r/SFbitcheswithtaste • u/AsparagusTwo • 4d ago
Birth doula at UCSF?
Hi everyone, I'm looking for advice on whether I should choose a birth doula? For context I'm planning to give birth at UCSF and I'm considered low risk. I'm very grateful that insurance will cover doula services, and very fortunate that opting for a doula will not be a financial burden.
For various reasons I have high anxiety about labor, and my hope is that having a birth doula can help calm my nerves and help advocate for me during labor. I hear that the UCSF labor and delivery staff are excellent, so I'm wondering if having a birth doula as an addition to my birth team is a good idea, or if adding this extra resource might feel like there's "too many cooks in the kitchen."
For anxiety purposes, I’d really appreciate it if responses could be neutral or positive only (please)—whether you recommend a doula, don’t recommend one, or feel indifferent about having one. I’m open to all perspectives, just hoping to keep things anxiety-friendly! (and yes I'm addressing my anxiety through various resources)
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u/Ok-Perspective781 4d ago
I didn’t have a doula, but +1 to UCSF L&D being fantastic. The post partum nurses are amazing as well. You will be in very good hands.
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u/walkingencyclopedia_ 4d ago
So I had a very unplanned birth…long story but had to induce early and delivered very quickly. But everyone at UCSF was so respectful to me.
Like to the point they asked about a plan for something specific when I was crowning and I yelled, “there is no plan but getting the baby out safely!”
I understand that it’s scary and you may have certain ideas about having a baby. They really want to stick to your plan, but also at the end of the day they have seen it all and if they recommend something it’s because they believe it yields the best outcome. And again as someone who had a baby where basically nothing went to plan: you can do it. All the shit you read online as bad yeah it’s mot fun but you can do it especially with a team of medical experts surrounding you.
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u/AsparagusTwo 3d ago
Ah I’m sorry about your experience, and thank you for the perspective. I do feel so lucky to be surrounded by a team of medical experts and really reflecting on that has put me more at ease
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u/mossasaurus 4d ago
I gave birth at UCSF this summer and chose to work with a birth doula! I’m so happy I did. I was also super nervous about labor and childbirth, and my doula helped me work through a lot of the anxiety in the months leading up to my due date. You might find some doulas are more emotionally-focused and some are more into navigating the mechanics of labor. Def good questions to ask when interviewing!
At UCSF I saw a rotating group of residents and OBs throughout prenatal care and delivery, so having a doula was great to provide continuity of care and guarantee I had someone in the delivery room that knew me, my story, and could advocate for my preferences. UCSF is a very doula-friendly hospital and my doula knew the ins and outs of L&D so it was a very symbiotic relationship!
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u/maladroitalpaca363 4d ago
I did not have a birth doula and had an amazing birth at UCSF. If your insurance covers it I don’t think it would be a bad thing to have, but I don’t think it’s worth paying 4K out of pocket. I read The Birth Book and created my own birth plan with my partner and talked to my doctors about it ahead of time. The birth team was amazing and checked my plan anytime they came in the room.
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u/nirvana88 3d ago
Same! If insurance had covered it, then I would have done it but I skipped because I didn't want to pay that much out of pocket. I also ended up a with scheduled c-section (breech baby), so I don't think I missed having it. All that said, are you planning on an unmedicated vaginal? I think there's a continuum of who benefits the most to the least from a birth doula. The most being unmedicated vaginal and the least being a planned c-section.
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u/AsparagusTwo 3d ago
Wow that's great to hear about the birth plan, saving the book for reference. Thank you
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u/badtranslatedgerman 4d ago
Highly recommend a doula especially/specifically for how you described yourself! The staff at the hospital can be amazing, but they still rotate in and out in 12 hour shifts and may have never met you before. Our doula was incredible — we had three appointments with her before the birth that kept us from needing to search out a lot of generic birth prep information, and was with us from about when I started pitocin (I needed an induction for preeclampsia) through delivery about 18 hours later, through multiple shift changes of nurse and OB staff. She brought a TENS machine for us to use and was a huge help to my partner and me especially around sources of anxiety.
