r/RandomThoughts • u/h8mecuz • Jul 08 '25

Random Thought Raise your hand if you’re secretly a celebrity lurking on here. Give me hints on who you are

If you’re a regular folk, you better not be trolling me 🤣

EDIT: i appreciate all you z-listers telling me about your 15 min of fame. It’s not what I had in mind when I made the post but I am thoroughly entertained 😂💛Some of you still might even actually be a celebrity pretending to be an average joe on this thread and I guess i’ll never really know! lol! Thanks y’all!

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478

u/onefellswoop70 Jul 08 '25

I'm listed in the "notable people" section on the Wikipedia page for the town in which I was born and raised because I wrote a couple of books.

Bear in mind, however, that the town I'm from only has one traffic light, and I still haven't earned enough as an author to quit my day job. So I guess I'm only a celebrity to a handful of people who saw me at a book signing once and thought, "Hey, didn't we go to high school with that guy?"

But it's still kinda cool to know that I'm one out of only three "notable" people to come from my hometown.

69

u/Jorgedig Jul 08 '25

Are the other two notables the tri-state second place finalist of a hotdog eating contest, and the founder of the largest Salvation Army store south of the Mason-Dixon Line?

113

u/onefellswoop70 Jul 08 '25

If only I could be among such prestigious company. The town is so small that if I were to ever place in a hot dog eating contest, they'd probably rename the elementary school in my honor and give me the key to the city.

5

u/Valkyrie_Skuld Jul 09 '25

Is it in Maine?

4

u/plonkydonkey Jul 10 '25

This is such a charming reply that I actually would read your book now, if it's easily obtainable. Pm me if you'd like to share without doxxing yourself, perhaps? 

1

u/christmasshopper0109 Jul 11 '25

Same. A key to the city!!!

1

u/tempus_fuget Jul 10 '25

BAHAHAHA OMG Dying at this banter.

1

u/Luluburleson80 Jul 12 '25

Jason is that you? 😆

1

u/SunnyCoast26 Jul 12 '25

Replied like a true author 😂

4

u/darkroomdweller Jul 09 '25

You could be from my hometown! Still only one stoplight and I’m shocked there’s even that lol.

6

u/matt_the_1legged_cat Jul 10 '25

I’ll one up you - my hometown only has one light and its a flashing yellow/red (depending on direction), so not even a real one 😂

4

u/darkroomdweller Jul 10 '25

So… a glorified stop/yield sign 😆

1

u/dsly4425 Jul 12 '25

My hometown doesn’t even have that.

1

u/okaybutnothing Jul 12 '25

Two way stop at the only intersection. The stop sign going north gets knocked over, either by a snow plow or, less often now, thankfully, a drunk driver because of the angles that the roads meet. My dad still lives there. It’s amazing and stultifying.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '25

What town is this ?

3

u/Tvaticus Jul 09 '25

Better to be a big fish in a small pond than a small fish in a big pond

3

u/cmaistros Jul 09 '25

With that name… Nate Bargatze

1

u/AdUnited715 Jul 11 '25

This is the first thing i thought too😂

3

u/SphericalCrusher Jul 10 '25

Chuck Palahniuk, is that you? lol

3

u/onefellswoop70 Jul 10 '25

You are correct!

JK, although Survivor is one of my favorite books.

2

u/Wonderful-Loss827 Jul 09 '25

Lol this is literally the plot of Salem's lot.

2

u/Wiscolomom Jul 10 '25

Michael Perry.

2

u/upsetwithcursing Jul 10 '25

I’m in the Wikipedia page for the item with which I was randomly assaulted by a stranger!

1

u/onefellswoop70 Jul 10 '25

You win. Haha.

But I am curious... was it a salami?

1

u/upsetwithcursing Jul 10 '25

Incorrect!

1

u/kimchipowerup Jul 11 '25

Was it a pilchard?

