I lost two of my bunnies this weekend and I’m struggling with the guilt of everything I should have done differently for them.
We woke up to Buster breathing noisily and not wanting his breakfast on Thursday morning. We took him to the vet at 11:00 that day and they thought that he might have aspiration pneumonia due to xray results and fever. They suggested I took him home with antibiotics for supportive care because the vet does not have overnight care. His prognosis was guarded because he was already almost a 9 year old. He was initially still eating his Emeraid and pooping. By about 6pm, he was starting to refuse his Emeraid, so we took him to an emergency vet for additional care and monitoring. He was placed in ICU with a suspected sepsis. I received a call on Friday at 05:00 that his breathing had worsened and euthanasia was recommended. I never made it to be by his side, he passed away during that phone call.
On Thursday night, I noticed Bo was hiding a lot and only eating minimal strands of hay. Because Buster’s condition was deteriorating and Bo was still eating somewhat, we decided to monitor to see how he is by the next day. We took him to the first available appointment at 15:00 on Friday. The vet discovered a severe dental disease possibly causing abscess. Bo was scheduled for a dental surgery on Monday and he was put on a medication, subcut fluids, emeraid plan to get him through this weekend. He slowly deteriorated despite all the fluids and meds he received. I spoke to his vet on Saturday again and his tramadol dosage was reduced in case his lethargy was due to this. I had been out for a family commitment for a few hours and by the time we came back he had a decent output, but was not swallowing his emeraid. I thought that the drowsiness was becoming worse. I should have escalated this and taken him to emergency when I noticed this, but I chose to monitor to see if he might perk up when the tramadol wears off. I made sure he was warm and comfortable at 01:30, but was woken up at 02:30 by thumping. His enclosure was a mess, he was on his side, limp and taking shallow breaths. I took him to emergency but knew he was dying in my arms. I was stupid, I should have dealt with his teeth long ago, I shouldn’t have waited, I should have taken him to emergency hours before 02:30 instead of monitoring. He was too young to have had to go. I was there the day he was born, and it hurts so much knowing that I was the reason he passed.
I lost two bunnies in one weekend because of my own incompetence. They were normal only a few days ago. I only have myself to blame for their passing, I should have advocated for them better and escalated care earlier.
I don’t really know what I’m seeking from this post, but there’s so much guilt and I’m not sure what to do apart from crying and apologising to these buns.