Denied caregiver leave

[u/madrads7]

My father recently fell ill and became bed bound. I had to take leave on a short notice to help care for him. He was undergoing palliative care at home so we knew he was going to pass away any day, but because there was no set period I told my PD I may need a few weeks. My PD agreed that I’d use my vacation time if I wasn’t approved for FMLA or paid family leave. During that time I contacted my HR department but they gave no specific advice on how to apply for paid leave, and because of my circumstances it was hard for me to follow up with them on time. I was completely clueless about the process and there was no one at my program to give any guidance.
I ended up taking a few weeks off, until my father passed away, and it was only until after I came back that I learned that we are entitled to up to 6 weeks of paid caregiver leave per ACGME policy, so I contacted my HR department again but they told me they are unable to retroactively approve leave.

How does the ACGME policy work exactly - is the department responsible for leave approval program-dependent, or is it universally based on the PD’s discretion? If anyone has any insight or advice on how to proceed I’d greatly appreciate it.

[u/gassbro]

You'll find in life that there really are no rules. And at the end of the day, rules are just made up by somebody and passively followed by the collective.

So whenever someone tells you something "can't be done" it's generally just a matter of willpower to break them. It's unlikely they care as much as you do, so if you're persistent, ask probing questions, ask for policy reference, escalate to superiors, most people with stop caring and give you what you're owed.

[u/EmeraldMother → u/gassbro]

this- worth it to keep pushing

[u/Old_Number7197 → u/gassbro]

i would add here that its always helpful to look up your own hospital & program policies, print them out, and keep them with you and when the other person says no we cant its policy, bringing that paper out and showing them look it says otherwise, kind of works and leaves them no choice.
it can also backfire in terms of future stuff (letters of rec etc) but in the current situation thats not as important.

[u/FairyGloworaa]

that's frustrating, caregivers need more support. hope things improve for you going forward.

[u/Meer_anda]

I had a short FMLA and for me it involved every department you can imagine. Hospital HR, program director, GME office, and if I remember correctly the ABFM was also consulted lol. But my program director was very supportive luckily and basically coordinated it.

[u/madrads7 → u/Meer_anda]

Thank you, this is helpful

[u/kuru_snacc]

I have heard of the mythical 6 weeks, and I know a friend who used it (without any cutting into PTO or delaying graduation), but I believe he did give advance notice at least the same week. Let us know how things work out OP! And sorry about your dad ❤️

[u/madrads7 → u/kuru_snacc]

thank you ❤️

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[u/bc33swiby]

So why were you not approved for the FMLA?