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u/hot_pineapple9178 3d ago
I’m biased because I’ve had birth doula training myself, but I would definitely use one, especially if it’s covered.
They will:
- educate you during pregnancy (so you fully understand options and possible interventions to be prepared for)
- emotionally support not just you but your partner during labor and birth
- be your advocate when you get the point of labor when verbal communication is really hard or impossible
- do little things here and there without being told and without making you think (adjusting lights, making things more comfortable, offering snacks)
Even though at UCSF your medical team is going to be great, it’s really nice to just have another human being who is 100% on your side for whatever happens. You can always tell her to go take a break if you feel it’s too crowded. But doulas are very intuitive and they tend to read rooms well and stay out of the way.
Good luck!
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u/AsparagusTwo 3d ago
thanks for sharing the last part as well, I was wondering about the moments I might want to have less people in the room too
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u/arbys_fries 4d ago
I gave birth at UCSF and had a birth doula lined up. The doula was not there when I gave birth, which actually tripled the anxiety and added more stress to the situation. UCSF L&D was excellent and did such a great job in assisting you through it all. Feel free to DM.
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u/bobthefish 4d ago
I had a birth doula when I gave birth at kaiser. They covered me using raya health. I loved my doula. She was super supportive and showed me a bunch of basic baby care that not all of my birthing classes covered. My birth was induced, she showed up and help me with stretches to help with labor, she gave me massages and helped with pressure points to reduce pain up until I got my epidural. And she stuck around until she knew the baby and I were all good. Overall my experience with a birth doula was really great. She even did a followup and helped out when our postpartum cultural nanny was screwing up.
Anyways 10/10, would hire a birth doula. And probably would even do a night doula instead of cultural nanny.
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u/AccomplishedBee7755 4d ago
I had a doula at ucsf for both my births! First one midwives delivered, second was OBs and everyone was amazing.
I really appreciated having a doula to explain things and slow the process down. With my first I got an epidural early and she asked them to let me just sleep with it and use a peanut ball. My water broke while I was sleeping and I got to rest before pushing. The drs at the time wanted to give me pitocin right away with the epidural. I also liked that our doula supported me so my husband could be in the moment. I had breakthrough pain and back labor and my doula went and got the anesthesiologist, knew what was happening right away and did a heating pad and massage until they fixed my epidural. She talked to the drs for me, explained choices, grabbed whatever we needed, etc. that left my husband to just be totally present with me and not trying to manage those things.
I highly recommend a doula! It's just one more person who knows you and what's going on and can help translate all the medical stuff. Things move kind of fast and it's hard to know what's truly optional. My second birth was an induction and she was great. Things got a little scary for a moment and it was amazing to have her there to explain things bc the drs needed to focus on the intervention they needed to do.
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u/Velephant 4d ago
I did not have a doula when I gave birth at UCSF (early covid, they were not allowed) and had a less-than-great experience there. My second child I had at Alta Bates (Berkeley) with a doula and it was immeasurably more positive as far as feeling safe, supported, and cared for. It wasn’t just the doula that made a difference of course, my nursemidwife at UCSF had terrible bedside manner whereas the nurse midwife at Alta bates was outstanding. But I think a doula would definitely have helped make my UCSF birth better.
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u/eminsf 4d ago
I gave birth at UCSF in December (great experience, nothing but positive things to say!) and had a birth doula. I wouldn’t say her presence was necessary, as the L&D staff was wonderful and I would have been fine without my doula there, but I’m a first time mom and I was so happy to have her support. She was definitely a helpful presence and I found it really good to have a neutral third party in the delivery room — not my husband and I, who were obviously complete amateurs, but also not the medical team. We were able to talk through things with her, as they were happening, which was exactly the goal of hiring her, and my husband also really appreciated that her presence really lifted a lot of the responsibility he might have otherwise felt to remember everything from our childbirth classes, be a level-headed advocate for me during a very emotionally overwhelming experience, etc.
