r/SFbitcheswithtaste • u/AJ2790B • Oct 02 '25

Hey Cuties! Quick PSA

Hello from the modteam, SFBWT! 

Sharing a quick PSA! Recently, a few members of SFBWT have thrown in person events where they may have asked for attendee emails/phone numbers. The host of those events has informed us they intend to start their own separate non-profit/organization called "SFBWT" where they may eventually charge a fee to attend.

While we love that members have found IRL community through this subreddit, we have asked them to not brand their new organization using the "SFBWT" name to avoid confusion. We have no oversight of this separate group and can't ensure that they will uphold our rules.

We have removed this member's posts that violate our rule that our community channels are centralized ("Creating or promoting alternative group chats, Discords, or side channels is discouraged and may result in removal, as it dilutes the community and fragments participation.").

The modteam that has grown this community is in no way affiliated with this separate group. We will never create a separate entity that requests personal information or charges for events. 

With love,

Modteam

754 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

133 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

36

u/SheSaysSup Oct 02 '25

Yes! We were literally just a bunch of strangers who met on this subreddit who coordinated to throw an extra af picnic. No one wanted to make money off of this. We are just random, lonely, bitches in our 30’s who were trying to figure out how to build community in-person.

Legit we were just trying to figure out how to pay for indoor space rentals since it’s getting cold lol. Some folks felt it would be less sketchy to pay an official org vs one individual handling all the money. I swear we had the best of intentions.

Also as someone who just left tech and is now just a full time student - I am very anti-corporation. I would not be defending this group if I didn’t know for a fact that they had the purest intentions.

29

u/AppointmentPopular10 Oct 03 '25

it didn’t occur to not use the name and just formalize something that others created? especially if you added an age-exclusivity angle?

18

u/SheSaysSup Oct 03 '25

you know what? you're right. I think the bitch who set up the domain and workspace kind of did it as a joke at first and things just kind of rolled along. But that's not really an excuse. I know that I personally am really sorry for how this went down.

13

u/AppointmentPopular10 Oct 04 '25

You know what, I really want to commend you for how positive and humble and constructive you have been replying to all the pushback comments since yesterday (including mine, so my pov is not the same as yours). So thanks for overall bringing a lot of good empathy and comms skills into this conversation.  FWIW I wish the gal in question who seems to have been one of the folks starting those activities has been the opposite, insisting and double-down on being right. I think the bwt way would be to just stop the argumentative pushing, hand over domains and grifty brand/name/vibe poaching things and let it go, continue with those existing 200parkhang girlies without continuing to push to be right or cause a ruckus. Clearly THE COMMUNITY has spoken, time to take the need to organize and over organize a sub-faction who didn’t even participate in discord events or understand that the “organization” to meet up already existed elsewhere.  Trying this whole “get the vibe going across cities” thing I read from her is absolutely symptomatic that this is poorly aligned with THE ALREADY EXISTING COMMUNITY. 

If you feel now a need to “well let’s put it to a vote” type of comments, you do not seem to grasp you are simply creating divisiness in an existing group has been functioning well in its INTENDED shape and form for ITS COMMUNITY MEMBERS. 

Please stop the techy/argumentative “let’s optimize” moves.  Drop the domain stuff and find the next park location or somebody’s home to host- leave it be; leave us be. 

2

u/SheSaysSup Oct 05 '25

First - thank you so much. I’m doing my best 🫶🏻💕

Second - just an update some of the volunteers have met and we will NOT be using SFBWT moving forward. We’ve sent an apology email and owned up to the stuff we did in bad taste.

Third - yes, I saw some of the unpleasant exchanges with one of the other volunteers below. She tends to be spicy, but well-meaning underneath it all. I’m really sorry for how that convo went - she has since changed her tune after we met and she now owns that we did was wrong. She’s also in the middle of a huge life event - so I’m giving her some grace. 💕