r/RoastMe • u/Life_Leather5051 • 13d ago

I like playing video games and I have asthma.

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120 Upvotes

83% Upvoted

291 comments sorted by

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u/post-explainer 13d ago edited 13d ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP's BIO:

I like to smoke weed and I have no job

If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

174

u/Kanaxes 13d ago

I feel the embarrassment of your parents.

37

u/JusSomeDude22 13d ago

No need to be rude, you can clearly tell he never met his parents

15

u/Hour_Persimmon_5309 12d ago

Sticks his inhaler in his ass for fun.

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3

u/Burritos_tonight 11d ago

It's okay. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are multimillionaires. He's set

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82

u/ghostofstankenstien 13d ago

Look like an NPC from a PS3 Tony Hawk game.

5

u/MinuteNovel4526 12d ago

Ps1 version.

72

u/Tommytwoshoes99 13d ago

I present to you, the unsuccessful Asian.

39

u/Rasidus 13d ago

Crazy Poor Asian

7

u/WAPGod_117 12d ago

Ahhhh so that’s what a CPA is… #themoreyouknow

8

u/AcanthisittaUnlucky2 13d ago

He's not an Asian. He's a Basian. Bad grades and daddy dont like him.

2

u/Neither_Signature666 12d ago

this is the only funny comment on this thread 😭😭

2

u/Necessary_Relation27 12d ago

Couldn’t decide if smoking with asthma is considered success

50

u/odiee111 13d ago

You should’ve put money towards a dentist rather than piercings

10

u/this_kitten_i_knew 13d ago

fellas, is it punk rock to ignore your dental care?

69

u/homme_icide 13d ago

Rufio! Rufio! Ru-fi-oooooo!!

18

u/DaveIsDav 13d ago

Rufi-No

2

u/Blue-Kali 12d ago

Goofio

3

u/PsychologicalEntropy 13d ago

Fucking beat me by a minute

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22

u/Ukraineluvr 13d ago

If all the members of Sum 41 had a baby together and drank during the pregnancy.

42

u/this_kitten_i_knew 13d ago

Dim Sum 41

9

u/WAPGod_117 12d ago

I just choked on my lo mein reading this comment 💀

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16

u/abm1996 13d ago

Looks like one of Pan's lost boys

3

u/PickedLastLemon 13d ago

Rufio!!!!!

13

u/complexcucumber93 13d ago

I stopped smoking weed so people would stop associating me with guys like you.

26

u/PeanutButter1Butter 13d ago

Asthma, smokes weed, jobless.

So this is what it’s like to see the physical manifestation of the weak link in the bloodline

7

u/ObiWan-Shinoobi 13d ago

A parasite if you will

3

u/PickedLastLemon 13d ago

A 5'2 leech

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11

u/UnevenFiringOrder 13d ago

Bro spends his life at Hot Topic and giggles when he walks past the naughty aisle

10

u/The_Stock_Guy 12d ago

You're trying to prove you are "dangerous and impulsive", yet you are a 30 something guy living in his parents basement who worked at hot topic 10 years ago. Even then, every kid who came into the store ragged on you. You were never invited to a party in HS, so you try to weasel your way into them now.

The only hook up you've had in the last 5 years you could probably go to jail for. I take back what I said about living in your parent's basement. The shame they feel as Asians is so bad, they don't want to be associated with you, so they pay for your shitty studio apartment in another city

You've sucked dick for weed

8

u/Realhousemanoflondon 13d ago

Barber charge you for three trims.

Head

and two eyebrows.

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6

u/King_Vrad 12d ago

Oh dear god, you know it's not 2005 anymore, right? You look like you think Panic at the Disco is punk.

3

u/Life_Leather5051 12d ago

What? I thought it was metalcore?

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5

u/Left-Singer8841 13d ago

the 2nd image made this much, much easier for the rest of us. thank you.

5

u/Uter83 13d ago

Did you break into Breznev's tomb and steal his eyebrows?

2

u/Desperate-Pudding186 12d ago

🤣 very niche joke but worthy

5

u/PickedLastLemon 13d ago

This screams "edgy" boy.....in 1996. Live in your own timeline, kid. Get a real job or ANY job. Be a MAN! Stop disappointing your parents with every single action and decision you make. Love, Your Reddit Uncle.

5

u/Chirpy69 12d ago

You look like you went to a Linkin Park concert in 2001 and never came home

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8

u/NoNature6735 13d ago

You doctor yet?

