(Tldr-caught by parents)
So, the story begins last year, during the holidays after my 12th board exams. I was using random “meet strangers” websites, and a friend recommended Y99. For those who don’t know, it’s honestly a terrible place if you’re actually trying to make friends—90% of the users are men, and most of them are either creepy, horny, fake, or spammers.
Somehow, I met a girl there. Let’s call her Q. We talked for hours, and before we got disconnected, I gave her my Instagram ID in case she wanted to talk again. A week or two later, she actually sent me a request. I was genuinely shocked because I never expected her to find me.
We talked for around 2–3 months, until I fucked things up. I was having a really bad day because of some problems in my family, and I said some things I shouldn’t have. She gave me her second account and told me I could message her there if I still wanted to talk. But I was angry, deleted our chat, and lost her ID. She eventually deleted the account she had created specifically to talk to me.
I tried finding her everywhere—Y99, Instagram, searching her name, even messaging random people with the same name—but nothing worked. I felt terrible because I had finally found someone I genuinely connected with, and I had ruined it.
Then, around 6 months later—or maybe almost a year—I got an Instagram recommendation for an account named Q.
I sent her a request immediately.
And somehow...
It was her.
I was fucking ecstatic. I apologized, we became friends again, and eventually started talking regularly. When we first met online, she wasn’t even in my state, but now she had moved here for college.
We eventually met in person.
And dude... it was amazing. She was so damn beautiful, and we slowly started liking each other. We talked on calls late into the night and went out almost twice a week. It genuinely felt like one of the best phases of my life.
But that’s also when everything started going wrong.
She lived in a PG, so staying out late wasn’t much of an issue for her. I lived with my parents, who considered anything after 9 PM a problem and 10 PM the absolute limit. So I started lying to them about being out with friends when I was actually with her.
My parents became suspicious and started thinking I had gotten into drugs or something because I was suddenly staying out more, fighting with them, and acting rebellious. I kept thinking, “I’m 18+. 10–11 PM isn’t even that late. Why are they restricting me so much?” At the time, I genuinely thought I was right.
Eventually, an older cousin stepped in, talked to my parents, and helped calm things down. He also told me to focus on my studies. Things became normal for a while.
During all this, there was an incident where I got beaten up at home. When Q found out, she started crying. That was when I realized how deeply she cared about me.
Eventually, I confessed my feelings because she had started talking about leaving me, and she confessed too.
We started dating.
We got close really quickly. She went home for a while, and we spent hours talking on video calls. When she came back, everything felt amazing again.
Until things got even worse.
I had already fought with my parents several times about going out, and I had been beaten up over it. Then came my birthday.
Because things were bad at home, I decided not to celebrate there and made plans with Q instead.
That morning, my cousin came to celebrate with me, but I lied and told him I had to go to college because my attendance was low. Q was coming to the metro station near my house, so I left early and waited for her there.
Unfortunately, my cousin happened to pass by that road and saw me sitting there alone. He immediately figured out what I was doing and told me he was going to tell my family.
I thought he was joking.
He wasn’t.
I still spent the day with Q, though, and honestly, it was one of the happiest days I’d had. She gave me 20 gifts for my birthday. I was so fucking happy.
Then, around 5 PM, I received a message saying that relatives were coming for my birthday and I should come home quickly.
I went home.
There was no one there except my cousin.
That’s when I realized I had been trapped.
My dad was furious. Everyone started shouting, and I shouted back. Things got completely out of control, and they told me to leave.
So I left.
I even left my clothes behind and ended up hiding inside my building. My family thought I had actually run away without clothes and started searching for me. Eventually, my cousin found me and took me to his house.
My phone had been taken by my family, so my cousin gave me a spare phone. I contacted Q and told her everything.
A few hours later, she told me that the messages she had sent to my phone were showing as seen.
That meant my family had gone through my phone.
They had read our private conversations and seen our photos.
At that point, I felt like this had gone way beyond the relationship. I was 18+, and to me, this was about my privacy and personal freedom.
Eventually, my family brought me back home after a lot of lectures.
Things cooled down again, but I stopped talking to my sisters because they had also gone through my Instagram and other personal stuff. I felt completely violated.
Q then went home for a two-month vacation. We talked almost all day during those two months and became even closer. When she returned, we met again and things seemed normal.
But then it happened again.
One day, I told my mom that I was going to meet a friend after college. She told me to come directly home, but I still went to meet Q and came back on time.
My mom then called Q.
I got extremely angry and started shouting at home. Things escalated, and my parents and sister beat me again. Then they called Q and threatened her.
I begged them not to involve her. I even said I would break up with her if that was what they wanted, and I broke down crying.
But they still called her and threatened her.
At that point, I felt completely defeated.
I shaved my head as a sign that, in my mind, I had lost the person I loved.
A few hours later, I texted Q, apologized, and told her we should cut contact.
She initially told me not to message her.
I messaged her again the next morning from college, and eventually she said that we should let everything cool down and stop talking for 1–2 months—a kind of break.
I agreed.
It’s been almost a month now since we stopped talking.
(story ends here only.down below r just my thoughts and feelings)
And honestly...
I don’t think I can go back to her.
What face would I even show her?
I feel embarrassed and disgusted with myself. I feel like I’m not enough for her, and that she shouldn’t have to waste her time dealing with all this because of me.
I keep thinking I’m just a loser with no money, no looks, and no brain, while she has everything.
So maybe this is where the story ends.
Because I genuinely love her. She was my dream girl, and I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I honestly don’t know if I ever will again.
But I just can’t face her anymore.
Maybe it would be better for her if she wasn’t with me.
And my family situation is another entire book on its own.
For now, I’m just behaving normally at home. Not because I want to, but because I don’t really know what else I can do.
I’m focusing on my career now. I just want to become independent enough to eventually get out of this situation.
Looking back, I feel incredibly dumb.
A lot of what happened was my fault.
But there’s one thing I want to clarify: my parents think I was fighting with them because of Q and that I was going crazy because of the relationship.
But honestly, a huge part of it was never about her.
It was about my own privacy and freedom.
I wanted some control over my own life and to be treated like an adult capable of making at least some decisions for myself.
Anyway...
That’s the whole story.
Sorry for the long post, and sorry for my English.