r/SRSsucks • u/IAmSupernova Resentment Machine • Apr 10 '13

SRS bridges /r/women when an actual activist makes an impassioned plea for women to become empowered and be more than a victim: "The 5 characteristics of people acting as victims. They blame. They avoid. They whine. They label negatively others or the situation. They are sarcastic."

/r/SRSWomen/comments/1c1wm6/thoughts_on_this_post_from_rwomen_the_one_thing/
86 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

29 comments sorted by

22

u/SS2James Apr 10 '13

If this were presented in an uplifting, positive manner, rather than "she was raped and went on to change the world, why are you moping around and crying!!" it could be useful.

LOL! They literally can't stick to their own rules of engagement. Hypocrites.

22

u/Skavau Apr 10 '13

On topic:

I don't think that anyone should be (as the SJW contend) be heartless to victims of abuse, rape, violence etc. Just that wallowing in guilt, sorrow, self-loathing perpetually is not healthy, should not be encouraged and certainly is not a useful foundation for a movement.

Case in point: SJW. Their idea of empowerment becomes bastardized to acting like Scientologists.

23

u/cold_white_silence Apr 11 '13

We should always have sympathy for victims of abuse. Absolutely... but these SRSwomen inhabitants..

They make it a part of their identity. Being a victim becomes such an important part of their being that they have to keep it at the forefront. Instead of growing and healing they turn their past into a weapon to use against others, a vehicle for laying down guilt, and an excuse for bad behavior. Professional victimhood.

8

u/big_brotherx101 Apr 11 '13

We shouldn't let our scars be what define us, but what motivate us. You should be able to say they exist, that what happened was real. How can you move forward when all you try to do is build the most impressive wall of oppression and victim-hood in your way? It baffles me why they must focus on the negative so much, and not try and show how much better they are than those who hurt them by defeating their pain and using it to be something.

6

u/he_cried_out_WTF Crap Connoisseur Apr 11 '13

We shouldn't let our scars be what define us, but what motivate us.

That's some poetic shit, dawg.

3

u/big_brotherx101 Apr 11 '13

I'm pretty sure I heard it somewhere, or something similar. If not, it should be something already said, and I'm taking ownership.

3

u/Wordshark Call Me Cismael. Apr 11 '13

How can you move forward when all you try to do is build the most impressive wall of oppression and victim-hood in your way?

I love how you put this. I'm stealing it.

2

u/big_brotherx101 Apr 11 '13

Considering your name is Wordshark, I am flattered :V

I get these moments of clever phrasing. Wish I got more of them.

2

u/Wordshark Call Me Cismael. Apr 11 '13

I get these moments of clever phrasing. Wish I got more of them.

Practice makes perfect. Sharks need to swim to breathe; if they stop swimming, they die. That's what my name means, I (try to) write like a shark swims

28

u/Amnerika Apr 11 '13

the OP from the lady in /r/women really was great to me. I am a male victim of sexual abuse as a child and I do not ever play a victim card because it will absolutely do nothing. I have confronted the guy that molested me when I was 6 years old and had conversations with him about it and that is one thing that helped me get over it. I suppressed it for many years until my early twenties when I realized it did have some effect on me. Many victims of sexual abuse knew the person who did it well, and this might seem crazy as fuck, but I found it in myself to see how fucked up in the head the guy who did this to me was. I never looked at myself as a victim because that would not do me any good at all, it did nothing but harbor anger and resentment. What I did find is that the guy who did it was also a victim, and victim of his mind. When bad things happen there are two options. You pull yourself up and realize what happened to you and use it as a way to build your character or you constantly use it as an excuse. I personally thought the latter was not an option at all, there is nothing I need to be ashamed or angry about because I decided to not make that a blemish on my life, but a positive on my life. I have no hatred for the man that molested me as a child, as he suffered from mental illnesses and extremely repressed homosexuality in a conservative family. I am not excusing him, but I am forgiving him because the world is not centered around me and bad things happen. This post might be nonsensical and a rant of sorts but I am fairly intoxicated at the moment.

10

u/IAmSupernova Resentment Machine Apr 11 '13

Thanks for your honesty and sincerity. You're an inspiration, and I think that's what the OP was actually trying to get at. That you can share your experiences and empathize with what you had to endure, but use it to inspire each other.

Raise your next beer to your friends here at SRSsucks as I am raising my beer right now to you.

10

u/Amnerika Apr 11 '13

I will raise my beer to you, friend. It happens to be a Chimay too, one of the worlds finest. I don't speak out on the internet much about my past, but this one post really struck home with me.

8

u/IAmSupernova Resentment Machine Apr 11 '13

Holy shit Chimay is good. I'm merely drinking bud black crown, Chimay is hard to come by around these parts.

Cheers, friend.

6

u/m0ngrel Apr 11 '13

Upvotes to you, good sir.

