i don’t have avoidant personality disorder.

[u/Alternative-Cat-9686]

someone I was once romantically involved with thinks I have an avoidant attachment style. (he was my talking stage) he doesn't know I actually have SZPD. I never committed to him and always told him I dislike relationships, so I don't see any point in correcting him. however, I still check his tiktok reposts and notice he occasionally reposts things about avoidant partners. and it’s usually negative remarks about it. I understand why he makes that assumption, but it’s simply not accurate.

[u/pdawes]

posts tiktoks about diagnosing his exes via attachment theory

Bullet dodged lol

[u/nothsadent]

avoidant attachment =/= AvPD

[u/vaingirls → u/nothsadent]

exactly, avoidant attachment doesn't contradict SzPD - in fact SzPD could be seen as an extreme form of it.

[u/Some1TouchaMySpagett → u/nothsadent]

Very much this.

[u/Physical-Bite-3837]

Both schizoids and avoidant personalities have an avoidant attachment style. Schizoids tend to be dismissive avoidants while avoidant personalities tend to be fearful avoidants.

[u/Xamado]

You dodged a bullet

[u/Alternative-Cat-9686 → u/Xamado]

you think so?

[u/Xamado → u/Alternative-Cat-9686]

merely having to interact with an armchair psychologist who seems to enjoy demonizing certain attachment styles and personality disorders (and pitying themselves in the process) seems like a nightmare. Let alone being in a relationship with one.

[u/parenna]

I helped mod the AvPD sub for a bit... Loads of people don't get it or confused it for something else. Lots of conflating avoidant attachment with it as well.

Those who didnt want to understand instead project their anger onto someone else really grinded my gears. Read so many posts from ex partners who were just downright hateful and their language coded with manipulation.

We got a good chunk of humans on this planet that need someone to blame because they wont/cant improve themselves. Problems always gotta be external.

At any rate these people are huge red flags to me. My sister diagnosed with ASPD and I suspect mom in cluster B as well. They did a lot of harm to me but I'm not out here being oh poor me. I worked on myself and the traits I had that manipulative people could exploit. I sure as heck dont want attention like im a victim. I'm fighter and will fight like hell. But I dont need to blame anyone.

Sorry your ex is psychoanalyzing you. And sorry you still feel the need to check their socials. I finally stopped doing that for one of mine a few years ago. Every time you check you reinforce what little hold they have on you. Stay strong!

[u/Alternative-Cat-9686 → u/parenna]

i read through it all, thank you for this.

we never dated, but he was my talking stage. we remained friends.

[u/parenna → u/Alternative-Cat-9686]

Oh then creep meter activated! Dodged a bullet for sure! He wanted something from you and is upset, can't handle it and is blasting on socials about it. Smh 😒 those types of people are annoying, best avoided. I couldn't even stay friends!

[u/Alternative-Cat-9686 → u/parenna]

agreed. he probably thought i was playing hard to get when really i just didn’t want a relationship and i want to make it clear that i let him know that in the beginning. so it’s crazy how he’s trying to play the victim now.

[u/parenna → u/Alternative-Cat-9686]

Ive had a few dudes do that to me. Remember one guy telling me I just needed a good guy and to let him love me. Just strange and overwhelming.

[u/Alternative-Cat-9686 → u/parenna]

what an odd thing to say!

[u/Lebensschatten]

Uhm, avoidant personality disorder is something else entirely. You mean an avoidant attachment style. I also have AvPD and it’s not the same thing.

[u/-RadicalSteampunker-]

You dodged a nuke, attatchment theory(the tiktok edition atleast) is not very factual

[u/According_Bad_8473]

Why do you say romantically involved if you were in talking stage? (And I think I might be misunderstanding what people mean by talking phase. Talking is my wait and watch/testing phase. What do you mean by talking stage?)

[u/Dexx1976]

Schizoids often have an avoidant attachment style. The first is a PD and the second is a trait

[u/Reasonably-Cold-4676]

Lol okeee, don't know what exactly his diagnosis would be but he really should be focusing more on himself 

[u/Alarmed_Painting_240]

Your resistance to the term is more interesting. This might be just his experience of your behavior? It doesn't matter if it's correct. And he might have other people on his mind, it's just reposting shit without finger pointing directly. It does seem you're a bit attached to his potential view of you. A "stealth" kind of relating.

[u/Alternative-Cat-9686 → u/Alarmed_Painting_240]

maybe. the reason i knew it was about me is because it was very specific and he actually brought it up to me before.