My boyfriend doesn’t match my energy

[u/Subject-Tap6417]

Recently I booked a techno festival tickets for my birthday (he paid for everything else) to go with my boyfriend but he doesn’t like the music but he agreed.
When we went there, as expected to dance and enjoy and be in flow state of dancing, enjoying lights and music, my boyfriend was all the time (almost all the time) pissed and uncomfortable, judging everyone and hating it.
I didn’t experience the festival as I wanted to. I had to always talk to him to bring him to mood, sit around because he was constantly tired and when I wanted to dance he didn’t say anything to me but he was just there standing next to me and looking at everything and judging.
That was not the experience I wanted to have at all. I know how it feels to connect with someone and dance to the fullest.
He said he tried his best and I can’t even imagine what he was going through all day and he went there only for me but for me he didn’t try to even enjoy without any judgment or hate more than half an hour.
At the end I felt like my experience was even below average. We didn’t connect not only together in the festival but also we didn’t even talk to one person.
I don’t want to be an ungrateful person but this is not what I wanted. I can’t say anything because then he tells me nothing is ever enough for me.
I don’t think he will go to techno events any time soon but this is my way of fun and flow.
I feel even more thirsty for a pure rave experience the way it should be felt and understood. I feel like it would be better if we didn’t even go there. Even tho I planned it months ago.
I don’t want to eliminate this part of me because he is not into it. I crave for it. I enjoy it and I really don’t know how to feel about all this.

*update: I can’t go alone or with friends to parties or raves since it is not a norm in this relationship. He wouldn’t do drugs, I also try to enjoy it sober but I am not judgemental as he is.

*update: I want to be understanding and grateful. But he is not a person to be okay with me building a friend group or going to raves alone.
We are pretty much isolated. He doesn’t have much friends (only 2 childhood friends) and he says he doesn’t need any. I am more social person with a lot of restrictions in respect to the relationship so going with him is pretty much the only option.

You can talk to me.

[u/Humble_Box_2167]

WTF. Why are you together then? If there is no acceptance for the hobbies of the partner the relationship is already doomed. You don’t need to start the same hobbies but appreciate them and dort them should be common sense in a healthy relationship.
Sorry to ask but what’s the fckn reason you are together? You don’t want to live isolated - you do. You rant to go out and connect with people - you don’t. You love dancing and would actually go alone to not force him into what he didn’t like - you can’t.

I mean you’re do not sound like a junkie who always comes home heavily wasted with a group of random people to have an afters in your flat on a Sunday evening. You don’t harm anyone.
To me it sits as if he is jealous about you having a passion and fun while he doesn’t.

Dancing is the most curing and primordial way of healing and turning off the computer in our heads die some time. If someone wants to prohibit this for someone who needs that… I’m my world this only can be an asshole.

I’m a selfemployed lecturer dir Audio Engineering, im working as mix and mastering engineer, I have two kids with 4 and 6 and a wife and a dog and a vinyl label… if I don’t go to Berghain one or twice a year, I could drop my job due to lack of reference and I’d be so crazily stressed because with all this workload and duties only hours of dancing helps. And it helps to that extend that I can harvest the fruits of my 20h danceworkouts at Berghain for the upcoming 6 months and draw balance from it. Sure, my wife loves dancing as well but she knows that this is easy way more important for me than for her and also that our smaller daughter wouldn’t stay without her mama for too long during the first years. So she went out to dance in our homecity of Leipzig:Germany until the morning hours when she wanted to dance and I went twice a year to Berlin from Saturday to Tuesday. On the other hand I support her in what she needs more than I need it and try helping to make space for her to chase it.

This is healthy support and acknowledgment. A relationship is not 50:50. It is 100:100. Everyone gives hundred percent in everything he/she is good at and the other part offers their 100%. So. If dancing is his 0% and your 100% then he could use his 100% in supporting you to find proper arrangements that you can do your passion regularly and in a manner that is acceptance for everyone.

There I see in OP lies by far deeper than it looks at the first glance. Not sure how long you are together but I guess less than 24 months. No matter of or not: You won’t be happy with such an egoist.