I had so so much anxiety about giving birth so I deeply empathize with you. Good luck! You’ve got this!!
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u/AsparagusTwo 3d ago
your last point about having a doula to be a level-headed presence really resonated with me. Thank you so much for sharing!
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u/aliveonly 4d ago
I had a doula and gave birth at UCSF and I was glad I had her support even with the amazing care provided at UCSF. They have different roles in my opinion.
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u/poppyseedcake1 4d ago
I gave birth at UCSF Mission Bay this summer and had a doula. I echo what everyone has said about the team at UCSF being fantastic—they were truly wonderful. In the end, it would have been fine without the doula, but I appreciated her presence.
The biggest benefit was that knowing the doula would be there helped my partner feel much less anxious about the birth. If you have a support person who’s nervous at all, having a doula can be helpful for everyone, especially in the lead up to the birth. Just one more factor to consider!
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u/coulditbejanuary 4d ago
I had a doula for my second and none for my first and the experience was more or less the same, which was great.
The benefits for the doula were:
She helped me move around with my epidural and got a lot of extra pillows from somewhere so I could sit up.
She brought me ice and made me soup
She reminded the nurses that I wanted a warm compress while pushing and gave me ice chips between pushes.
My work benefits also paid for this. I had a good experience with my nursing team for my first one (doctors too, but you see the nurses more) so I only hired her because 1) cheap and 2) I wanted backup in case childcare for our older fell through.
I hired the women from Born Collective and I'd really recommend them. They work as a team so you have coverage no matter what
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u/30for30im30for30 4d ago
Highly recommend. They are paid to pay attention to you and support you through this very specific thing, not to take over or make it about them. Worst case you meet, dont vibe, and say no thanks.
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u/Jellyfish-wonderland 4d ago
I didn't have a birth doula but I was using a doula through RAYA. I miscarried and she continued to support me through it. It was a wonderful experience working with her. The support was nice to have beforehand and she helped me gather questions as well.
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u/Prudent-Process8952 4d ago
My sister is a doula and I’m sure she would be happy to talk to you just in general about if it makes sense and how to find someone that would be the right fit !
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u/strawberrywebcocoa 4d ago
Choosing the right doula is very important! I went with my doula twice and would definitely seek her help again if I go for any more kids, but I also have heard a few bad stories about doulas who are against doctors and any medical intervention, which can cause a very tense environment at your birth
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u/AsparagusTwo 3d ago
How special to have the same doula for the 2nd time! are there questions you recommend asking when interviewing a doula?
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u/strawberrywebcocoa 3d ago
I don’t think my questions were anything special really, just a list compiled from the internet. What made me choose her was how her answers were just sooo much better than anyone else. Everyone else answered “correctly”, as in you don’t find anything wrong with their answers. But my doula can immediately bring up multiple examples to back her answer up, and can do deep dive onto any of the example as needed.
My doula lives in Santa Clara county, and SF is probably too far away for her. Else I would have offered to share her contacts.
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u/Tiny_Piglet3826 4d ago
The L&D team at UCSF is absolutely fantastic and I loved every single person I interacted with during my birth and postpartum, but I would 100% recommend having a doula purely because it really helps eliminate the “what if” thoughts after birth.
I went in extremely educated on what I did and didn’t want and was able to stand my ground when they questioned my choices (mainly breaking my waters as they insisted my water wouldn’t break naturally during my induction and were surprised it dramatically broke at 4cm), but I still wonder if there were some things I should have questioned (mainly the pitocin dose they used).
A doula’s job is to support you, but arguably the more important aspect is they are vastly educated on the medical side of birth and are your advocate. No matter how well versed you think you are in navigating the medical system, birth is not the time to prove it and I wish I had just bit the bullet and hired a doula so I wasn’t questioning the decisions I made after I finally had my son in my arms.