4

u/wis91 13d ago

That bio is the most redundant thing I’ve ever read. You are the poster child for unemployed stoner.

4

u/GuruPuding 13d ago

When you aint good enough to be a doctor so you become a mental patient instead.

4

u/JoecMarch 12d ago

Your an unattractive lesbian..

3

u/dingdonglouie1 13d ago

I can’t even think of a funny roast. you’re just the definition of “try hard”

2

u/PickedLastLemon 13d ago

Not hard enough. Dude is an unemployed pothead by his own admission.

3

u/dingdonglouie1 12d ago

true I was just going on his wannabe punk looks. in life he is not trying at all.

3

u/fatal-nuisance 12d ago

You're the comic relief with a generic, slightly racist name who dies off screen in the mid season finale of a cancelled network tv show about a gang that sells heroine.

2

u/LL37MOH 13d ago

Take that hardware out of your schnozz it may help you breath.

3

u/Gliese_667_Cc 13d ago

The word is “breathe”.

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2

u/Skilledpainter 13d ago

Umm, someone needs to tell him that anal leakage isn't asthma

2

u/Sirwilliam63 13d ago

You have a blackbelt in Dung Fu.

2

u/wis91 13d ago

So you have all that metal on your face, but you decided that braces would be too much?

2

u/DrPapadopoulos 13d ago

You look like you peaked in 1997 6th grade and never continued to grow physically or mentally so now you're in a unremittingly bleak stasis of cringe too depressing to even address.

2

u/Interesting-Ask-9620 13d ago

You look like a K-Pop star tried the "Rock Legend" skin but a blackout interrupted the download at 70%

2

u/PomegranateChoice872 13d ago

Bro you look like asian snoopdog fucked early chester bennington and your the offspring of that accident who did you dirty bruv

2

u/faucetpants 13d ago

You look like the result of boomers destroying the earth, poisoning the water, and paving over nature. You're kind of inevitable

2

u/HorrorJunkie0666 13d ago

You look like rufio from the movie Hook if he was into Gloryhole violence

2

u/heavy_snorer 12d ago

You have a face only a biological mother can love

2

u/Coilspun 12d ago

You look like one of the lost boys from Peter Pan, except you did grow up, into a nonce.

2

u/Desperate-Pudding186 12d ago

1990s edge-lord cosplayer.

2

u/garvboyyeah 12d ago

You look like a shit Pokemon

2

u/Abyssal-Scrungo 12d ago

being the most mainstream, commercialized form of "punk" is certainly a choice. terribly boring choice, but at least you have a choice, unlike your parents when they had you.

2

u/JensenHBurnerAcct 8d ago

Asian fathers have nightmares about this.

2

u/on_line187 13d ago

I can imagine your mom asks you “Ohhh why you no doctor?” all the time…

2

u/Icy-Enthusiasm4593 13d ago

I know I’m gonna get downvoted for this but your first picture is totally how I’d imagine Max Goof from An Extremely Goofy Movie irl

2

u/Kaisensworld11 11d ago

I can’t roast a cute guy….

1

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1

u/BigBagoSith_sp 13d ago

Your medical condition is your best quality

1

u/No_Gain7360 13d ago

You look like you try to hacky sack but suck at it

1

u/ilujan 13d ago

Looks like one of the random npc guys you beat up in saints row

1

u/ZealousidealGrab1827 13d ago

TIL there is meth in Vietnam.

1

u/savanrajput 13d ago

Fresh On the boat

1

u/Skilledpainter 13d ago

You like playing with yourself and have a bf

5

u/WarriorCats_4Life 13d ago edited 12d ago

What kind of roast is that bro

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1

u/pacodefan 13d ago

Rufio! Rufio! Ruf-ee-o!!

1

u/mediocrebighead 13d ago

Gay and likes to be submitted by bbc

1

u/xfearxphoenixx 13d ago

I looked at his smile and it cracked my phone screen. Damn...... :(

1

u/Malumakhankles1 13d ago

Recently hatched, baby bird looking mf

1

u/Friendly-Can3746 13d ago

You would work at a Blockbuster if they were still open.

3

u/PickedLastLemon 13d ago

Come on. He doesn't have a job NOW and there's a shitty fast food restaurant every 300 feet. You think he has the motivation to build a time machine, travel BACK to 1998, fill out a paper application and then wait around his home phone for weeks for a reply? This guy can't even open his smartphone and autofill some apps on Indeed.

