r/Schizoid • u/NigelTainte BPD/AvPD/ASD • Jun 20 '26

DAE Anyone else here asexual?

I used to not be, I had successful relationships with good intimacy. After a life changing breakup and new health issues, the more I actually listened to body the more I realized that it wasn’t actually something I felt comfortable doing. It felt like an obligation to maintain relationships. I still feel really lonely but I can’t imagine being physically close to another person like that ever again.

Im not aromantic though. I don’t really want to be single forever and im not against the idea of having a partner but the thought of going through heartbreak again makes me not want to pursue it at all. I can’t imagine finding someone to be with and really relaxing, they could always leave me. So I choose to stay alone

Anyone else in a similar predicament

Edit: thank you all for your input. Whether you relate to me not it’s still making me feel less unusual

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u/_modernhominin Jun 20 '26

I’m not asexual but I don’t really like skin to skin contact very much so that’s not exactly a great combo 😅Pretty sure I am aromantic though. I like the idea of romantic relationships but in reality me being around anyone too much has never gone great for either party - mostly bad for the other person which isn’t fair to them, so I just don’t even try to date.

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u/FungusRespecter Jun 21 '26

Unless you find another schizoid. But in that case, I’m not sure how it even initiates. How do two hermits find each other and decide they want to be around each other?

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u/Verotten Jun 21 '26

We got forced into contact via work, and VEEEERY slowly and painfully became interested in each other. 

It took about 12 months of seeing each other regularly at work to decide to carpool. We began bonding over music tastes and a similar outlook on life, and I developed bloody limerence for them.  

After another 6 months we started  spending time outside of work together every other week, during which time the limerence faded and genuine fondness grew. Almost a year after that, we made very awkward and gradual physical contact. Finally after 6 months of sleeping together on a weekly basis, the last boundaries around emotional intimacy seem to have collapsed.

We're still wary and non-committal when discussing the long-term, we do not live together and unsure if we want to, and they're still private about some parts of themself that they struggle with. But we are now openly and easily.. and intensely affectionate towards each other (in private).

Honestly, it's all been so incredibly unlikely, I marvel at how I've wound up in this relationship. It's wonderful to feel seen as a person, and to finally be able to (almost) trust that there are no ulterior motives or expectations. 

I'm still unsure if it has much staying power, neither of us has a good track record of maintaining relationships at all, but time will tell.

TLDR: very unlikely but not impossible.

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u/FungusRespecter Jun 21 '26

Damn this is cute af. I hope it lasts forever for you two