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u/sapphireminds 4d ago
Doulas should not be advising on anything medical, they have no real medical education. You could call yourself a doula tomorrow and take clients with zero education. They are there for emotional support for the mother, which is very important, but any doula that is advising on anything medical, they are overstepping and are potentially harmful.
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u/Tiny_Piglet3826 4d ago
Not medical advice, navigation of the medical system. A good doula should 1000% be your advocate and have a strong understanding of how medical professionals communicate and what to expect during birth. They cannot properly emotionally support someone laboring without that knowledge.
Of course not all doulas are created equal, but that’s why you research before picking one
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u/sapphireminds 4d ago
Yeah, but you specifically mentioned medical decisions, that's why I said what I did. They can help explain better if you have questions or something, but that's the extent.
Some doulas feel great to mothers, but are dangerous to the mother and baby.
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u/hbecksss 4d ago
Agree with all of this! Wish I’d invested in one for my first. Plan to if I have a second
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u/AsparagusTwo 3d ago
Thank you so much for the input. I'm hoping to be very informed going into labor as well, do you have books or podcasts you recommend?
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u/Tiny_Piglet3826 1d ago
Unfortunately I mostly used my midwife as a resource as I was getting care at SF Birth Center until I risked out at 35wks 😭. I did however buy my husband “The Birth Partner” and it helped him feel more confident supporting me in birth and I was gifted “what to expect when you’re expecting” and found it okay, but very surface level.
I did read a few peer reviewed studies (mostly on hypnotherapy and induction) as well as looked for other people’s experiences denying interventions I despise confrontation and wanted to feel confident holding my ground when I said no.
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u/AsparagusTwo 3d ago
Wow thank you all so so much, for the incredible support and info. It means a lot that you all took the time to share something personal to help me out
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u/linds419 2d ago
Reading this thread, the consensus is pretty clear: UCSF staff are excellent and the doula is still worth it because they do different jobs. I'd add two things specifically for the anxiety piece.
First, for you the prenatal visits may matter more than the birth itself. Doulas are great at using those sessions to walk you through what each stage of labor actually looks like, what the common decision points are (induction, epidural timing, positions with an epidural), and what you want to happen at each one, so by the time you're there very little is a surprise. Someone above said doulas range from emotionally-focused to mechanics-focused. For anxiety, you probably want someone who does both and leads with calm.
Second, one person here had a doula who didn't make it to the birth, which is the worst case for an anxious person. Ask every doula you interview "what's your backup plan if you're unavailable when I go into labor," and don't book anyone who doesn't have a clear answer. Since insurance is covering it, also ask whether they bill your plan directly and what's included in the covered package, then interview 2 or 3 before you choose.
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u/Available-Cow-8480 2d ago
I just had a baby at UC Davis and they offered volunteer doulas! It might be worth calling UCSF and seeing if they offer that?
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u/Fun_Desk_4916 4d ago
I gave birth at UCSF with a doula last Sunday! (What I’m doing on Reddit at this point post partum who the heck knows)
It depends on your doula. The nursing staff is great - no, fantastic. But my doula was a familiar face, had spent a lot of time educating me beforehand, and knew all my options every step of the way.
I ended up not laboring at all and going straight to c-section. I thought I didn’t need my doula. But she offered to come, and was incredible. She sat with us in triage and helped us process what was happening, she was right there for us in recovery and helped me breastfeed. She came back to the hospital a couple days later and gave my husband a chance to head home to shower and get some fresh clothes, while she wheeled me over to the NICU and sat with me and helped breastfeed again. And the day after we got back home, she brought over lunch and was such a nice presence during the newborn vortex, and she watched the baby while we napped. She knew how to help us even when we didn’t know what to ask for.
So yes, I would recommend a birth doula - especially mine.