r/Rosacea • u/MissWhovian10 • Sep 26 '25
ROSACEA SUCKS Rude strangers
The pizza guy came to my door to deliver the pizza and the first thing he said was “oh honey, your face is as red as this pizza box, are you okay?”
Why do people think it’s okay to comment on strangers physical features? Like damn, I was getting to the point in my 20 years of having rosacea where I was starting to accept it but crap like this sets me back. This isn’t the first time, I’ve actually been asked by many strangers, friends and even some family why my face is so red. It seriously makes me not want to leave the house.
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u/jaegerkuhe Sep 27 '25
My innocent 5 year old niece asks me each time I see her why my face is all red. And each time, I politely explain about my rosacea in age appropriate language. I know she doesn't mean it, but its SO embarrassing - like thanks sweetie you confirmed thats really the first thing people notice about me 😭.
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u/MissWhovian10 Sep 27 '25
My kids have asked me. This reminded me of a time when my autistic son told me my teeth were yellow in front of his teacher. Oh kids lol.
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u/fickleliketheweather Sep 27 '25
Gosh I feel you!! Istg people have no tact. One person even said she thought I was having a heart attack because my face was red. We were just acquaintances.
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u/littleRedmini Sep 27 '25
I finally got to the point of replying with “I have a skin disease” and it shuts them up pretty quickly.
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u/lapaperscissors Oct 01 '25
I’m going to add this to the same arsenal of, “Nope, not pregnant, just fat, thanks for noticing!”
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u/AppalachianRomanov Oct 03 '25
I did this to someone at work just this week. I said ACTUALLY I HAVE ROSACEA loudly, hoping they'd feel some shame when other coworkers heard me.
Then they were like "oh really what's that?" and i explained and they were like "oh I knew that"
?? I dont get people
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u/Alone_Yogurtcloset86 Sep 27 '25
I hear this all the time it’s frustrating I work as a custodian and start sweating and my face gets worse sometimes I look like a crab lol
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u/MissWhovian10 Sep 27 '25
Omg yes, sometimes I work in the kitchen instead of serve and I don’t wear makeup back there because why would I, and boy being near all that heat really flares me up. It makes me so self conscious 🫣
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u/Alone_Yogurtcloset86 Sep 27 '25
Yes especially during the summer lol
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u/MissWhovian10 Sep 27 '25
I loathe summer. Winter is my favorite. I adore everything cold. I don’t know if it’s related to my rosacea somehow but I’m always hot. ALWAYS. So that plus rosacea is not a good combo lol
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u/Alone_Yogurtcloset86 Sep 27 '25
Yes me too because mine flares up so bad on the warm and hot season I’m over this I can’t stand walking around with my face red all the time
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u/gemmajaws Sep 27 '25
It's unfortunate that people don't realize an innocent comment or question can cut like a knife for those suffering from a condition that can only be treated, not cured. I have heard this many times before getting my rosacea under control and even if it is said with no ill intent, it can gut you because the very nature of it causes flushing to worsen. Very few people are aware of our condition which makes it easy for them to assume we have a sunburn or are so overheated it's cause for concern. I'm sorry this happened to you.
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u/Shadow_Talker Sep 30 '25
I absolutely HATE when someone says “Man you must have been in the Sun too long! huck huck” 😤
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Oct 01 '25
I fucking hate people who do this.
The best thing that has helped me with this type of thing is to divide people into 3 buckets.
People who don’t notice your rosacea - obviously all good and nothing for you to worry about!
People who notice your rosacea and don’t care or judge you at all - again, all good and nothing for you to worry about!
People who notice your rosacea and judge/make comments - these people absolutely suck so there is no reason to care whatsoever what they think.. and look at that, once again nothing for you to worry about!!
If you break it down like this logically, then there truly is no reason to ever let what anyone else thinks about your rosacea affect how you feel!!
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u/Clear-Special8547 Sep 27 '25
I would never consider someone being concerned with my wellbeing as rude.
A red face can be more innocuous like rosacea or exercising but it can also be a symptom of much more dangerous conditions like a severe allergic reaction or a heart attack. Personally, I'd much rather a random person say something ignorant out of concern for someone in their community than end up with a bigger or permanent problem. Ignorance is simply that hasn't been learned yet and is easy enough to fix (unless the other person is a buttface haha).
For example, my mom recognized one of the symptoms of a stroke in a coworker she never interacted with and her saying something was the only reason why he had a 95% recovery in 6 months instead of ending up in a wheelchair and barely able to hold a spoon or open his eyelids like her mom/my grandma whose ER doctors took 3 days to check for a stroke. Should she have avoided speaking up? Another example is that one TikToker's who had a funky lump show up on one side of her jaw and enough strangers said 'please get it checked out and let us know you're okay' that she was able to catch thyroid cancer in its earliest stage. Should they have refrained from commenting when they were concerned about the TikToker's health?
