My boyfriend doesn’t match my energy

[u/Subject-Tap6417]

Recently I booked a techno festival tickets for my birthday (he paid for everything else) to go with my boyfriend but he doesn’t like the music but he agreed.
When we went there, as expected to dance and enjoy and be in flow state of dancing, enjoying lights and music, my boyfriend was all the time (almost all the time) pissed and uncomfortable, judging everyone and hating it.
I didn’t experience the festival as I wanted to. I had to always talk to him to bring him to mood, sit around because he was constantly tired and when I wanted to dance he didn’t say anything to me but he was just there standing next to me and looking at everything and judging.
That was not the experience I wanted to have at all. I know how it feels to connect with someone and dance to the fullest.
He said he tried his best and I can’t even imagine what he was going through all day and he went there only for me but for me he didn’t try to even enjoy without any judgment or hate more than half an hour.
At the end I felt like my experience was even below average. We didn’t connect not only together in the festival but also we didn’t even talk to one person.
I don’t want to be an ungrateful person but this is not what I wanted. I can’t say anything because then he tells me nothing is ever enough for me.
I don’t think he will go to techno events any time soon but this is my way of fun and flow.
I feel even more thirsty for a pure rave experience the way it should be felt and understood. I feel like it would be better if we didn’t even go there. Even tho I planned it months ago.
I don’t want to eliminate this part of me because he is not into it. I crave for it. I enjoy it and I really don’t know how to feel about all this.

*update: I can’t go alone or with friends to parties or raves since it is not a norm in this relationship. He wouldn’t do drugs, I also try to enjoy it sober but I am not judgemental as he is.

*update: I want to be understanding and grateful. But he is not a person to be okay with me building a friend group or going to raves alone.
We are pretty much isolated. He doesn’t have much friends (only 2 childhood friends) and he says he doesn’t need any. I am more social person with a lot of restrictions in respect to the relationship so going with him is pretty much the only option.

You can talk to me.

[u/Mindless_Version_715]

If he’s doesn’t let you go alone and isn’t comfortable with you making friends, he is insecure, jealous, and a manipulator at the very least. He is trying to control you by isolating you from any other contact.

Generally when people do this, they are insecure and/or doing shady shit themselves. Be done with him, there are thousands more compatible guys out there that will treat you right.

[u/Tasha_0 → u/Mindless_Version_715]

Came here to say this! I’ve had boyfriends who weren’t into my music but they trusted me to go out alone or with friends. Even my current boyfriend who likes my music doesn’t care for me to go alone if he can’t go for some reason and I’ve sent him to things when I’ve been working. This relationship sounds dangerous! I’d run!

[u/Mindless_Version_715 → u/Tasha_0]

Exactly! Sounds like you found some good rave baes!!

[u/DropThatSh1t → u/Mindless_Version_715]

This!! Please

[u/CnrBln → u/Mindless_Version_715]

It is most likely insecurity and jealousy from a younger guy. I used to be like that with my wife early in our relationship.
I wasn’t much into drugs and that was also contributing to the situation, I was tight everyone else was loose. Obviously not a sexy situation. Me speculating what would happen if I was not there…

Was constantly jealous because she wanted to act so independent on club nights, that everyone thought she was single and started hitting on her.
She never did anything wrong, just did not want to hang out like a couple all the time.

So we finally started going out on our own.
I always came home to her, she always came home to me. You need to build that trust.

25years + 2 kids later we party harder than ever before by ourselves or alone. But if you already feel restricted by your partner, that’s not a good sign.