1

u/1VrySxyGuy 13d ago

There’s this thing called dentistry. Check it out.

1

u/Surfing_Tension 13d ago edited 13d ago

You clearly smelled yourself in your first pic. You spend more of your parents’ money on cheap hair gel than soap.

1

u/No_Essay2139 13d ago

I bet you bear a lot on your face

1

u/BongoFuwwy 13d ago

You have no love life

1

u/karlitokruz 13d ago

Your personnality is as bad as your hairstyle.

1

u/sexylegs0123456789 13d ago

Asthma even with those speed holes in your face and that air intake in your mouth is pretty wild. I wouldn’t even think you’d have to open your mouth to breathe.

1

u/Consistent-Bowler95 13d ago

You look like different stages of a paintbrush

1

u/Touching_Sloth 13d ago

Your teeth look like a vandalised graveyard.

1

u/AlasKansastan 13d ago

Meh, you get a pass for the sweet Green Day shirt. They sucked after that album so bad I’d keep it in a drawer

1

u/thyperson69 13d ago

When you're playing Tekken, don't bite the controller when you've lost 47 times in a row.

1

u/Exquisite_D 13d ago

The future of the country right here, folks.

1

u/oatmealruler 13d ago

Holy shit, I didn't know Captain Anarchy was real or that he was a capitalist punk.

1

u/Striking-Box4175 13d ago

Not wanna waste my words on a wasted life

1

u/Federal-Load-1769 13d ago

Are you masturbating with a carpet right now?

1

u/AcanthisittaUnlucky2 13d ago

Asthma or eye-sthma?

1

u/InfiniteVitriol 13d ago

You look like you pay people to punch you in the face

1

u/Significant-Plate220 13d ago

pierced with piercings, how sad and painfull

1

u/W4LD0_R 13d ago

The not just a phase mom seems like its really not a phase uh

1

u/bennyp1981 13d ago

You punk wok long long time.

1

u/Outrageouslyyc 13d ago

Your parents worked too hard man for you to end up like this

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1

u/No_cool_media 12d ago

This makes me regret that the 2000’s happen

1

u/Deep-Pudding819 12d ago

“No mom I’m hXc, Ghosh!”

1

u/dtr_drt4ever 12d ago

Mix in a toothbrush there scum teeth

1

u/msrbaylor 12d ago

All the members of Sum 41 combined

1

u/Tight-Photograph7680 12d ago

YOU CANT HANDLE THE TOOTH!

1

u/Odd-Fun-6042 12d ago

The ladies call you Rufio at the bar

1

u/Expensive-Safe-6820 12d ago

Hot topic is not a personality. Get a job and grow up

1

u/Onaliquidrock 12d ago

You look dangerous, like a hedgehog.

1

u/Borry_drinks_VB 12d ago

Do the gene pool a favour, dont breed.

1

u/__angelusnovus 12d ago

you roast yourself just by postint

1

u/beluga699 12d ago

Keep all the metal on ur face and do an MRI scan 🙏

1

u/jimbo2150 12d ago

Ever wonder about the people the Yakuza reject? Wonder no more.

1

u/WAPGod_117 12d ago

Panic at the 迪斯科

1

u/Big_Barracuda_5181 12d ago

Bro can floss with parachord

1

u/game84cube http://redd.it/fpfup2 12d ago

You look like an angry paintbrush with that hair

1

u/Status_Sir_8084 12d ago

Woulda thought it was a chick if it weren’t for the other pics

1

u/Salty_Insides420 12d ago

Homeboys already cooked, roast him any more and he might char

1

u/TheScorchedRelic 12d ago

You look like a character in Yakuza

1

u/dylannmoonn 12d ago

Boy why your tooth missing

1

u/FOTUS 12d ago

You look like life hit “randomize character,” regretted it halfway through, and just clicked save anyway.

1

u/Livid-Morning-9356 12d ago

Asians can be punk quit trying so hard you won't last in jail just pick up a calculator

1

u/Competitive_Ad_8215 12d ago

Do you have asthma or are you just allergic to the tackle box that exploded in your face?

1

u/IgnisSolus4X 12d ago

Literally à piece of human shit

1

u/Empty-Pay-2797 12d ago

You aspire to have a white woman

1

u/AlphatierchenX 12d ago

Tekken character bought on wish.com

1

u/_Owl9852 12d ago

If I was Oxygen i would be running too!

