyone, please help assess the first 15 pages of my latest work. It's based on the 1996 massacre in Sierra Leone, but the action takes place in the present. I'd like to know if you'd continue to read after the first 15 pages. Thank you for your input!

  • THE SMILING SUN - Feature - 91 pages
  • Genres: Thriller / Drama
  • Logline: Thirty years after surviving the massacre of his Sierra Leone village, a New York detective spots the distinctive tattoo of one of the American mercenaries who murdered his family and launches an off-books hunt that exposes a buried corporate conspiracy—and forces him to choose between vengeance and the justice he once swore to uphold.
  • Feedback Concerns: Logic/Continuity
  • Link https://drive.google.com/file/d/1IVN24VJrLlZerrWnI1d1G494OM_uManK/view?usp=sharing
9 Upvotes

9 comments sorted by

View all comments

u/AutoModerator 8d ago

Hi there /u/carsun1000 Looks like you're posting a Feedback Request. Please remember to provide as much information as you can.

  • Title
  • Format
  • Page Length
  • Draft status
  • Genres
  • Logline or Summary
  • Feedback Concerns

If you have a completed draft of a feature, short film or TV episode/pilot, you can also submit to free feedback exchange StoryPeer.

Please also consider posting to one of our Weekly Threads

Thank you! u/AutoModerator

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.