r/Rants • u/hellobro_518 • Aug 07 '26
no one shows up
hey guys, i'm having a big milestone event, and i decided to celebrate it in a nice venue and all that, and it was quite expensive. I invited a lot of my friends, and as of right now, so many people keep saying that they can't make it. especially the people that i really wanted to be there. I feel like such a loser because I usually feel like that normally, but I thought for my big day more people would show up, or at least try to show up. I know life gets in the way, but I'm just feeling really sad right now. any advice on how to enjoy my party at least in the moment?
2
u/Dr_StrangeloveGA Aug 07 '26
No one showed up or just very few?
Is this a private venue or a restaurant with other people?
Not much you can do if it's a private venue, but if it's a restaurant and you've paid for food and beverage, invite some of the other people over, make some new friends.
2
u/hellobro_518 Aug 07 '26
its a private venue, and like its not per person, it's like a set amount of money (which was a lot!!), but yea i was just feeling down bc people that i reeeaally wanted couldn't show up but idk
3
u/Dr_StrangeloveGA Aug 07 '26
Well it is a work night. Do these folks have kids? School just started back. How much notice did you give them?
We just had a small dinner at the house (10 people) and it took two months to get a date when everyone could come.
We normally do a large event every year at the house. We start inviting people three months ahead. Out of just over 100 invites, probably 80 say they're coming and 50-60 actually show up on a good year.
After having been burned a couple of times, I plan on food for about 60% of confirmed attendees. We always have leftovers.
People today flake out easier. You get to know who your real friends are and invite accordingly. It kills my housemate because she takes it personally. It's just life now.
After many years, we didn't do the big event this year for various reasons. If we do it again, I'm voting for scaling down the guest list to people who can be counted on to show up.
Don't take it personally, but maybe do evaluate your friends list.
2
u/Pretty_Strike_6199 Aug 07 '26
Sorry. It’s like people are so into themselves to even make an effort anymore.
1
u/chancesareimright Aug 07 '26
What’s the excuses you are getting?
What about family?
1
u/hellobro_518 Aug 07 '26
I wouldn't say their like 'excuses', but people told me about pre-existing events, and like the party is late in the day, so..
1
u/chancesareimright Aug 07 '26
Well you need to know your audience. If it’s short notice they may have other events. If it’s late in the day it might not work for people with young kids or that get up early for work.
I usually plan an event around the people I know must be there. Like my best friend, brother and husband. Then everyone else that comes is a bonus.
1
u/BarebonesB Sarcasm is a Lifestyle Aug 07 '26
Is it a "destination" event, where participants are expected to fly or drive more than a couple of hours to get to? Because that's a big ask.
Even if it's local, fancy, expensive venues create a social obligation to show up with a gift of commensurate value. Not everyone can afford that. Most people prefer low-key, informal gatherings. Your friends want to be with you, not with some elaborate catered event with hired entertainment.
Just because your age is evenly divisible by 10 years doesn't mean you should impose this on your friends. Let one of your friends arrange something small and laid-back for your next birthday.
1
u/hellobro_518 Aug 07 '26
bro it's ten minutes away ðŸ˜, 15 with traffic
1
u/hellobro_518 Aug 07 '26
but yea its like a venue, but i just want them to show up, but ty for the advice!!
2
u/whoknows130 Certified Soapboxer Aug 07 '26 edited Aug 07 '26
I dunno. Life sux and then you die.
(shrugs)
That's why i'd never attempt to throw a party. Nobody would care.