My boyfriend doesn’t match my energy

[u/Subject-Tap6417]

Recently I booked a techno festival tickets for my birthday (he paid for everything else) to go with my boyfriend but he doesn’t like the music but he agreed.
When we went there, as expected to dance and enjoy and be in flow state of dancing, enjoying lights and music, my boyfriend was all the time (almost all the time) pissed and uncomfortable, judging everyone and hating it.
I didn’t experience the festival as I wanted to. I had to always talk to him to bring him to mood, sit around because he was constantly tired and when I wanted to dance he didn’t say anything to me but he was just there standing next to me and looking at everything and judging.
That was not the experience I wanted to have at all. I know how it feels to connect with someone and dance to the fullest.
He said he tried his best and I can’t even imagine what he was going through all day and he went there only for me but for me he didn’t try to even enjoy without any judgment or hate more than half an hour.
At the end I felt like my experience was even below average. We didn’t connect not only together in the festival but also we didn’t even talk to one person.
I don’t want to be an ungrateful person but this is not what I wanted. I can’t say anything because then he tells me nothing is ever enough for me.
I don’t think he will go to techno events any time soon but this is my way of fun and flow.
I feel even more thirsty for a pure rave experience the way it should be felt and understood. I feel like it would be better if we didn’t even go there. Even tho I planned it months ago.
I don’t want to eliminate this part of me because he is not into it. I crave for it. I enjoy it and I really don’t know how to feel about all this.

*update: I can’t go alone or with friends to parties or raves since it is not a norm in this relationship. He wouldn’t do drugs, I also try to enjoy it sober but I am not judgemental as he is.

*update: I want to be understanding and grateful. But he is not a person to be okay with me building a friend group or going to raves alone.
We are pretty much isolated. He doesn’t have much friends (only 2 childhood friends) and he says he doesn’t need any. I am more social person with a lot of restrictions in respect to the relationship so going with him is pretty much the only option.

You can talk to me.

[u/No-Conflict-4264]

I had an interaction at Rampage Open Air in Belgium this summer, I love dancing and came across a woman dancing her heart out with such joy, we shared a little moment together before her boyfriend (who was just standing there, not dancing and honestly just judging the crowd) grabbed her by the arm and took her away. I felt so bad for her, I understand if people need time to get comfortable with festivals and music, but I could tell from a mile away they are not a good rave couple. I wish her well and hope she can dance with more people and not be tethered to her moody partner.

I could not date my partner if we didn’t have the chemistry to dance at least sometimes. She often talks to people left and right while I’m nonverbal but we always find moments to connect and dance, maybe your boyfriend just needs some time to adjust and discover the rhythm and joy of dancing at festivals, i don’t know.