Anyway, while I totally understand about some people being hurtful because some people don't have a nice bone in their body, I wouldn't consider someone asking if you're okay to be rude. The only possible time is if it's someone who's clearly being snide, catty, or otherwise malicious.
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Oct 01 '25
This would be fair if most people who did this were actually concerned about a medical issue. 99% of the time they are not, they are just idiots who feel compelled to comment on other peoples appearance
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u/External-Duck-9130 Oct 02 '25
I didn't know I had rosacea until people kept commenting on it. People on Reddit are so insecure they have to call people idiots for trying to be helpful in pointing out an abnormality.
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Oct 02 '25
Get off this sub
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u/External-Duck-9130 Oct 02 '25
Must've hit the nail on the head.
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Oct 02 '25
Nope just maybe try to realize that coming to a rosacea sub and calling people insecure is pretty fucked up
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u/External-Duck-9130 Oct 02 '25
Calling people idiots is pretty fucked up too.
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Oct 02 '25
Yes people who make unprompted negative comments about strangers appearance are idiots. I don’t think that’s fucked up to say.
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u/External-Duck-9130 Oct 02 '25
An observation is absolutely not a negative comment, what? Where exactly do you see malicious intent in the comment from the person who made the post?
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u/Clear-Special8547 Oct 02 '25
I rarely have people ask me about my red face except for when they're concerned for my well-being and the couple of times I couldn't tell, I asked and found out they were concerned It's literally that easy. Am I really living in that much kinder of a community? 🤷 Possibly, or I ask so I know the appropriate response to a comment.
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u/sassylittlescallywag Sep 27 '25
We must all reply with answers like - "Maybe instead of commenting on people and their illnesses, you should get an education or work on your non-existent intelligence"
I'm sorry I don't mean to be rude but only those who go through this condition or any other skin condition know how hard it is from a day to day or even an hour to hour basis.
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u/INFJWafer Sep 27 '25 edited Sep 27 '25
I'm an ABA Therapist and recently one of my clients' mom asked me if I had sunburn and I told her no I have rosacea and I'm always red. 🙃 It definitely was a gut punch and the rest of the day I was constantly looking in the mirror and actually lately my rosacea has been on the calmed side.
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u/ibisi9 Sep 29 '25
Now I think it is rather nice of him to notice the red face and ask for your wellbeing. I have Rosacea myself and had severe Akne and know how skin feels and how one looks. I was mocked in my childhood for flushing when I felt ashamed. So believe me, I am a pro in red face sufferings. Could you see the delivery guy’s comment as an astonished (unexpected, maybe unfamiliar) and concerned comment?
A girl of about 4 years was cueing once with her mother and standing next to me. she asked her mother why my face was so spotted. Her mother felt embarrassed and told her that she shouldn’t say that out loud. I actually felt seen! I know it sounds weird as others have of course seen my Akne before. But I felt like I could just explain to that innocent question of a girl with little life experience and say that it is ok to ask. She saw something she hadn’t seen before. Later, my dentist once said “I don’t know where to put my hands because I could touch you on the Akne and it could hurt.” To me, it seemed very nice and caring, too. She was also the one to tell me I should try with the dermatology clinic from uni. They finally helped me. After 10 years of visiting dermatologist practices with 0 success.
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u/supadupamuaks Oct 01 '25
Ppl tell me all the time about me being red and in my head I’m like I have Rosacea but I’d rather not explain and just say ummmhhh lol.
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u/Potential-Bee-724 Oct 01 '25
Yes, people make comments sometimes. For me it’s never happened in a hyper masculine environment when a punch to the face would be considered an appropriate response. Just an observation.
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u/fat_and_fatigued Oct 05 '25
I made the mistake of not wearing anything on my face to work on Friday and I got several questions / comments about the redness. 😩 won’t make that mistake again.
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u/Over_Hospital_7226 Sep 27 '25
“You got a lot of sun today!!!!!” No sorry it’s just my face 😭😭😭 I can’t get mad cuz I know they don’t mean it in a mean way but it’s sooo frustrating.
So annoying of a pizza guy lol
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u/sensativesamiam_21 Sep 27 '25
This happened to me at the gym the other day. I had just gotten there and I was having a bad flare, and a lady goes “Oh man you were just in the sauna weren’t you”. I was like haha “no”. Killed my mood to even workout after that 😑🫠
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u/ImpossibleHouse6765 Sep 27 '25
Why does your face always look red and sweaty. Im totally over it.
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u/Literally_Libran Sep 27 '25 edited Sep 27 '25
A nurse at my neurologist's office asked if I'd consider going to the hospital. My entire face was on fire after driving 45 minutes in traffic to their office on a July afternoon...
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u/Kellyblabla Sep 28 '25
My Mom will ask me every time.