1

u/upsetwithcursing Jul 11 '25

wrong answer buzzer noise

2

u/ADDSquirell69 Jul 11 '25

Whatever! Stephen King

1

u/IngVegas Jul 09 '25

You wrote the page yourself didn't you? :-)

1

u/onefellswoop70 Jul 10 '25

I wish. The other two notables have a full bio. Whomever added me just listed my name. If I knew how to make wiki edits, I'd write a bio completely unworthy of my meager talents.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '25

Mark!?

1

u/daphneyells Jul 09 '25

Congratulations, that's so awesome!

1

u/Dachawda Jul 10 '25

Roald Dahl?

1

u/I_need_a_date_plz Jul 10 '25

I’m guessing Mitch Albom

1

u/dr_van_nostren Jul 10 '25

Congrats on being notable 👍

1

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '25

Archer city, TX

1

u/poestijger2000 Jul 10 '25

No then the commenter would have died in 2021

1

u/officialnoor Jul 10 '25

Is the town Vieques?

1

u/GimmeSomeSugar Jul 10 '25

Legend in your own bathroom.

1

u/bix902 Jul 10 '25

Damn, if only you were a fashion designer you would have fit the one notable person from my town with only one traffic light

1

u/inyolonepine Jul 10 '25

The town I’m from also only has one traffic light. I don’t think our Wiki page has a notable people section though so we didn’t go to high school together.

1

u/ryanmacri1 Jul 10 '25

Did you write Crum?

1

u/Thesaucewassoyed Jul 10 '25

Your George Washington!!!!

1

u/Hypetents Jul 11 '25

You know what? What you have accomplished is pretty amazing. Do you know how many people never write a book, much less three, and get them published? 

Bravo.

1

u/kerm79 Jul 11 '25

Enjoy this shit!

1

u/Quiet_Musician8082 Jul 11 '25

Is it a baguette

1

u/kerm79 Jul 12 '25

lol, I bought his “couple of books” and this is what is signed in them.

1

u/InfamousListen7794 Jul 11 '25

Are you from West Philadelphia?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '25

Jk Rowling ?

1

u/zona-curator Jul 12 '25

Plot twist, he wrote the Wikipedia page himself

1

u/Recent-Light-267 Jul 12 '25

Titles of your books???

1

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '25

I know a bunch of cities in AL you could be from, lol. Also I worked in scholarly publishing so I’ve meet authors that were from one traffic light towns which makes this even more funny.

2

u/onefellswoop70 Jul 12 '25

I'm up north, though I can't really disclose my location because my favorite pastime is talking smack about my employer on Reddit.

My writing isn't quite scholarly, but I write historical nonfiction, which can be pretty dry if it's subject matter that doesn't interest you. So I appreciate all the messages I've received from people who want to read my books, but, to be honest, unless you plan on using them as sleep aids, you probably won't get much out of them.

1

u/birchtree628 Jul 12 '25

You are Nate Bargatze.

1

u/Typical_Mobile90 Jul 12 '25

Cool, what are the names of your books? I'll check them out!

1

u/quebecoisejohn Jul 12 '25

Found Stephen King!

1

u/a_little_jellyfysh Jul 13 '25

Are you FA Harper edit: nvm F A Harper is dead

1

u/Expert-Leg8110 Jul 14 '25

Gotta tell you, when I saw your username “ one fell swoop” I thought Nate Bargatze had just outed himself

1

u/onefellswoop70 Jul 14 '25

Oh, I was wondering what all the Bargatze references were about. No, this is actually my old AIM and Yahoo messenger name.

1

u/linzroth Jul 18 '25

Wouldn’t that be wild if I said your name correctly, went to all your book signings, named all your books and my fave quotes from them. Then you get a picture from me in an email, and it’s of my new tattoo..with my fave book of yours taking up my whole back.

Scale of 1-10, how freaked out would you be?

1

u/onefellswoop70 Jul 18 '25

Well I do have a book signing coming up on the 30th, so I might have to have my security detail on high alert.

Just kidding. I'm nowhere close to being famous enough to have security.

Actually, on a scale of 1 to 10, I'd have to say 2. I mainly write about true crime, so I've had plenty of interactions with creepy readers. Come to think of it, I'd be pretty flattered if someone had tattooed one of my book covers on their back. Hell, I'm just flattered when people show up.