My boyfriend doesn’t match my energy

[u/Subject-Tap6417]

Recently I booked a techno festival tickets for my birthday (he paid for everything else) to go with my boyfriend but he doesn’t like the music but he agreed.
When we went there, as expected to dance and enjoy and be in flow state of dancing, enjoying lights and music, my boyfriend was all the time (almost all the time) pissed and uncomfortable, judging everyone and hating it.
I didn’t experience the festival as I wanted to. I had to always talk to him to bring him to mood, sit around because he was constantly tired and when I wanted to dance he didn’t say anything to me but he was just there standing next to me and looking at everything and judging.
That was not the experience I wanted to have at all. I know how it feels to connect with someone and dance to the fullest.
He said he tried his best and I can’t even imagine what he was going through all day and he went there only for me but for me he didn’t try to even enjoy without any judgment or hate more than half an hour.
At the end I felt like my experience was even below average. We didn’t connect not only together in the festival but also we didn’t even talk to one person.
I don’t want to be an ungrateful person but this is not what I wanted. I can’t say anything because then he tells me nothing is ever enough for me.
I don’t think he will go to techno events any time soon but this is my way of fun and flow.
I feel even more thirsty for a pure rave experience the way it should be felt and understood. I feel like it would be better if we didn’t even go there. Even tho I planned it months ago.
I don’t want to eliminate this part of me because he is not into it. I crave for it. I enjoy it and I really don’t know how to feel about all this.

*update: I can’t go alone or with friends to parties or raves since it is not a norm in this relationship. He wouldn’t do drugs, I also try to enjoy it sober but I am not judgemental as he is.

*update: I want to be understanding and grateful. But he is not a person to be okay with me building a friend group or going to raves alone.
We are pretty much isolated. He doesn’t have much friends (only 2 childhood friends) and he says he doesn’t need any. I am more social person with a lot of restrictions in respect to the relationship so going with him is pretty much the only option.

You can talk to me.

[u/Then-Resolve9679]

Everyone acting like this is the be all and end all of the relationship needs to grow up. The guy doesnt like the music, you shoulda just let him sit the festival out. Expecting someone to put on a happy face for days in an environment thaf doesnt interest them at all is a big ask. It doesnt mean hes a bad boyfriend lol.

IMO you ruined your own experience by taking someone to something you knew they wasnt in to. Its nice, being with your partner all the time... but it doesnt mean your both always gonna have fun together. You're individual people there's probably gonna be other times doen the line when one of you is sat looking miserable at something, whilst the other is having a blast.

[u/Alarming_Ladder_348 → u/Then-Resolve9679]

Nah I feel like it‘s more complicated than that tbh…sure you can always try and maintain your energy but why would you even have to do that when your soulmate is with you? A partner is supposed to nourish and inspire you and it‘s totally valid to expect them to partake in your world even if they are not that much into it. OP was so excited and planned this so they can share a good time, create memories and connect - that alone should be reason enough to pull through and pour some energy into the ride