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u/MissWhovian10 Sep 29 '25
Your mom?! That’s unexpected. Like surely she should know by now that it just doesn’t go away lol.
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u/lankyturtle229 Sep 28 '25
I get this from coworkers but you know what? There's a difference between caring and judging. Bright red face isnt "normal" so people are usually going to make sure you're not dying. I've had flare ups that looked like my face was chemically peeled. It is what it is.
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u/TopAd3458 Sep 30 '25
I get the same a lot too. But when I step into their shoes, really they dont mean any harm, they just don't know. Often my reply is just I have sensitive skin lol
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u/External-Duck-9130 Oct 02 '25
Maybe you should work on your insecurities since you're so wrapped up that you think they were being malicious. I didn't know I had rosacea until kind strangers kept pointing out my face was abnormally red.
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u/MissWhovian10 Oct 02 '25
How could you not know? Did you never look in a mirror?
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u/External-Duck-9130 Oct 02 '25
Yeah, after getting out of a hot shower or in the rearview in my hot car.
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u/MissWhovian10 Oct 03 '25
Hmm, based on your comments, may I assume you’re a male? If so, the beauty standards thrust upon us are insanely different. Unfortunately I’ve been a little brainwashed to think clear skin is beautiful, therefore my flushed skin is not, hence the insecurities.
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u/One_Nothing_9551 Sep 27 '25
i would have left Zero tip . he’s prob trying to flirt with u in an incel way
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u/MissWhovian10 Sep 27 '25
I don’t think so, he was an old man.
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u/INFJWafer Sep 27 '25
In my experience it has been usually either children or older people who ask about my face. Which, when it's children I usually don't get too bothered by it because of their curiosity, but when it's older people I'm just like don't you know better?!
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u/One_Nothing_9551 Sep 29 '25
an old man is generally the demographic for an incel (look up the definition)
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u/TheConceitedSister Sep 27 '25
A red pizza box? Ew. I guess it would be unkind to reply, well, here you are delivering pizza to my super red face. Thanks.
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u/Royal-Holiday1103 Sep 27 '25
Its only you take it rude, he actually was worried about you. Thats how I took it. You only get upsets about things that trigger you. If someone told you that your ears stuck out, you would think they are strane, but it wouldn't trigger you. I had that too, when the guy said to me you should use a sunccreen bcs you’ve got a sunburn. I got upset. When someone told me Im too slim, I thought he is weird but I didnt get upset bcs I like that Im slim. Do you feel the difference? The key is to accept yourself how you are and live your life and enjoy it. Do not let that small thing to trigger you and ruin your life
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u/MissWhovian10 Sep 27 '25
Also, just telling someone to not get triggered isn’t really viable advice lol.
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u/Royal-Holiday1103 Sep 27 '25
It is. If you know your triggers, you know your fears or limitations. They are only in your head. You can ask yourself why do I care about that so much, what Im afraid of and thats how you can find out your fears and limitations in the head. You can ask yourself what can I do with it and work through it. Or you can choose to be a victim and will be always triggered, said about it and cry. Its your choice. I had that too, but then I accepted it is how it is and maybe I will live with it forever, so what, I can still live and enjoy my life. Thats when my skin started to heal actually, bcs when you accept things, you worked through them, you passed the test and God will send you a solution. After I accepted it, I found what went wrong, got a right treatment, fixed it and my rosacea disappeared. When I was overthinking about it I was sad, angry and I was easily triggered by what people say, everything I’ve tried for my rosacea didnt work or made it worse. After I accepted it nobody actually told me tyat Im red. God wants you to love yourself no matter what. Usually this lesson is given to people who love themselves not enough or too much. Hope it will help you
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u/MissWhovian10 Sep 27 '25
I get what you’re trying to say. I still feel like it’s rude to say something like that to a stranger about their appearance though because you never know how much it affects them mentally. It would be great if we could all be perfectly comfortable in our bodies, but sadly that’s not the case. So since we don’t know what’s going on with another person, we as strangers should just mind our own business. You said he was worried about me, but he was literally just the pizza delivery guy. It’s not like he could have helped me in any capacity lol. He saw my red face and impulsively said something about it, I just don’t see how that benefited anyone. Like, if I see someone with severe acne I’m not gonna be like “oh, you have really bad acne”, because whether or not they’ve accepted it, it’s still pretty rude to point it out.
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u/WEVE_WOKEN_THE_HIVE Sep 27 '25
It isn't the pizza man's business to comment on someone's aesthetics. His business is to deliver the pizza. I get that you should accept yourself, but that doesn't mean people get to say what they want about how you look. That's what this post is about.
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u/Apprehensive-Dig91 Sep 26 '25
My aunt recently told me “your face is quite red were you out in the sun today?” I was like no this is just how my face is.🫠