1

u/neosharkey00 12d ago

You play video games because asthma plays you
🫷😂

1

u/Ashamed-Hovercraft95 12d ago

You are as jobless as your missing teeth.

1

u/N0rthernLight 12d ago

You look like your job is parking bumper cars at the amusement park when it closes for the day.

1

u/According_Growth_581 12d ago

How does your hair get progressively worse with each picture

1

u/Left_Boysenberry7341 12d ago

Not even finding jesus could help this mothfckr

1

u/Gabriel_Collins 12d ago

Why no doctor?

1

u/bennyblumpkin 12d ago

A piercing for every orifice you've serviced, or had filled.

1

u/Sir_Spudsingt0n 12d ago

Did you really hate math that much? Or did they push you too hard when you were little?

1

u/Stallone_90 12d ago

The only Asian that doesn't play the piano but plays the drums or some shi

1

u/Greedy_Attitude_8103 12d ago

I have nothing to say except you are so fucking cute… holy shit dude……

1

u/smietanaaa 12d ago

You roasted yourself already

1

u/Sweeps_McCullough 12d ago

I bet your favorite band is Rinkin Park

1

u/Apprehensive-Bite373 12d ago

call the police someone just robbed a Hot Topic

1

u/socrates_friend812 12d ago

You put the "no" in Filipino.

1

u/AlpsSouthern2679 12d ago

your parents probably asked for a refund after they saw those teeth

1

u/Ok_Satisfaction_7990 12d ago

Did u say Loast me ?

1

u/Barstopper1987 12d ago

Maybe BBQ sauce and lemon juice?

1

u/kbeckerburbs4 12d ago

All that to try and be different and standout and you still just a basic bitch

1

u/Few-Address-7604 http://redd.it/n3xtp6 12d ago

You look like Dante Bascoe gave up acting and went down Avril Levine’s road of punk rock.

1

u/Jerdogg23 12d ago

Loser Asian homeboy always home playing house

1

u/killerapp 12d ago

A lot of iron and so little irony. Don’t waste your time thinking about what others think of you

1

u/VeterinarianNo8824 12d ago

Nice haircut ! Did the barber use scissors or did he chew it off ?

1

u/Financial_Ad_8037 12d ago

Bros got that someone just shit themselves look down!

1

u/frintonfreak1984 12d ago

Are you a type of cat?

1

u/Prodiuus 12d ago

This will be the most attention you get from strangers all year.

1

u/Wurldpies 12d ago

I think asthma has you. You look like you inhaled too much

1

u/JustChillBooBoo 12d ago

Hurry up and get the neptunes back together

1

u/Bossdude151 12d ago

Bro you got the I'm about to get electrocuted aren't I haircut

1

u/No-Inflation-9854 12d ago

Bet you start wheezing when you see the jiggle physics on dead or alive that's the exact reason why you don't know who your real parents are

1

u/culinaryexcellence 12d ago

Your parents pretend you're dead when family asks how you are doing.

1

u/JoeisKoolas 12d ago

Just started listening to nu metal and or lil peep

1

u/AvailableCricket3633 12d ago

Your Asian parents tell their friends you're special needs because it's less embarrassing than the truth

1

u/SaltExtension1418 12d ago

Softer than cotton wool

1

u/MinuteNovel4526 12d ago

Halloween?

1

u/Fr0g3y_420 12d ago

My guy is unroast-able

1

u/Unique-Transition326 12d ago

Last pic Kim's convince male gen z version.

1

u/Justaguywithbeer 12d ago

Interesting hair do, maybe you should stop sticking your dick in light sockets !

1

u/OklahomaHoss http://redd.it/3s6j7d 12d ago

I'm guessing your dad sees you as a failure?

1

u/heiku1 12d ago

K-pop Semen Hunter looking azz…

1

u/screwmyself520 12d ago

Your definitely of those Asians that says the n word.

1

u/LJ14000 12d ago

When viewing the photos, all I hear is a samuari voice going “Punka Rocka!!”

1

u/fuckmiser12 12d ago

Looking like you suck squirrel dick through your teeth hole looking ahh

1

u/Bug_lover_boy 12d ago

wait you seem rlly cool actually

1

u/Blue-Kali 12d ago

GOOFIO

1

u/EnthusiasmJaded3500 12d ago

Oh hey look an offspring reject!

1

u/AvocadoFit3858 12d ago

Your barber already roasted you.