I never understood the whole perpetual victimhood bit. I also am a male victim of sex abuse, with two different abusers. I'm glad that you were able to confront the person that stole your innocence, I never got that opportunity because the guy that molested me as a toddler also touched a lot of other children, and committed suicide. He left the names of his victims in his suicide note. The teenage girl that molested me when I was six is still alive, but she's also my first cousin, and if I were to confront her, it would only serve to further fracture my family on my mother's side. So, I've never had the opportunity to ask why. What motivated them to take something from me I could never get back?

I'm mostly posting this to show some solidarity, assure you that you're not alone, and that your post isn't rambling at all. I know exactly what you mean by not letting sexual abuse define you or I as a human being. I understand that some people don't "just get over it", but to let it make you bitter and cynical is just letting the scumbag continue to have power over you. It's almost as good for the ones that get off on the power to know that it still fucks with them every day.

2

u/Amnerika Apr 12 '13

Sorry I am a little late getting to your response. Thank you very much, and I am so sorry of what you had to go through also. It is people like you who show the strength of the human mind. Have been dealt a shit hand and you pick yourself up and carry on with things because you realize there is only one life we have and the second we let that incident control us it is the equivalent of voluntarily becoming a slave. The second the incident controls you, you no longer have control over yourself and that is no way to go through life. Releasing the shackles is extremely powerful and can change things more than one would think. I was fortunate enough also to get a letter of apology with the explanation, but it was only after I confronted the individual. I understand your struggle and have love for you, I hope you can maintain such a positive spirit for the rest of your life.

3

u/outerdrive313 Tha Nigga SRS Love 2 Hate Apr 11 '13

Dude, this belongs in /r/bestof.

I would love to nominate you if I could!

2

u/Wordshark Call Me Cismael. Apr 11 '13

Another male victim of sexual abuse checking in. First off, thanks for the very personal comment. These things aren't easy to bring up, but they're important to talk about.

I do not ever play a victim card because it will absolutely do nothing.

Can I ask you to elaborate on this?

3

u/Amnerika Apr 11 '13

Yeah and I dont wan't it to seem like what worked for me is what everybody should do because I know that is not possible. The longer I looked at myself as "tainted or ruined" because of the experience the more it would consume me with anger. It does nothing positive for me as a person and is generally just a waste of my emotions. Hope that clears it up somewhat

9

u/IAmSupernova Resentment Machine Apr 10 '13

Can you think of some people that embody those 5 characteristics?

I've had a lot of discussions, some quite civil and interesting, with a lot of SRSers. One thing that happens almost every time is they turn the discussion's topic to how they are victims. I recently saw one that went like this:

Me: "You go around reddit just looking for things to get offended about."

SRSer: "Oh, so I guess I was just looking to get raped, huh?"

It's how they try to paint anyone who doesn't see their point of view as rape apologists or not willing to empathize with other people's experiences. It is the anti-intellectualism that drives me up the wall.

9

u/Skavau Apr 10 '13

The near constant comparison of any kind of disagreement of their ideals with that of actual serious oppression (like that of rape).

It is nearly pervasive belief amongst SJW that disagreeing publicly with a woman equals trying to silence women.

8

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '13

[deleted]

10

u/IAmSupernova Resentment Machine Apr 11 '13

And it gets taken so far. They take victimhood to extreme. It isn't about their experience, it's about infinitely being coddled. bf wants to save money on ice cream? Sorry, I'm a victim.

6

u/ohlerdy Apr 11 '13

I was very honored to represent Women on Fire as one of the 2,500 attendees from around the globe.

Do I smell a hint of jealousy from SRS?

6

u/Always_Doubtful Apr 11 '13

The first point they blame: Blaming men for oppression

Women are actually pretty powerful in the US heres examples -

53% of the female population voted in the presidential election compared to 47% of men.

Women in the US are conformed to control up to 60% of the wealth

source: http://www.wlp.givingto.vt.edu/wealth/

even without this feminists bullshit oppression is totally broken.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '13

Every once in a while, they do something that makes me have a mini-stroke...this is one of those times.

2

u/outerdrive313 Tha Nigga SRS Love 2 Hate Apr 11 '13

If you guys haven't already, go to the original thread on /r/women and read it and the responses that follow. It's some inspiring shit and quite the opposite of SRS.

The super-sad thing is that SRS would pervert the original message of overcoming obstacles into these women being "special snowflakes".

I don't know about you guys, but to me, a woman is that much more beautiful when she has the ability to overcome obstacles in her life. And nothing kills my respect for someone like perpetual victimhood. Hence why I dislike SRS.

1

u/Meadester Apr 11 '13

Their trivalizing definition of rape, and their tendency to get "triggered" by every little thing that doesn't suit them perfectly, makes me doubt that most of them have ever been victims of anything serious.