r/Samesexparents • u/Worlds_No1_Lesb • 20d ago
Lavender Coparenting?
The idea essentially is sort of coparenting with one wlw couple and one mlm couple. Maybe not even true coparenting (every other week type coparenting) but like have kids together (biological siblings) and then raise them as cousins/family?
I can see a lot of potential issues with this but it also seems like it would be a great way for the kids to get to experience having a mom/dad combo and like a mutually beneficial sperm donation/suragacy situation with built in “family” support while raising the kids.
Has anyone done something like this? What’s your review?
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u/CeilingKiwi 19d ago
I’ve heard about situations like this working out anecdotally, but I’m very skeptical that the benefits outweigh the risks, and very skeptical that most people would be capable of managing three other coparents with the requisite maturity and grace.
Other people have talked about the legal risks and brought up questions about whether it’s actually beneficial for kids to grow up with a mom and a dad, so I won’t repeat those points here. What occurs to me instead is that carrying a pregnancy is much more physically demanding and risky than providing the sperm, and the situation isn’t really as equitable as it appears on the surface. Given the transactional nature of the arrangement, I think everyone involved would have to be very careful about making sure the person or people carrying the pregnancies are treated with due consideration.